The Crap I Missed – Monday 10.10.11

October 10th, 2011 // 335 Comments

“Aw, ya know, ya just fry one up in bacon, some butter fat, maybe a little more bacon, then some butter fat. Mostly, I just dip ‘em right out of the car seat in some ketchup.”

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap I Missed where the important thing is I got the Final Five right. Today we’ve got celebrities at the most revelatory moments in their life: Arnold Schwarzenegger realizing some of those maids might not be illegal and can sue for child support, Max Liron realizing Jordan Bratman is his dad and not just a really, really homely mole-nanny, Paul McCartney realizing he just did it again – “Bloody hell!” – and Miley Cyrus at the exact moment she realized her grand-pappy kept a whole outhouse full of these things for yard work and the such.

Photo Boy always cuts the crust you way you like it, I know,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

superficial

  1. Kevin Federline
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    What eats shoots and never really leaves?

  2. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet her top says “Pecs that erect!”

  3. Frank Burns

    Does this mean he’s given up on his dance career?

  4. Gerard Depardieu
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve got wood!”

  5. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    azgirlgoneeast
    Commented on this photo:

    this is very endearing, i’m not a huge miley fan, but i can see the warmth and compassion in this photo!

  6. Katie Price
    azgirlgoneeast
    Commented on this photo:

    what clothing???……

  7. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    azgirlgoneeast
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks like a horny toad

  8. Demi Lovato
    yoyoblack
    Commented on this photo:

    pppfftt, choo don know ne ese

  9. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like she means it.

  10. Kevin Federline
    WE have a rough problem
    Commented on this photo:

    “real pimp has curves”

  11. Katie Price
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess who’s been invited to address the Oxford Union?
    “That this House will in no circumstances wear trousers.”

  12. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Tuppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Paul McCartney. Pulling the exact same face for the cameras since 1964…

  13. Kevin Federline
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! He finally delivered that baby? Seems like he was pregnant for-ever!

  14. Jessica Alba
    Makes Sense
    Commented on this photo:

    Based on the size ratio of her head to her body, no wonder she’s such a bimbo.

  15. Jessica Simpson
    DiegoAD
    Commented on this photo:

    “These. These are why I’m still relevant.”

  16. Jessica Simpson
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “How ’bout now? Can ya see down ‘em now?”

  17. Katie Price
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    “You can have anything…for a Price”. Now exclusively at K-Mart.

  18. Kevin Bacon RIPD
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    You wouldn’t eat a sausage or a bacon slice if you knew how they were made.

  19. Gerard Depardieu
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sacrebleu! Zis is not chocolate!”

  20. Kevin Federline
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s filled with fried chicken.

  21. Charlie Sheen
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty dark for the Simpsons

  22. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    “Quaaaaiid!”

  23. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Ninjela
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks EXACTLY like the dramatic chipmunk.

  24. Kevin Bacon RIPD
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “See, imagine this is a protractor. And this, this right here is six degrees. And *I’m* Kevin Bacon, so … yeah, I don’t understand it either.”

  25. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why, no I’ve never heard ‘Instant Karma’…”

  26. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, yes, I am one of the few pretty, white, rich ladies that do show up here every few months. But no, I am not going to adopt you and take to out of this freaking hell hole.”

  27. Hugh Jackman
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    They must have the same trainer

  28. Katie Price
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here is Miss Price modeling the “Back to School” line of outfits for girls ages 12-15.

  29. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Fester
    Commented on this photo:

    Thanks Arnold. Usually we have to wait until the DUI to see a photo like this.

  30. Gerard Depardieu
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Last week I was pissin on a plane and this week you’re giving me an award, I love show business.

  31. Jayde Nicole
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just here to show off my boobs, if you got any questions, ask the woman behind me.

  32. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Fester
    Commented on this photo:

    Congrats Sir Paul. Hopefully those stories his last wife told about him being an ogre don’t have a leg to stand on..

  33. Sandra Bullock
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell is a “PR baby” ?

    • Deryn

      It is a phrase that made me laugh.

    • tinklepants

      @ Bonky: “Africa! Come for the civil unrest, stay for the PR babies!” is how the line went, I think. It’s from a comments of the week a few months ago, IIRC.

    • Snack pack

      “PR” = Public Relations.
      I’ve also heard PO Baby.
      Where “PO” = Photo Op.

      • Richard McBeef

        it’s to convince the general public that ol’ Sandra isn’t a fucking nazi despite the fact her ex husband is. i’m not fooled.

  34. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    …and this is your prostate on steroids

  35. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Waiting for the McFeely tie-knot verdict.

  36. Sandra Bullock
    Fester
    Commented on this photo:

    As Somali pirates go he might be a little on the small side but he’s acquired some top shelf booty.

  37. Hugh Jackman
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Why did he have to get insanely buff to make a film that is 99% CGI ?.

  38. Jordan Bratman Max Liron
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Well … he got her eyes. And her hair. Maybe that’s something.

  39. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    Fester
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t object to women having tats, just really crappy tats. If you’re not going to get something worthwhile why bother?

  40. Kevin Federline
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like any other fat dad at K-Mart., except he got to fuck Britney Spears when she was hot, so deal with that, losers.

  41. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    Arnold: “In hindsight I probably shouldn’t have licked that second toad…”

  42. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he uses the same hair dye as Regis. And circus clowns.

    • Valley of the Gun

      I know what you mean, and they forgot to do his eyebrows. Do you think, he’s really grey all over?

  43. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure he checked the closet for left and right shoes on this one.

  44. Kevin Bacon RIPD
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    “A recently slain cop joins a team of undead police officers working for the Rest in Peace Department and tries to find the man who murdered him.” Oh, brother. I’m so over the undead.

  45. Demi Lovato
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Look like it’s back to the depressive phase.

  46. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s only so much she can do on her own. I want to go to Haiti and hug them too.

  47. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    I need to wipe my tears….off her back…

  48. Jessica Alba
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen her legs closed for business.

  49. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    “All I can think of now is getting a McRib at McDonalds.”

  50. Jordan Bratman Max Liron
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, That’s the last time I’m letting him watch Keeping up with the Kardashians.

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