The Crap I Missed – Thursday 5.3.12

May 3rd, 2012 // 363 Comments

Presented without commentary — Rihanna now has a brass knuckle phone.

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap I Missed where Sophie Monk doesn’t have to ask why to water suddenly got warm, Ali Lohan‘s been holding Lindsay’s coke this whole time (that’s the only explanation for this), Will.i.am brought us some douche from the future, and Paris Hilton is no longer the family’s biggest embarrassment.

“Hey, what’s Prince Charles been up to?” Funny you should ask voice in my head,

- Photo Boy (Yes, I’m aware I have a problem.)

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Brass Knuckles Phone Case
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, if it’s a white penis I just use these two fingers . . .”

  2. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Jay should have throw something at . . . oh wait, he would have missed.

  3. Rihanna Brass Knuckles Phone Case
    Commented on this photo:

    Never thought I’d see a girl signal “Anal or GTFO” but OK…

  4. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    Commented on this photo:

    His color pallet: Black and Blue!!
    (I’m here all week, folks)

  5. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does Ray J have Mrs. Huxtable on his arm?

  6. Bar Paly Cleavage Minidress Pain And Gain
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Hulk dress smash boobs!

  7. January Jones Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why I like to meet women someplace where they don’t have a ton of makeup on. Ugh.

  8. January Jones Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Great… she taught him the ice queen look…

  9. Bar Paly Cleavage Minidress Pain And Gain
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Ms. Love Hewitt,

    Thanks for the dress. I made a few alterations. You like?

    Love,
    Bar Paly

  10. Christina Milian Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Cool. Someone still has a Blackberry!

  11. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl, I only have a steady stream for you…

  12. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. Just be glad anyone wants to take a picture of your boring, jerk face.

  13. Hilary Duff Huge Pregnant Breasts
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I like her as a MILF, although I feel like she went almost straight from “oh, shit, she’s how old?” to MILF.

  14. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    “That plane? You want me to board that plane and take it back? For America? Got it!”

  15. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Looked like Anne Hathaway’s younger sister for a second.. Although to be fair, Ali probably wishes Anne WAS her older sister..

  16. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    The awkward moment when Maria Menounos decides to fire her agent.

  17. Rihanna Brass Knuckles Phone Case
    AAPL made me rich!
    Commented on this photo:

    “This much talent.. “

  18. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    You really can’t shake those Jane Fonda/old woman sex images, can you, Photo Boy?

  19. Mark Wahlberg Shirtless Hotel Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ova there, Tommy. Your mom is ova dere… Say hi to her for me!”

  20. Rihanna Brass Knuckles Phone Case
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of an ironic phone for a victim of domestic violence.

  21. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate this entire fucking planet almost entirely due to this picture.

  22. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    ASL
    Commented on this photo:

    I love you t–Oh.

  23. Benji Madden
    SFfan
    Commented on this photo:

    Q: What’s the difference between “pain” and “actual pain”?
    A: None, “actual” is always redundant.

  24. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck adopting from Africa…

    RUN!

  25. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    hank
    Commented on this photo:

    mud shark. yuk

  26. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    How is it that a woman we joked hadn’t eaten in months has a bigger ass than Pippa?

  27. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pants shithead!

  28. January Jones Son Xander
    Lunch
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuckin Xander

  29. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, Rita is definitely rusty so lets kick her off the site and bring in someone else.

  30. Prince Charles
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re what they call a lezzzbian, aren’t you? I love lezzzzbians…

  31. January Jones Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor little bastard.

  32. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris, take a good look at the person in front of you… This is your future, only with more herpes….

  33. Will.i.am Scarf Cuffed Pants Fingerless Gloves
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice gloves shithead!

  34. Benji Madden
    Flame on
    Commented on this photo:

    in the ass

  35. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see if you can make yourself look as shitty as possible.

    DONE!

  36. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a Starmaker baby…

  37. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If you pee on a girl while in a pool, does it count?

  38. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone is very happy they set a Guiness World Record for Most Uselessness on One Set.

  39. Ali Lohan Butt Ass Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s serious Mom Ass going on

  40. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you want, but you have to admit that “let me take a leak on you, record it, leak it and your entire family will be millionaires,” is a far better pickup line than 99% of us have.

  41. Hilary Duff Huge Pregnant Breasts
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her chest got as big as Kim’s ass.

  42. Paris Hilton Kathy Hilton Maria Menounos Kim Richards
    Commented on this photo:

    Pack of fuckin retards.

  43. Chris Brown Crotch Grab Ron English
    Commented on this photo:

    Great idea giving him a toy line. I can’t think of anybody more deserving of being marketed to children. Let me guess… is the first product, “My Little Rape Kit”?

  44. Benji Madden
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy could make millions by offering to let people punch him in the face for a nickel.

  45. Jay Cutler Middle Finger Kristin Cavallari
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Chicago? I thought he was a fudge Packer.

  46. Scarlett Johansson
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d like to thank the Academy for this award….”

  47. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck you Photo Boy…just fuck you!

  48. January Jones Son Xander
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s his child seat? Lock da bitch up!

  49. Benji Madden
    BlackAndWhite.Minstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll save you the time. The hidden word is CUNT

  50. Sophie Monk Topless Rose Petals Pool Ray J
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn. I didn’t mind him ruining Kim Kardashian. I didn’t mind him ruining Whitney Houston. But this…. this is just going too goddamn far.

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