The Best James Bond Died

I personally believe that Daniel Craig only wants to back out of the Bond franchise out of respect for Roger Moore’s longevity in the role… I’m kidding. Money trumps everything sacred. They’d let Michael Bay do a Transformers VS. James Bond movie because every studio exec has a “F*CK ‘EM THAT’S WHY” tattoo over their belly like 2Pac. Considered by many polls as the “best Bond” simply because he was the anti-Bond, Moore stood out because he was A) older than all the other guys and B) would rather kill a bad guy with a paperclip than shoot them in the face.

He brought a campy class to the franchise during the 1970’s, ushering in the materialistic, cocaine-loving 80’s with his use of gadgets and sweet cars. When I read the news today (ohh boyy) I immediately remembered this scene where James Bond kills a bad guy by throwing a pin into his car and shifting the car’s weight off of a cliff. He killed him with a motherf**king pin!

Then I looked it up and he actually kicks the car off the cliff after throwing the pin in the car… chalk that up as the 48th letdown in the past two days. This week sucks…

Roger Moore
CREDIT: Photo by Roy Jones/Evening Standard/Getty

In case you were wondering, Sir Roger Moore was 89 and was hit with the cancer bomb a few years back. NO he was not at the Ariana Grande concert last night, you sick sick bastard who wants to make a joke about that.