The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.20.11

April 20th, 2011 // 336 Comments

Welcome to the midweek The Crap We Missed and I often make jokes about signs of the Apocalypse, but this time I’m genuinely not fucking around: The Charlie Sheen Sex Doll – SOLD OUT. Because apparently there are women out there who fear their non-mangled vaginas are depriving them of sex with a violent drug addict, so they’re willing to settle for his vinyl form. We’re all gonna die.

Exhibit B: Wait until you see who’s still alive at the end,

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, INFdialy, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Michele Bachmann
    Jeremy Feist
    Commented on this photo:

    The hands say “I’m a REAL American!” but the eyes say “I will eat the cock out of your cunt for some crystal meth.”

  2. Charlie Sheen Sex Doll
    serious question
    Commented on this photo:

    What does a male doll do to a women … I mean it can’t get hard …

    • Bucky Barnes

      Yeah right, like women are the target demographic. Every frat house in the country will own at least one.

  3. Jessica Lowndes
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she’s using all her brain power to hold that pose.

  4. Jude Law
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    EVERYONE in this picture is thinking, “This dude is weird.”

  5. Craig Robinson
    Commented on this photo:

    Musta got him some good ternoont – that shit burns!

  6. Zac Efron
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    That look might get someone pregnant. Guys included.

  7. Fergie
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie tranny theory of the day: John Cryer trying to dress up as Denise Richards.

  8. Craig Robinson
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s trying to act like he enjoyed the movie. He can’t.

  9. Fergie
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Fun Fact: The bite pressure of the North American Fergie is 54,000 PSI.

  10. Fred Durst
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Life is like a box of choc-o-lates…

  11. Dennis Quaid Gerard Butler
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    D: All I have is a $20, man. What can I get?
    G: Well, it’s $50 for a tug and chug, but I suppose I could just give you a hando for $20.

  12. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    Asian Slingblade sees what’s going on here.

  13. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever went on in the El Rey Theater, it must have been traumatic to leave her looking that greasy and blotchy. Unless she look like that going in too, in which case…uh, skank?

  14. The Rock
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you see the rock that the Rock is boogin’?

  15. Calista Flockhart
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    I Want To Believe!

  16. Samantha Ronson
    Charmless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    I… I think that dude is dead.

  17. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    That kid looks humiliated to be in a photo with a costumed douchebag and a guy with a blue face.

  18. The Rock
    Ed
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got something lingering in his snot locker

  19. Dennis Quaid Gerard Butler
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dude, my ball hair and chin hair have the exact same texture! Seriously! Feel!

  20. The Rock
    Commented on this photo:

    that dude is going to be pissed off that The Rock signed his iPad screen.

  21. brian

    So apparently Demi Lovato was diagnoses with Bi-polar Disorder

  22. Fergie
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting pattern on her shirt, I wonder how she got her cumshots to do that?

  23. Craig Robinson
    Commented on this photo:

    And black actors always wonder why they never win any Oscars

    • Jovy

      *gets some popcorn and waits* Nothing like a dull, insignificant racist to bring some entertainment to a thread like this.

      • Oh hey there! Thanks for waiting for me,I completely forgot we made plans last Tuesday for me to tell you what a moron you are today, you know what they say; Time flies when you’re a white supremacist!! Oh look and you made some popcorn-Fuck it’s cold, how long have you been waiting?
        Now…Are you implying that blacks not winning Oscars bc they’re black? What a racist you are.*takes your cold popcorn and dumps it on your head*
        I’m saying the solution to the concern of there not being enough acting roles for minorities (a valid point), is not writing/directing/producing/acting in 134 Madea Goes to the Dentist movies that everybody, including its own actors(pan to Craig Robinson’s face) thinks is a piece of shit.
        Now stay with me, I feel like I’m losing you..Instead, they can put their talents to better use and make something that could actually be considered entertaining and thought provoking, not laughable and an embarassment to the black community.
        This way when Oscar season rolls around and 50 cent’s Get Rich or Kill a Bitch Ass Ho while Robbing a Liquor Store doesn’t get nominated for Movie of the Year, there won’t be any disappointment and shouts at the TV going “Fucking white racist pigs, we got snubbed again!”
        Or you know, you could keep playing the racist card and waiting for the next non-event to occur whatever works. Bring your popcorn and make sure it’s hot next time.

      • Ha-and I just realized Craig Robinson is in the Office and not this piece of fail

      • Blech

        I love how hungarianprincess thinks she’s funny.

  24. Josh Duhamel
    Archer
    Commented on this photo:

    Matthew Perry heard there was going to be a Friends reunion

  25. Dennis Quaid Gerard Butler
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess in Scotland it’ a lot easier to masturbate in public, what with the kilts and all.

  26. Samantha Ronson
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    “My new plan to keep Lindsay away: NECROMANCY! Come Asian Zombie Slave!”

  27. Jessica Lowndes
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    eww

  28. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, there really isn’t any way to make this funny. This is just sad.

  29. Fred Durst
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Law & Order: Criminal Intent even still on? ‘Cuz Vincent D’Onofrio’s lost weight.

  30. I diagnose her with meth and cocaine addiction as well as crap parents and Hollywood entitlement syndrome… but hey, I am a realist.

    Funny thing about bi-polar diagnoses too. There are a LOT of hacks out there the diagnose this without REAL due diligence. If you wanna see someone in a REAL Manic phase, see the antics of Charlie Sheen of late…. I don’t think for two seconds that Demi Lovato OR CZ Jones are bi-polar. I think it is just a good way to offset personal responsibility.

  31. Dennis Quaid Gerard Butler
    Archer
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s called the Double Dutch Rudder. It’s like jerking off together but not gay.”

  32. Charlie Sheen Sex Doll
    winningrockstar
    Commented on this photo:

    Warning: may result in the production of droopy-eyed armless children.

  33. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a leather-loving lesbian hipster. He’s a narcoleptic failed sumo gangster. Watch them redefine fashion together in Tongue and Tong.

  34. Billy Rubin

    Hilarious artwork

  35. Mischa Barton
    Sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s still hot no matter what.

  36. Ricky Martin
    Debutante
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know….he kind of reminds me of a gay Jim Carrey in this pic.

  37. Jude Law
    Debutante
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwww…. I think it’s a cute picture w/o the blue man ! His daughter is a real cutie !

  38. Jessica Lowndes
    Honey Cunt
    Commented on this photo:

    So early 20-somethings are getting facelifts now?

  39. Samantha Ronson
    Debutante
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL at Equinox ! too funny.

  40. Mischa Barton
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    A turd is still a turd, even when covered in sequins.

  41. Fred Durst
    Debutante
    Commented on this photo:

    My, my Fred, you’re aging nicely !!! He looks like a pedophile.

  42. Jude Law
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Sienna…why so blue?

  43. Mischa Barton
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    Speaking of the apocalypse…

  44. Ricky Martin
    Commented on this photo:

    You may think he’s singing, but he’s really screaming “Ouch” from the crotch burn sweating in his leather pants gave him.

  45. Ricky Martin
    Sassy
    Commented on this photo:

    What animal died on his head? I thought gay men were supposed to have good taste and fashion sense?

  46. Ricky Martin
    That's it, right there
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay as a tangerine.

    Gay as a French horn.

    Gay as a Chinese finger bowl.

    (I got a million of ‘em)

  47. Zac Efron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitches in MY car? It’s less likely than you think.”

  48. Josh Duhamel
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    First look from the set of Taxi 2: Electric Boogaloo.

  49. Charlie Sheen Sex Doll
    Commented on this photo:

    They forgot to list a feature on the box… every week you simply let a little more air out so that it continues to look like the man himself.

  50. Jude Law
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    That little boy looks like a douche.

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