The Crap We Missed – 1.27.12

January 27th, 2012 // 559 Comments

“Appears to be sewn-in… Uh, clean-up, aisle frog.”

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Nick Nolte not giving a fuck so hard other people’s fucks are disintegrating before they themselves can be given, Vanessa Paradis trying to distract from her face in the worst way possible, Claire Danes getting banged by an Iron Chef and Superman‘s black now, so have fun adjusting to that one, racism, because he says his birth certificate’s up yo mama’s ass.

Up, up, and away, cracka,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Seal
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Hope the racists don’t see this. They’d probably make some joke about a flying monkey.

  2. Daniel Radcliffe
    stucco
    Commented on this photo:

    I will shank the first one of you mother fuckers that call’s me potter.

  3. Armie Hammer Mugshot Marijuana Possession
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know why he’s smiling. With those looks he’d be a supermodel in prison…

  4. Jessica Chastain See Through Dress
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    More of her, less of Cage & Nolte.

  5. Daniel Radcliffe
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Spell: Derpius Facieo

  6. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Kermit’s penis at attention?

  7. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    The pant legs only go up to the knees, and are held in place by rubber bands. You don’t want him to open that coat.

  8. Nicolas Cage
    pretty vacant
    Commented on this photo:

    surreal nic cage moment #7,438,694,200.

  9. Liev Schrieber Sasha
    Commented on this photo:

    Pay attention Tobey: This is how you DON’T look gay playing with your kids.

  10. Claire Danes Hasty Pudding Theatricals Woman Of The Year
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    I had NO IDEA that’s what “receiving Hasty Pudding” meant.

  11. Dita Von Teese Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Boy George, circa 1980

  12. Torrie Wilson Muscular Legs Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    I would not mess with somebody with bodyguards like that…

  13. Torrie Wilson Muscular Legs Alex Rodriguez
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is which again?

  14. Orlando Bloom Purple Sweatpants
    Commented on this photo:

    Pirates of The Sweatpants

  15. Armie Hammer Mugshot Marijuana Possession
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely the leader for 2012′s Douchiest Mugshot.

  16. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’d have guessed that Kermis dick is pink?

  17. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knows what secrets lie beneath the cushions of the La-Z-Boy? The Pajama knows!

  18. JoJo Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    So she did that that to herself to go host a sexy singles party? Was just covering herself in cat fur not an option?

  19. Vanessa Paradis Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s nice to see romance is not dead… I mean, wearing Johnny’s balls like that around her neck, just precious…

  20. Vanessa Paradis Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    If those eyes were any farther apart, she’s have gills.

  21. Hilary Duff Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Good golly, that’s adorable.

  22. Leilani Dowding Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I see she’s gone full Cynthia Nixon where it counts

  23. Bradley Cooper Moustache
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    People Magazine later admitted to an accounting error as the reason for Cooper’s Sexiest Man of the Year award.

  24. Orlando Bloom Purple Sweatpants
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Winning.

  25. Diane Kruger
    Commented on this photo:

    “Take Me Home Tonight” by Eddie Money started playing in my head when I saw this picture.

  26. JoJo Cleavage
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Hon’… you gotta cup the balls.

  27. Cynthia Nixon Bald Head
    Commented on this photo:

    If you look closely, you can see a few drops of unicorn blood on her lips.

  28. Claire Danes Hasty Pudding Theatricals Woman Of The Year
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    I appears to be vanilla pudding.

  29. Liev Schrieber Sasha
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    There was an uncomfortable moment later as everyone realized that boy was in fact NOT Liev’s son.

  30. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought she had ridiculous eyebrows and her left eye was wonky. Then I scrolled down and realized why nobody was commenting on those.

  31. Cynthia Nixon Bald Head
    pinhead
    Commented on this photo:

    needs more pins.

  32. Orlando Bloom Purple Sweatpants
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep, that dude had unprotected sex with that really hot woman.

  33. Bradley Cooper Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that the same haircut the Terminator had after he caught on fire?

  34. Orlando Bloom Purple Sweatpants
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s already won. So what does he care what people see him in.

  35. JoJo Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fly herpes fly!”

  36. Claire Danes Hasty Pudding Theatricals Woman Of The Year
    nick
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah, she’s receiving all right!

  37. Jessica Chastain See Through Dress
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you get motorboated by a man wearing makeup.

  38. Carey Hart
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe that Carey Hart is getting into it with Danny Glover. The dude’s like 70.

  39. Hilary Duff Pregnant Belly
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I sure hope she keeps the big titties.

  40. Diane Kruger
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    2012 is going to be big for the mosquito net look.

  41. Torrie Wilson Muscular Legs Alex Rodriguez
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When is he just going to move onto dudes?

  42. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he ran out of Luck.

    HA!

  43. Diane Kruger
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this woman have just the one expression?

  44. Torrie Wilson Muscular Legs Alex Rodriguez
    Commented on this photo:

    Just how much does that girls purse weigh?

  45. Georggia Salpa Cleavage Kermit
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve stared at this picture for an hour and I still don’t see that frog that you’re talking about.

  46. Nick Nolte Robe Hat
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Yesterday, The High Chaparral. Today, Pyjamas in Banana.

  47. Cynthia Nixon Bald Head
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I seem to recall the chick from Splice being much hotter… you know, before it turned into a dude.

    Oh, this IS an “after” picture.

  48. Vanessa Paradis Cleavage
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d give her half my money just to go away.

  49. Seal
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude. You’re single now. You don’t have to wear stupid-assed pants like that anymore.

  50. Bradley Cooper Moustache
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d have mistaken him for Sam Rockwell, but Sam Rockwell can actually act like he gives a shit.

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