‘The Avengers’ Has A Trailer

October 11th, 2011 // 68 Comments

Whoever owns the rights to The Avengers now – I’m going with Scrooge McDuck. – has just released the official trailer that hits pretty much all the bases you expect it to hit along with some Nine Inch Nails music because apparently kids love nails three inches shy of a foot. Can’t get enough of ‘em. Anyway, Scarlett Johansson wears tight leather clothes, Robert Downey Jr. is Robert Downey Jr. (Read: Will single-handedly hold this thing together ala Iron Man 2.), Chris Hemsworth wields a hammer and laughs medieval-like and Samuel L. Jackson blows shit up whenever he’s not repeatedly going, “Hey, what if we had some sort of team that avenges things?” But more importantly, Chris Evans‘ new Captain America costume looks surprisingly decent in action and hardly anything at all like this caption gallery I just shamelessly whored in your face. (It’ll do anything you like. “Anything.”)

h/t I Watch Stuff

Photos: Disney/Marvel

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

superficial

  1. Gwen

    It was just so…..meh.

  2. Do_FreeBird

    This movie should win EVERY Academy Award.

  3. Yes, but who will avenge the Avengers movie, when the time comes?

  4. Kevin

    ScarJo isn’t nearly as hot since she slep around with that old dude. Thanks for the nude pics though.

  5. Frank Burns

    Whoa, that’s a lot of ‘splosions! Let’s all hope Ms. Johansson’s cell phone camera wasn’t injured!

  6. The Avengers Trailer Photos
    Snides
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice gotee. Looks like he went down on it and came back up with it.

  7. Melvin Mermelstein

    What she needs is one hour of vigorous rectal lovemaking.

  8. The Avengers Trailer Photos
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    is she trying to pee to put out the fire?? wow…imagine…

  9. CranAppleSnapple

    She’s all “Dayam. I needs some Chuck Norris jeans with the crotch ventilation.”

  10. Rex Reed

    OSCARS FOR EVERYONE!

  11. hmmm

    I was expecting for a a transformer to make a cameo.

  12. Cock Dr

    I wonder if there will be any sex in this movie.

  13. Swearin

    I’m think Robert Downey Jr. has it in his contracts now that he must be 50% cooler than everyone else in the cast of his films. Also, everyone gets lines in the trailer (even Agent Colson) but Hemsworth, who just chuckles and Scar Jo, who just looks pretty. I’ll try not to read too much into that…

  14. forrest gump

    this is why this movie will fail, folks!!

  15. Morgan

    Bland and boring trailer, I have no faith in Whedon. He can only do campy tv shows.

  16. MightyMad

    Scrooge McDuck = Disney, who actually owns Marvel.

    I know you tried to be clever here, but… good guess!

  17. Venom

    This was pretty bad. Of course I will still go see it as will everyone else and that is what they are banking on.
    Half the cast sucks and half of them are good, so it will either be marginally good or just be a wash.

  18. Nick

    I still have my doubts. Trailer looked good. But the Green Lantern trailers were good too. If the action is there with good humor and the story is halfway decent it has a shot at being a blockbuster.

  19. Dri

    Go Herptain Amurrica!
    (Nick Fury is manly)
    (Loki is hot and seems actually very good as a villain)

  20. HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

    I don’t know why that put Thor in this. His movie sucked. At least his wig looks more natural this time around.

    • Mandy

      Agreed. I don’t like Thor and his movie didn’t mesh well with the others. Iron Man and Captain America were very similar, but Thor was very cheap and cheesy.

  21. I predict that this movie will be the nail in the coffin of all superhero movies.

    • it looks retarded

      See the avengers were never ‘superheroes’. Hollywood bastardising our childhood since forever. GAH lol

  22. Mandy

    I’m actually really excited for this. It’s a little Iron Man heavy for my tastes, but hopefully that’s just the trailer and not the entire movie. It’s funny how there were leaked pictures of the actors filming some of these scenes only a couple months ago. I’m really happy with this trailer, I can’t wait for the movie.

  23. it looks retarded

    Why call it the avengers when it’s got fuck all to do with the original? Seriously, when was the last time shit blew up in the original series. They were English, world threatened? have some tea, and wave your umbrella around!

  24. ha

    Why does Scarlett look like she’s trying to do a poopy in her pants in this shot?

  25. See Alice

    Hollywood remakes are awful . All they do is PC the cast and add special effects .
    Hollywood is brain dead P.S. SJ is no Diana Rigg

    • rigg was a lot more elegant, and had a far superior body

      • Marquis de Sade

        Yeah, but Diana Rigg ain’t got no ass. Scarlett on the other hand, does, + she also has hips and tits. The whole emaciated 98lb body of a 13 year old prepubescent boy look is soooo 90′s…Real men want their women to look and feel like REAL WOMEN. Leave that PEDOPHILLIC bullsh*t at the door. LOL!

      • Scarlett Avenger

        The boyish look was also in during the Sixties _ Diana Rigg also ain’t got no tits. Scarlett marks a nice return to womanliness.

  26. rough & the beautiful truth

    Not sure if anyone already mentioned this, but where are the super-villains. How are they going to keep people’s interest? Hollywood has no consideration for its audience. I watch Korean, foreign movies anyways…

    • Marquis de Sade

      I’m sure Thanos and The Skrulls will be revealed on the second trailer during the Super Bowl next year. Remember, the movie is still in post-production, so ILM are still replacing the MO-CAP stuntmen with the actual villains. That sh*t takes time. – Trust.

  27. AnnaDraconida

    Scarlett Johansson as an ass-kicking action heroine = FAIL. Those bad shirt & angle shots said it all.

  28. vejay

    I love how all of ScarJo’s moves consist of nothing but fancy moves that always end with her posing on bended knee before flicking her hair back to expose her face. She’s unbelievable as a superhero and as much as i hate milla jonavich, she would have been more appropriate for this role. She too soft for the role, just like the new catwoman.

  29. Nik

    I wanna fuck Loki so bad.

  30. Avengethenails

    []\[] [] ][/[] for the win!

    • woooooo

      song fit the trailer perfectly, but on an unrelated note, this movie is probably going to suck on a big back of dicks.

  31. tsuna

    THANOS will show up towards the end of the movie. The Avengers are sooooooo screwwwwed (hint the infinity gauntlet and marvel: the end).

  32. EagleEye

    Louis C.K., is that you?

  33. Skurupu

    Looks like utter garbage. Just like all the other blockbuster hollywood superhero movies. Will not waste my time and money seeing this little popcorn flic.

    • Stan

      Instead you will just waste time typing on a celebrity blog about how bad the movie will be, and how you won’t go see it as if anyone really gives a single shit… ooo-kay. Go take the dick out ya ass and sit the fuck down somewhere.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        What a strangely aggressive and hypocritical attack. Is the nurse planning to swing by soon with your meds, Stan?

  34. Austin "Danger" Powers

    No Ant Man? No Wasp? A short, funny looking douche playing Hawkeye who is supposed to be 6’3″ and 230lbs? Scarlet is so average and can’t act, couldn’t they get a hot redhead if acting skill isn’t a criteria? F’n Hollywood and their shitty casting picks. Get some unknowns who look the part… worked with Christopher Reeve.

  35. eskwire

    I guess Ed Norton couldn’t be persuaded to join in the fun for this one?

    • CranAppleSnapple

      That’s a weird story, His ass got fired but he didn’t do anything to deserve it and had no clue why. I think they just wanted a cuddlier, fuzzier hulk.

  36. Marquis de Sade

    Ed Norton was nixed from this due to his well know PRIMA DONNA antics. During the production of the INCREDIBLE HULK, he not only re-wrote his lines, he also demanded to direct his own scenes, and then during the release of the movie, he refused to do the obligatory press junkets to promote the movie…And this is not the first time he has pulled this stunt.

    During Comic Con 2010, Marvel’s CEO, Kevin Feign addressed the casting change (Mark Ruffalo) was to ensure that the production of THE AVENGERS would be a COLLABORATIVE effort, and allowing Ed Norton to reprise his role as Bruce Banner/The Hulk would jepardize “SAID” collaborative atmosphere that Marvel and Disney was dead set on creating…After all, the budget for this film is $260,000, 000.

  37. JohnDoe

    Green Lantern! Transformers! It’s Morphin’ Time!

  38. The Avengers Trailer Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, Chris Hemsworth, you’re so pretty. Stay pretty.

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