The Church of Scientology is Under Investigation for Slave Labor

February 7th, 2011 // 59 Comments

Found one.

In a 28-page interview to be published in The New Yorker, director Paul Haggis, who recently severed ties with Scientology, reveals the church is under investigation by the FBI for “human trafficking.” More specifically, slave labor which I’m going to assume involves official documentation of Tom Cruise‘s secret fortress that until now has only been referred to in hushed whispers as “Butt Island.” Via Gawker:

The laws regarding trafficking were built largely around forced prostitution, but they also pertain to slave labor. Under federal law, slavery is defined, in part, by the use of coercion, torture, starvation, imprisonment, threats, and psychological abuse. The California penal code lists several indicators that someone may be a victim of human trafficking: signs of trauma or fatigue; being afraid or unable to talk, because of censorship by others or security measures that prevent communication with others; working in one place without the freedom to move about; owing a debt to one’s employer; and not having control over identification documents. Those conditions echo the testimony of many former Sea Org members…

For anyone even remotely familiar with Scientology, all of this sounds about right. For those of you not familiar, basically it explains how a baby that looks like Tom Cruise fell out of Katie Holmes, and why he keeps calling her “Toby.”

I may have gone too far with this…

Photos: WENN


  1. Katie the Robot in pic 4.

  2. camparito

    ugly shoes!

  3. nothing will come of it. if there’s one thing organized religions have it’s the money to buy off law

  4. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Suri is already as big as Tom

  5. RoboZombie

    YES! But they have an army of psychotic lawyers…

  6. OMG! It’s Katie Kinte! It looks like her ankles are healing nicely!

  7. ChiChi

    About time!!!! Time to buy stock in The New Yorker. Sales will go through the roof!

  8. Mandy

    I dislike Tom Cruise as much as the next guy.. But it bugs me when everyone relates every bad thing in Scientology directly to him. The Vatican just had leaked documents where they urged people not to report sexual abuse by bishops, but we don’t connect every Catholic celebrity to that issue. It’s kind of annoying.

    • RoboZombie

      No one Catholic celeb has as much influence over their Church as Capt. Freakshow does over the Co$. He’s practically a god to those psychos.
      The closest the Catholics have is Mel Gibson.

      • LA

        Um, no. The Catholics do not “have” Mel Gibson. He is not a Catholic- he started his own church that is not recognized by the Catholic Church. And even if he was a Catholic, we wouldn’t care much. Catholocism isn’t about celebrity at all. Now Scientology- that’s a different story. Tommy boy is the number two man in the “church,” and is an extremely influential church leader. He does have control over a lot of this, and that’s why he’s mentioned when this stuff comes up .

    • Jennyjenjen

      Tom Cruise puts himself out there, didn’t you see the video he made for Scientology, he is practically their pope.

    • Anonymous

      You do realize this is a classic “OSA” (Scientology’s “Office of Special Affairs) technique – deflect criticism away from Scientology and onto Christianity?

      Yes they do have groups of people in Scientology who spend hours finding negative posts on Scientology and derailing them.

      You might be OSA – but if you’re not – just letting you know you’re doing their job for them.

  9. I wonder why they never had any other kids yet?

    • The sperm donor (my money is on cousin Bill) probably had second thoughts.

    • Jade Fox

      Same reason why Nicole Kidman had zero kids for him. That whole Scientology torturous natural childbirth thing has got to have something to do with her decision. I wonder if he’ll do the whole “No pain meds” thing if he has to undergo surgery? Probably not.

  10. Ksurfiws

    You misspelled “Church”
    Here…let me help.


  11. jojo

    What a garish purse on wheels. Katie must need it when the shame becomes to much to carry.

  12. Wait, I didn’t know you get slaves too…um…Scientology is starting to sound pretty rad, guys.

  13. jumpin_j

    I think Frank Zappa said you can be cured of these ills by going to the Church Of St. Alphonzo.

  14. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never seen a more unhappy person. She never smiles any more. Poor Katie.

    • Anybody who sells their soul to the devil gets no sympathy from me. And she took an innocent child there, too, so screw her. Did you know she only had a contract for one year at first? She voluntarily signed on for five more years, starting with the “wedding” (they’re most likely not legally married). And the only thing she ever fought for was more money. What’s that saying again, if you marry for money, you wind up really earning it? Sounds about right to me.

  15. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes
    Ron Mexico
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Cruise told me he likes it when Katie ramrods his bottom with a broom.

  16. jill

    what a low down bunch of people with that toby mess.. how low down can you get?

  17. Smiley

    Okay what’s with the stoller?? That kid is how old now?? Why do they keep hauling her around like she’s an infant? And that stoller looks way too small for her anyway. Or maybe it’s for Tommy? In another month or so I’m sure the kid will have outgrown him…

  18. Roughy

    Unless you have proof celebs are part of the slave labor camp, this is a non-story. Who cares about the little people? Don’t the FBI have anything better to do?

  19. GravyLeg

    Say what you will about Pete Wentz but Tom Cruise PERFECTED the “asshole carry” technique.

  20. jassntas

    EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING in that list is what they do!!!!!

    If you become a scientologist, they put you in a room for days and you cant leave, you have to work for them and cant leave, they dont feed you, they held you against your will, There are many stories of people that escaped, people that are EX-scientologists that can tell you about it,

    EVERY SINGLE THING In that list happens, WHY are they being investigated and not ARRESTED?????

  21. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Naww – I

  22. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Nawww I love Suri!

  23. Eatmycookie






  24. Ohhhh It’s well known that Tom Cruise isn’t a kid anymore!!! He’s short and all but FBI C’mon now!!! Go pick on someone your own size!!!

    • Xenu's Revenge

      Louanne is Louanne Lee a Scientology Secret Police (OSA) member and she has been spamming with copy and past on many sites.

      RE: Louanne: Louanne is clearly a Scientology member with an ax to grind. She used the word FAIL and that is Scientology talk WIN vs FAIL. I am so glad she let everyone know that! Kind of the honest response you would expect. from a cult. Look up the Lisa McPherson autopsy photos and see what they did to that poor girl. They say they have the answers and Scientology works!!! Yeah except for people that have been in for 30 years and then leave mad as hell!. Yeah except for L Ron’s Hubbard’s son Quentin who killed himself to get away from his crazy father. Or the current thug running the cults niece Jenna Miscavige who is speaking out. There are thousands of ex members now talking.
      Google: Xenu!!!!!!! Also their is audio of LRH blasting black people and asians! He was a total racist too.
      Louanne, you sound like a disgruntled hate filled loon, your cult and the evil midget that runs it are goooooooing Dooooown!

  25. Louanne

    This article is another thinly veiled tabloid piece repeating old and new rumors from people with an axe to grind with the Church of Scientology. The New Yorker author Lawrence Wright could not come up with a single line that has not been discarded as the work of fanatic anti-religionists a long time ago. This piece actually sheds a new light on him as a researcher and writer. How much does his obvious hate against religion taint his judgment? This piece has been written by someone with a deep-set hatred against religion and spirituality. Just like the Hollywood dude Haggis, who openly confesses that he makes a living putting his personal life traumata in movie scripts, Lawrence Wright lives his anti-religious hatred in writing one-track minded articles and books. The New Yorker, putting on tabloid colors for a moment, has allowed him to air his therapy sessions and that is their choice but one really has to ask: I don’t really want to waste my time reading something like this.

    • Shell

      Louanne…all creators, including writers, musicians, artis, etc draw upon personal life experiences for their work. He is a fucking director, not a lawmaker or Judge. And Scientilogy is mired in underhanded douchebaggery, just like all the rest of the religions. The difference is that this time there are secular bodies of power to supress and root out such douchebaggery before it gets out of control, like Mecca or The Vatican. To someone like Lawrence Wright, and I am guessing this is how he possibly sees this, Scientology is the Bernie Madoff of faith. Both require the same level scrutiny and jail time.

  26. becki

    How orange is he?!

  27. Altea

    Nice try “New York Times” advertising agency.

  28. wim

    why do you think tommy adopted a black son, folks?

  29. Sharon

    No woman has ever had a baby while being married to Tom Cruise.. hmmm makes one wonder doesn’t it.

  30. Captain Slappy

    The Tom Cruise is unhappy with you. By the power of GreySkull…..he shall He-Manly Skull-Fuck THEE! TOM CRUISE SMASH PUNY COMMENTERS!

  31. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes
    Dorian Gray
    Commented on this photo:

    The toy has more alive looking eyes than she does.

  32. Daniel


  33. werd

    hopefully they all drink the fucking punch and we can stop hearing about this fruity little club that took chef away from south park

  34. Gary B

    Scientology makes Al-Queada and the rest of the fundamentalist Islamic Terror psychos look sane in comparison.

  35. The Co$ makes Al-Queda and the rest of the Islamic Fundamentalists look like a sane religion in comparison. At least they do not fear Xenu.

  36. Hmmmmm


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