“And take it down to Wealthy Elderly Pervert’s Pose. Exhale. Gaze into $1500/hr.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap I Missed which you’ve probably already noticed isn’t the usual collection of titties and buffoonery. Except it sort of is, because this entire gallery is the odd shapes that make up Russell Simmons‘ body alternating with his indentured servant “girlfriend,” who, according to the photo agency, is German model Hanna Nitsche. See? And you guys are always saying these nice young ladies are Russian prostitutes.
That’s racist,
- Photo Boy
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Say, you are a fine lookin white woman, if you are growing pubic hair I’ll take you!
Spam Alert! Go to the video and get hit with a crap ad for work-at-home-and-get-rich and when you try to leave the page there’s a pop-up that defies my ad/pop-up blocker. So fuck you to the asshole who posted this.
What? Oh no…just stretching. Really. Not trying to look at your ass.
Looks like the Viagra hasn’t kicked in yet.
This ‘relationship’ is as ludicrous as it is repellent . . .
Busted….especially for Miami.
Get your shit together, Russell
Black Quasimodo?
Blackimofo
i love me some chicago heartburn…especially when it looks as tasty as that.
First and mehhh
If he can bend like that, why is he even wasting money on the hookers?
Cuz he can, bubba. Cuz he can
It’s kinda like mowing my lawn. I can do it, but I’d rather pay a professional. It frees me up for all the volunteer work I do with orphans and the elderly.
mmmmmm RIBS! :-P
Hey look, it’s one of the female commenters in the red swimsuit.
Looks like Russell is checking out what is in the red swimsuit.
“Do Balki!”
Lol! I was just going to ask where cussan Larry was.
It’s official. The crap we missed turned in to…. just crap.
Silverback
Man I HATE Russel Simmons, and I don’t even know what he’s famous for. I wonder why? (Sigh) I must be a racist.
He’s that guy that’s famous for being an ugly dipshit that wears baseball caps with 3 piece suits everywhere he goes, and pays German Hookers to make pretend they’re his girlfriends.
Most racists are idiots first. So you do show the traits. Any jackass that knows music or comedy knows who Russell or his brother is. But like I said… You do show the traits. Idiot!
Toothface.
It’s really just a simple math : 55 yrs old + $340 Million = smokin’ hot 27 yr. old model
Damn, Amber Rose, put your clothes back on, girl!
This. Mother. Fucker.
Very discreet
Buddha told me to bang this like a dirty dog…so I may find my compassion.
She models from the neck down.
I hope everyone is happy with their end of the transaction.
She’s a pro at handling accounts receivable, if you know what I mean. *wink, wink*
That stomach is growing at an alarming rate…from frame to frame it grows like a terrible beast.
So you fund a clothing line, get a bunch of hip designers to work for you….and then start importing Ukrainian, Russian and Eastern European Models who will have to rely on you for their green card.
I wish I had come up with that business plan.
Ew…. butterface
Cracks me up how he is so pro-black all the time when he speaks but 99.9999999% of the women he is with are not black, and 98% of them are usually white. lol
This man is such a goddamn clown and a hypocrite I can’t take anything he does or says seriously.
a couple hundred million in the bank, an endless parade of willing young poon, but I’m sure he can’t make it through another day without the love and support of you, el jefe.
It’s easy to judge when you’re jealous, and a racist, and could be bought and sold a trillion times by the guy of whom you are jealous. “Pro-black”? That has to be the most ignorant thing I’ve read in a while, and I read things on the internet!
Spell “red”.
L-S-T-R.
Or however Beetlejuice spells it.
Indeed, zee price is $1000 U.S. But you must wait until zee negro is done.
Can’t blame a guy for going for the hottest girl he can find. It’s hard enough to get ANY girl, if you can somehow convince a white girl to be your boyfriend, that’s considered a jackpot. The thing I’m wondering is what she sees in him? Money? Personality? Can’t be looks…
er… Girlfriend, my mistake.
The rare dog-faced stork appears on a Miami beach.
I have no idea what you are talking about. 22 year old German models are often attracted to 55 year old American black men. This has nothing to do with his $340 million net worth.
Love cape
“Kim Kardashian Flaunts Sexy Beach Body” (pictured on left)
that was a nice ass.
WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE HER FACE ??!!
GOO!!
Grandpa is giving his niece a kiss. How lovely.
Dang hillbillies.
She is practicing the “de-facto settlement” pose where she has both of Russell’s balls between the finger and the thumb.
Did Bruce Willis give Russell Simmons the ok to bang his daughter?
Am I the only one picturing sir David Attenborough popping up behind her, going: “An astonishing site that nature sometimes gives us a glimpse of. Real, natural breasts. A rarer and rarer occurrence in our society.”
Ahhhh, so that’s why they call it a vertical smile!
cute little implants… i hate it when chiks get implants that are sensible…i like them ridiculus
Fuck you guys there’s nothing wrong with her face :p
I think she’s quite pretty….on the outside.
Makes you wonder what demons are on the inside….horrible things that eventually compelled her to be on Miami Beach at Russell Simmon’s side.
[img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4nm6fvh0a1qbko0io1_1280.jpg[/img]
He did the same thing to the big girl in the pink when she walked by.
I’d eat it.
Anyone else notice she looks like she’s wearing glitter?
a little more…a little more…OK now I can reach your wallet
old fart