The Crap I Missed – Thursday 5.3.12

May 3rd, 2012 // 363 Comments

Presented without commentary — Rihanna now has a brass knuckle phone.

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap I Missed where Sophie Monk doesn’t have to ask why to water suddenly got warm, Ali Lohan‘s been holding Lindsay’s coke this whole time (that’s the only explanation for this), Will.i.am brought us some douche from the future, and Paris Hilton is no longer the family’s biggest embarrassment.

“Hey, what’s Prince Charles been up to?” Funny you should ask voice in my head,

- Photo Boy (Yes, I’m aware I have a problem.)

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “yeaaHH baby..Im gone give you Gonorhea PEEING ins you…yeahhhh”

  2. Rita Rusic Bikini
    JPC
    Commented on this photo:

    Photoboy says “You don’t like my favorite tranny, Jennifer Nicole Lee? Fine, now your final fives will consist solely of grandmas.”

  3. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Those shoes are almost as gay as him. And those are some pretty gay shoes.

  4. January Jones Son Xander
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just upset ’cause the cabbie wouldn’t take the kid as a tip.

  5. Benji Madden
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to kick you ass so bad I’m in “actual pain”.

  6. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    BlackAndWhite.Minstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, *this* is the “Scream” they paid the 120 million for… because they got to kick him in the balls.

  7. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (guy from “Space Balls” that has alien rip out of chest)

    “…oh NO..not AGAIN!..”

  8. January Jones Son Xander
    BlackAndWhite.Minstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon lady, you gotta tell me the name of where we’re goin.

  9. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    Brian Blessed's Bastard Boy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Jay! How many games are you going to win this year?”

  10. Will.i.am Scarf Cuffed Pants Fingerless Gloves
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how I imagine the Caped Crusader goes bowling.

  11. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he training his penis to point?

  12. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what we will about Paris, she does know when to keep her mouth closed.

  13. Benji Madden
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    A
    CT
    UAL
    DOUCHE

  14. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Not trying to be supportive of this asshole, but 99% of the time when you see this kind of photo, the “pap” just yelled something really disgusting or offensive to try to get a reaction. Mission accomplished, I guess.

    • Jonas Grumby

      Yes, and celebs will also flip off paparazzi so photos can’t be sold to the major media outlets. Then, they sell their own posed photos to those big outlets and keep the cash themselves. The vulgarity can just be them preserving their market, whether or not they’ve been provoked.

      • achilles wrath

        Didn’t realise that! One day though they’ll flip off the wrong guy and get their face kicked in.

      • Ahhhh- that would be a fabulous thing to see! Can I watch? I normally don’t like violent shows, but to see Jay Cutler get his loser
        Butt kicked? I’m in

  15. Scarlett Johansson
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh shit, Angie is here. Get the limo, quick!”

  16. Scarlett Johansson
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    For crap’s sake, Scarlett . . sleeping with old man Penn won’t make you an A-lister, and holding a black kid won’t make you into Angelina Jolie or even Sandra Bullock.

  17. Bar Paly Cleavage Minidress Pain And Gain
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Bandage dresses are for chicks with bodies. YOU FAIL !

  18. Will.i.am Scarf Cuffed Pants Fingerless Gloves
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he is wearing the an ensemble from Kanye West’s “I’m a fashion genius” collection.

  19. Scarlett Johansson
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Angie and Brad really outdid themselves just giving her a 5 year old as a congratulations present.

  20. Benji Madden
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    So he finally realizes what his music does to people.

  21. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Objection!”

    “The defendant didn’t say hello to your mutha for me.”

  22. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    You want to know just how skinny this chick is ? She’s wearing the Kim Kardashian Butt Pads and still that’s all she’s got.

  23. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Marky Mark just rockin’ out to some serious Justin Bieber hip hop on his iPod.

  24. Prince Charles
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “You look like a cross between Harry Potter and Boy George…….I like that…..I like that a lot !”

  25. Prince Charles
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    A couple of sherries and this guy is all over the young girls.

  26. Rita Rusic Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, why is this woman “famous” ?

  27. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE LOOKS LIKE A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH TO OCTUPLETS.

  28. Benji Madden
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    This guys music sucks so why is he even famous. Oh yeah, the same reason Asslee Simpson is famous.

  29. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Mitch
    Commented on this photo:

    STOP IT ALREADY! I have no idea who this senior citizen is and I don’t care.

  30. Hilary Duff Huge Pregnant Breasts
    Mr Peabody
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice tracks.

  31. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there ever a moment when Paris Hilton doesn’t have a cell phone up to her ear ?

  32. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    ureye
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t like to make fun of this girl because I feel like she’s the only one who’s got real problems in that family.

  33. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    ureye
    Commented on this photo:

    wasnt chris brown in this same hotel with some hookers?

  34. Hilary Duff Huge Pregnant Breasts
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever “Post-baby Weight Loss, Keep the Big Boobs Diet” she is on, it needs to be recommended by the Food And Drug Administration for ALL women to follow.

  35. Christina Milian Cleavage
    ureye
    Commented on this photo:

    shes gorgeous but her chest looks kind of strange

    • The strange thing about her chest is she’s got breasts. That’s b-r-e-a-s-t-s. Also known as tits. Women have the nicest ones. You’ll learn that as you grow up.

  36. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh hell, it’s better than Lindsay Lohan… where’s my hand lotion….

  37. Rihanna Brass Knuckles Phone Case
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s painfully ghetto (and that statement has nothing to do with race).

  38. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes ‘avant-garde’ really does just mean ‘shit’.

  39. Rita Rusic Bikini
    That was a lob
    Commented on this photo:

    Like a Kate Gosselin I’d actually fuck (while stepping on her head)

  40. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t interrupt their march to oblivion, please.

  41. Bar Paly Cleavage Minidress Pain And Gain
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress offers access to untold riches.

  42. Will.i.am Scarf Cuffed Pants Fingerless Gloves
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Will.I.Am bike courier at your service.

  43. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Taken in a Costco parking lot as she tries to figure out which Grand Caravan is hers.

  44. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here: Chris’ reaction upon seeing a vagina for the first time.

  45. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Yuuukeee
    Commented on this photo:

    nice!

    better than kesha

  46. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    If you are listening to your own armpit, it’s time to close up the minibar.

  47. Christina Milian Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she tried the cinnamon trick with cocoa powder.

  48. Prince Charles
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Camilla thinks of you as the daughter she never had.

  49. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Kris Jenner tattooed onto his arm? It should be.

  50. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    So all the drones are busy in Afghanistan I guess.

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