Welcome to The Election Day Edition of The Crap We Missed, which literally couldn’t have less to do with the democratic process. Unless our forefathers actually intended for the electoral college to be Fish, naked under a cap and gown, cracking a whip and shouting, “No, goddamnit, none of this was in my Jon Hamm penis dream!” (Full Disclaimer: Photo may or may not actually include penis.) At any rate, today we’ve got Khloe Kardashian actually looking better than Britney Spears and Demi Lovato at The X Factor Finalists Party and you know what? I’m going to stop right there. Between that and trying to decipher what exactly is going on in this picture, I’m tossing in the towel on reality.
So wait, Russell Simmons is just passing these out now? Neat,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I was debating today whether or not to go to the gym tonight.
But I think I’m definitely going now.
“I set the Sybian to high, my dear”
“Excuse me! Excuse me!! Are you the fat one, or the not so fat one?! What’s that? The pretty one?!?! Hmmmm… I must have the wrong press conference. Sorry!”
Cream Corn is doing well for himself.
No wonder she’s horny. You’re doing it wrong.
Just realized that she left her coke spoon in her other purse.
Inside she’s crying,
but outside….well, outside she’s a fucking mess.
They added “Achy Breaky Heart” to Chicago? Why fuck with a classic?
I know right? Chicago just ruins it
“Is it… did it land on my head? OMG I’m terrified of birds. Kill it, kill it!!”
Hard to believe that the hobo from Scrooged became president, nailed a fatty and then was called to save someone else’s presidential campaign.
We live in interesting times.
The “I just got fucked in the car on the way over here” looks good on her.
The “I just got fucked in the car on the way over here” look looks good on her.
One more time!
Are you mocking yourself?
No. I missed a word in the first one and tried to correct it. This site needs to allow us to edit our posts.
I agree with that.
I agree with that.
I’ve tried to correct mine after hitting “submit” and been scolded by a screen telling me I’m posting too fast. I guess we should accept not getting a second chance since we are mostly cracking jokes about people that were caught off guard. Sometimes we realize the error in time and other times we leave a foot dangling in the water for too long and the piranha get it.
Also, Willem just saw the sailboat on her jacket.
Would it kill us to give our posts a once-over before we hit the Submit button? (That goes for you, too, Fish.)
Sometimes the errors are funny though. Not as funny as watching posts on Facebook from people’s mobile devices but still funny.
I say leave them.
Love him!
They call it the shocker. Harry says American girls love it.
The cast of the new Star Wars movie is shaping up nicely. Ice queen for Leia, geriatric for Han Solo and now we have our wookiee!
Very pretty, but comes across as boring as fuck.
I don’t know. I read she knows kickboxing, so go in with a stiff upper lip if you want to front in front of her.
Is that Iliana Fischer?
Wow, his nose has exploded in size and color = boozing hardcore.
“You can always spot an old drunk by his nose” someone I forget used to tell me.
Gin blossom.
Whenever someone said that to me, I was the one they were saying it about.
She only lets the landscaper dry hump her reflection.
Desperate for attention
I was obsessed with her in the Olympics, and I am still digging those strong thighs now!
You know she’s legal now. Doesn’t that degrade it a bit?
It does somewhat McBeef!
Looks like someone carrying 80 pounds of mashed potatoes in black, plastic shopping bag.
Dat looks like chewed bubble gum
Topo Gigio dirties up nice.
i find her adorable
The fact that he can still pull a piece of ass like that, shows that his childhood was fucked up and the universe is compensating for it.
sorry, but it only takes money to pull a piece of ass like that. more than a little, can he possibly still be getting residual checks? for what?
Goonies. Of course.
“Ain’t no more salisbury steak!”
Looks like her taco is popping.
Can somebody take that hat off her head and stab her in the throat with it?
“What can I say? Ice T cornered the market on white booties.”
Kevin Hart looks like he’s trying to figure out how he got sent back in time to 1999.
“Whats your favorite scary movie”
If that is T.I.’s wife, she looks more like his mother.
where did my pockets go??
Why did this make me laugh so hard?
What’s to decipher? Clearly, the head of Nelly’s junk is a worn looking black lady that T.I. is familiar with. Probably because his “looks just like that.” Kevin Hart is reacting like that because he can see that Nelly had it pierced with diamonds. Kevin Hart is short.
He’s too awesome to put into words.
“and then…hahaha, and then, all the small ones gathered around with their dirty soccer balls and aske me to sign them. It was dusk, and all I could see were smiling teeth. Quite frightening, quite frightening indeed.
“Hey man!…some ones gotta hit”
Representing the Olympics well.
Yeah, she’s special.
He doesn’t really find that funny.
Hat – awful
Mischa – looking old
Old guy in background – about to drop dead from aneurysm
haaahaha He really looks freaky!
He’s all ruddy and green like a leprechaun.
And yours is such a sober country, Cran. Temperate, even.
Yeah, nah. :D
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAcey!
You scream for him, too?
Looks like Palsy to me.
“Hey, I’m gay.”
“No shit.”
Obama’s people are truly pulling out all the stops. They even got the ol’ W.C. Fields hologram going.
What I wouldn’t do…..
Tommy is living the dream.
*DING* “Cream filled fling! PICK IT UP!”
Someone I don’t know shilling bags I won’t buy from someone else I don’t know. I love this country.
“Um, no. That actually isn’t my favourite horse you see me with all the time. That’s my lady; Camilla Parker Toilet Bowles. And yes, she’s the one I cheated on Princess Di, with.”
ER MAH GERD ERTS PERCER WERTER!
Not just stylish, but Chloe Sevigny stylish.
More like Golide Hawn hot.
Betcha she never asks to see the Crown Jewels again.
He will always have one loyal fan, himself.
Swarovski, the official crystal of vagazzling.