The Crap I Missed – Monday 10.10.11

October 10th, 2011 // 335 Comments

“Aw, ya know, ya just fry one up in bacon, some butter fat, maybe a little more bacon, then some butter fat. Mostly, I just dip ‘em right out of the car seat in some ketchup.”

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap I Missed where the important thing is I got the Final Five right. Today we’ve got celebrities at the most revelatory moments in their life: Arnold Schwarzenegger realizing some of those maids might not be illegal and can sue for child support, Max Liron realizing Jordan Bratman is his dad and not just a really, really homely mole-nanny, Paul McCartney realizing he just did it again – “Bloody hell!” – and Miley Cyrus at the exact moment she realized her grand-pappy kept a whole outhouse full of these things for yard work and the such.

Photo Boy always cuts the crust you way you like it, I know,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

superficial

  1. Kevin Federline
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Stop breeding now. We’ve got more than enough of your DNA spread all over CA.

  2. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s kinda cute if she keeps her eyes and her mouth closed.

    *immediately kills self for thinking that*

  3. Katie Price
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She markets hard.

  4. Kevin Federline
    Commented on this photo:

    We keep hearing about his “other” babies but we never see them. I’ll be the first to say it: he ate them…

  5. Jessica Alba
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Boots with strapless sundress…..hmmmmm.

  6. Katie Price
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Be sure and rinse her out really well after banging her but before deflating her.

  7. Katie Price
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you will but she can still pour enough make up to look good…

  8. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Money is the only reason any woman will have sex with that.

    • Richard McBeef

      Yes, technically “continued employment” translates as money.

    • Valley of the Gun

      He was once really hot, back in his heyday.

      • Cock Dr

        He had a fabulous backside but he was always a buttaface. Now he has become an orange sagging nightmare.
        I am inspired now for the Halloween jack-o-lantern carving coming later this month.

  9. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    pdan
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, wait…it IS a tumah?”

  10. Jordan Bratman Max Liron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ahhhhhh I see. I’m supposed to ride on the BACK of the mole person… Gotcha. Thanks”

  11. Gerard Depardieu
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “I pees on zis award! Non, that iz not a metaphor. It was an accident zis time, though..”

  12. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Two legged gold diggers are a lot tougher to catch than one legged ones.

  13. Jessica Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, what a trooper. When a fan asks he to have her breast nipple-autograph her photo, Jessica does not disappoint.

  14. Kevin Bacon RIPD
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t imagine being RIPD enough to watch that shit.

  15. Demi Lovato
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck I hope she got that disease from Hudgens, sexually.

  16. Jessica Simpson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one woman who used her DDs and not much else to obtain complete financial security.

  17. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t say anything bad, she actually looks genuine here.

  18. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this photo for one reason: I get to imagine the face his ex-wife made when she saw it… Priceless….

    • Deryn

      My favorite part was reading in an article that he, his new wife, and his flower-girl-daughter Beatrice left the wedding together to go to the reception. I imagine Heather’s head exploded after that.

  19. Demi Lovato
    Ruth
    Commented on this photo:

    She knows she should only get some water, but that track pant string in luring her back for more.

  20. Jayde Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    So Brody Jenner left this for Avril Levine… Good move. Maybe next he can stop drinking water and start drinking rat poison…

  21. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    drunkrussian
    Commented on this photo:

    this is the last expression you see before he rips your limbs off.

  22. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Tsavo
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I can get this fart out without anyone noticing.

  23. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Gold digger with mob ties, this should end well…

    • BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

      She’s not a digger, she’s a Shevell

    • Venom

      He is a billionaire and she is not, so not possible.
      Her net worth is estimated at $35 million and even if she got all of her family’s money and it was not split up and divided amongst other people and estate tax applied and so on, she would still be worth under $400 million.

  24. Sandra Bullock
    Commented on this photo:

    I said it before and I’ll say it again: If that baby gave me that “I’ll cut you” face, I would scream like a little girl…

  25. Jessica Simpson
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Introducing the new Big Girl Panties line, available only at Macy’s

  26. Sandra Bullock
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sandra makes an awesome pirate queen.

  27. Demi Lovato
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a track string… That’s the end of her tampon. Pray with me now.

  28. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    “No tengas miedo al mero, las perras!”

  29. Sandra Bullock
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    A Somalian pirate.
    Really Sandra?

  30. Jordan Bratman Max Liron
    Commented on this photo:

    All…my…friends…have a mole rider

  31. Katie Price
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    The blouse is so she doesn’t look entirely, completely, thoroughly slutty. Amirite?

  32. Demi Lovato
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    She went from high priced call girl in the last photo we saw of her to cleaning lady overnight.
    No Bueno Lovato.

  33. Jessica Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    *whispers* “It’s DiGiorno’s, y’all…”

  34. gogo

    FIRSSSSST bitches??

  35. Jessica Alba
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like the perfect day for fist-pumping in the park

  36. Paul McCartney Nancy Shevell
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sloth love Pippa!”

  37. Charlie Sheen
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s the gold teeth? Where’s the hooker entourage? Where’s the posse of lawyers? Where is the mountain of cocaine and rocks of crack?

  38. Kevin Federline
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Time to work on losing that baby weight!

  39. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    DKNY
    Commented on this photo:

    Hopefully she’s there to actually contribute, and not just make herself feel good.

  40. Carolyn

    god he’s a pig.

  41. Jayde Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have one helluva mole on her back.

  42. Hugh Jackman
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    His upper body is impressive.
    This man continues to puzzle me.

  43. Gerard Depardieu
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    Gerard Depardieu winning the “light” prize… hahahahaha!

  44. Jennifer Nicole Lee Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is she
    and
    What’s her butt say?

  45. Jessica Alba
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone must have asked where her career was.

  46. Miley Cyrus Haiti
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The little Haitian boy is confused yet decides to accept the Great Pumpkinhead’s embrace, hoping that he’ll get a couple snack sized Snickers bars out of the transaction.

  47. Kevin Federline
    Commented on this photo:

    They carry two of these; this one is for nachos.

  48. Jessica Simpson
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    “did you say all you can eat?”

  49. Sandra Bullock
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitch betta have my booty…”

  50. Charlie Sheen
    TRON
    Commented on this photo:

    The only scary thing about this costume is that companies think people are still interested in Charlie Sheen.

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