Welcome to The Crap We Missed – Armageddon Edition, which I really have no reason for naming it so, considering the Earth has yet to implode or at the very least swallow these two into a crevice. But since there’s still a few hours of east coast time for this all to go down, you might as well spend them doing something really important. For example, you could hump your Christmas tree, or send up a Gerard Butler flare, maybe finally come out to a close buddy, or hey, it’s the end of the world, fuck it, just let your moobs fly! However you decide to do it, it’s been a true pleasure.
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Pointless scribbling, blurry pictures and being made a fool of by silicon. She’s like a newspaper on holidays
I’m going to beat your gay, pretty face with this microphone if you don’t move your hand and stop singing to me.
The name? Trash. White Trash. I prefer my moonshine shaken, not stirred.
Got her nipples stuck in the sap.
Isn’t the guy on the left kinda old to be her son?
Those tits are sagging entirely too much for such a young woman. I blame Scientology and a lack of sex for the last 7+ years.
The dress is pulling them down. She’s too flat-chested for sagging tits.
Who? Who? Who?
No, no and no.
She’s a bit of an odd duck looking girl, but I would still tear that ass up.
The Two Stooges
Pictured: All six prostitutes Simon hired that evening.
Jackie Stallone got her haircut?
Does this count as a “see-through?”
No idea who this is, but I would love to nuzzle up to her milk factories.
I can never tell which one the girl is…..
He really needs to invest in a decent bra. If he keeps letting them hang like that, he’s going to end up with some wicked back problems.
Yeesh.
What is it with talentless pieces of glorified eye-candy and doing plays? Trying to prove how totally awful they are?
Yeah, it’s not like she won a Tony Award when she was on Broadway two years ago—oh wait, no, she did win a Tony two years ago.
“Oh, they just gave her a Tony because she’s a movie star!”
Yeahhh, no. The Tonys don’t give awards out to bad actresses just because they’re famous.
I sense that he actually wants us all to see those moobs, and that’s just another reason to hate his guts.
The cat won’t be on the roof for long after seeing those tits.
She’s so zoinked out she doesn’t notice the FREAKING SKELETON HAND ON HER HIP?
And two nipples in a pear tree.
He auditioning older women for Miley. She’s going through a “mature” woman phase.
Get a room, would ya?
Why is Kate Middleton in the audience?
Looks like she’s decided she wants a gay son.
Please explain to me how getting a pedicure determines sexual orientation (this ought to be good). And please cite peer reviewed cases and studies from accredited organizations to support your ideas and claims. Thanks!
Please provide peer reviewed documentation that you have a sense of humour.
It’s a ridiculous assertion. A meta-analysis of multiple peer-reviewed gender studies journals finds that what turns you gay is being a joyless troll at websites based on celebrity parody.
Geez, Hef, lay off the steroids.
Reese Witherspoon’s kinky “Jim Toth as Naked Santa” fantasies have been uncovered.
“Will these red panties make my chin look smaller?”
No, but they could serve as a very useful distraction from it.
now he really looks like a retired Nazi soldier.
That haircut hasn’t been seen on people other than kids.
Hey look – if those car mirror hangie thingies work in my station wagon, a whole damn tree _should_ work on her hoo-haw.
“When I tried to buy this pen, the heeb at the counter tried to Jew me on the price. I told him to go fuck himself, laid the money on the counter and walked away. At the door I turned around and said “Merry fucking, Christmas.”
The cashier’s name was Christmas?
I don’t know where that comma came from. My bad.
That’s not “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof”, it’s “Moist Pussy On A Grandma Quilt”
With her being Asian I assume she’s packing a bush that just as big down there.
Hey Look! Jenga!
“…and then you bring the tip to your mouth like this… and geeeeeently start by kissing it.”
I’d love to have some fun with her in that port-o-potty.
“Still better than Maria’s cooking. Not as good as the maid I knocked up though”
“I’m pregnant!”
“Out of the way , I have to spit!!”
It’s the new snacking craze… Chips and lips.
Tom Cruise ruined a perfectly hot young woman. Totally still would, though.
Doy Doy Doy ert ert ert
I hope she doesn’t buy those undies. They look chin-tzy.
Classy, uber-talented Jerry Orbach (R.I.P.) played the role of lawyer Billy Flynn in the original Broadway production of Chicago. Most people remember him as Det. Lennie Briscoe from the early Law & Order years.
Now, with endless ‘revivals’ on Broadway, they have to get a ‘name’ to get bums in seats to make money.
So, in comes father of Hannah Montana/ One-Hit-Wonder-Achy-Breaky Billy Ray C-Lister.
I hope the theatre charged double for all the Wal-Mart asses that wouldn’t fit in one seat…
That black guy looks surprisingly unsatisfied with the blowjob Zach just gave him.
Thin wool shirt + some well-timed camera flashes + the right angle = too much sexy
You’re never too young to learn how to not groom yourself…
(oh please! We have people for that!)
“Samuel, stop scratching your weenie…I’ll call Consuelo in here to scratch it for you. I’m sure you’ll like that much better. Besides, that’s part of her job.”
Hey Bai… while I’m sure fucking you feels like kicking a hotdog down Main Street, I don’t think you can shoplift this tree by shoving it in your ‘secret wonton wrapper’.
Merry Christmas, Johnny P! :D
And to you, Snapple!
Sorry your 2012 sucked ass so badly, but a new year’s just around the corner.
Have great holidays, only hang out with people who you like, eat and drink everything in sight, and keep me laughing in 2013!
JP!
You’re a sweetheart! And likewise to you as well!
Megahughugz! :D
No. Maybe. Not even with your
You sure this ain’t a screencap from Mulholland Drive?