The 2011 Billboard Music Awards

May 23rd, 2011 // 183 Comments

And here’s the rest of The 2011 Billboard Music Awards that doesn’t involve Britney Spears dancing with walking in the same general vicinity as Rihanna, or Justin Bieber dooming Selena Gomez to a life of forever hiding in the shadows or however teens describe not being able to go to the mall these days. Purgatory? Who fucking knows? I honestly don’t understand a single thing these kids say anymore. It’s all mucus plugs and dilated cervices. In my day, all we had to entertain ourselves was marijuana and Game Boy, and we liked it.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Queequeg
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm…all singers.

    What would they do without digital reprocessors?

  2. Fergie Billboard Music Awards 20011
    Dr. Hufurrrrr
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew Fergie had a hot sister!

  3. Nicki Minaj Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bubble butt……but is it real?

  4. Nicki Minaj Billboard Music Awards 2011
    TigerGD
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow!

  5. Kelly Rowland Billboard Music Awards 20011
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure what she’s selling, but I’d be happy to take a look at her brochure.

  6. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Congrats Nicole on your escape from the Scientology boat. Well done.

  7. Nicki Minaj Billboard Music Awards 2011
    DOucHe BaGELs
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be depressing that when it’s your turn to take a picture they tell you to face the wall.

  8. Kelly Rowland Billboard Music Awards 20011
    RICHIE
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s sooo hot!

  9. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Dr. Hufurrrrr
    Commented on this photo:

    [ ] Attractive
    [X] Ten pounds of sausage in a five pound wrapper.

  10. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Commented on this photo:

    Judging by the picture before this one, I can guess who she’ll get her hands on next. SKATE AWAY, APOLLO!!!

  11. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    wow
    Commented on this photo:

    mmmm… pancakes……

  12. Nicki Minaj Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey where’s that bright pink dildo she likes to wave around? The awards committee didn’t go for that performance prop?

  13. Fergie Billboard Music Awards 20011
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That frock is pretty damned strange looking.
    Eh, it’s Fergie. Chicks with dicks do things differently.

  14. Kelly Rowland Beyonce Michelle Williams Billboard Music Awards 20011
    RICHIE
    Commented on this photo:

    the trifeca of hotness!

  15. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    TigerGD
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the curves of a brick wall. I’m deleting my I Am T-Pain app!

  16. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick looks frumpy no matter how much bling she wears.

  17. Deacon Jones

    Is that black chick’s ass in the pink wig even real??

    I’d hit it, with a clothespin on my nose.

  18. Jason Trawick Britney Spears Billboard Music Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s the minder….a man who’s next few years will be lucrative but also very difficult.
    When her cash creation powers are finally extinguished he will dump her.

  19. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    Her reaction after seeing Kesha in that dress.

  20. Kelly Rowland Billboard Music Awards 20011
    Twizlah
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly Rowland for the win!

  21. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a figure like a refridgerator.

  22. Kelly Rowland Billboard Music Awards 20011
    Maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks beautiful… Everyone else looks like they are trying way too hard.

  23. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    123
    Commented on this photo:

    WHY

  24. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Throjo
    Commented on this photo:

    Were they giving out Billboard Forehead awards too?

  25. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards 2011
    ME!
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE’S SO PRETTY!

  26. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep, she’s getting ultra fat. Those straps are made to keep her weight under control.

  27. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards 2011
    ME!
    Commented on this photo:

    Porcelain Doll!!

  28. Joe Jonas Billboard Music Awards 2011
    ME!
    Commented on this photo:

    GAY!!!

  29. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Commented on this photo:

    …and this dress I call the “nightmare catcher”.

  30. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Commented on this photo:

    If I hadn’t seen Courtney Love from this same angle, I’d have something really mean to say.

  31. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Commented on this photo:

    From the thumbnail, I thought that was David Spade.

  32. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Sangriatic
    Commented on this photo:

    I know she’s really trying here but I looked at her face and the first thing that popped into my head was: “There is no Dana, only Zuuuuuul!”

  33. Fergie Billboard Music Awards 20011
    Sangriatic
    Commented on this photo:

    Could totally pass for a woman…

  34. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards 2011
    sprezzatura
    Commented on this photo:

    God this broad…why does she always squint like that? Is that her “I’m so hot” face?

  35. I’m so sick of seeing girls looking like slutty clown. The giant fake asses, pink wigs, glitter and trash clothes have got to go. Whatever happened to pretty hair and makeup and looking sexy w/o being trashy?

  36. Bret Michaels Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo looks exactly the same as all of his photos.

  37. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    sprezzatura
    Commented on this photo:

    Flapjacks!

  38. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s wearing more make up than she is. Gross.

  39. Ke$sh Billboard Music Awards 2011
    sprezzatura
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow she is busted and her figure is horrendous. She makes Lady Gaga look hot. All that sparkly crap just proves you can’t polish a turd.

  40. Rihanna Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Sangriatic
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you’ve been pigeon-holed when you turn up to the BMAs with fire-engine red hair. wearing a white pants-suit cut to the waist and the first words out of their mouths are “Chris Brown..”

  41. Nicki Minaj Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, a wig with roots. That’s a new look.

  42. Nicole Kidman Keith Urban Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Sangriatic
    Commented on this photo:

    How do they always manage to look like a couple of video store standees?

  43. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    Queequeg
    Commented on this photo:

    All singers.

    They’d be waiting tables if not for Autotune.

  44. DKNY

    Kelly Rowland is hotter than she used to be.

  45. Beyonce Billboard Music Awards 2011
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    was expecting to see a doo doo bucket under her

  46. clearly billboard’s only interest is in the homosexual crowd. perhaps they were on to something in ‘eating raoul’, about taking all the money gays apparently have that the rest of us don’t?

    god forbid they cater at all to good ol dad who actually pay the fuckin itunes bills

  47. Taylor Swift Billboard Music Awards 2011
    CptCreep
    Commented on this photo:

    She asked me out once but I turned her down. I figured we’d eventually break up and it would be too difficult for her to write a song with Astroglide, a donkey, and jumper cables. For once, I wasn’t thinking about me…

  48. Nicki Minaj Billboard Music Awards 2011
    sexyman48
    Commented on this photo:

    People are famous for just having a big ass they don’t even bother looking at the camera anymore.

  49. Randy Jackson Billboard Music Awards 2011
    taz
    Commented on this photo:

    Could he dress anymore like a tard!!!

  50. Joe Jonas

    Yes, Taylor the beard

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