The 2011 Billboard Music Awards

And here’s the rest of The 2011 Billboard Music Awards that doesn’t involve Britney Spears dancing with walking in the same general vicinity as Rihanna, or Justin Bieber dooming Selena Gomez to a life of forever hiding in the shadows or however teens describe not being able to go to the mall these days. Purgatory? Who fucking knows? I honestly don’t understand a single thing these kids say anymore. It’s all mucus plugs and dilated cervices. In my day, all we had to entertain ourselves was marijuana and Game Boy, and we liked it.

Photos: Getty