The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

September 8th, 2011 // 220 Comments

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America‘s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.

I spend a lot of time by myself,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    jennisbacksidemademebarf
    Commented on this photo:

    who in the RED WHITE BLACK AND BLUE HIS FACE WITH MY FIST is this fucker?????? that doesnt look like the guy from t he captn america movie, wtf?

  2. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    bort
    Commented on this photo:

    whos that guy at the front? frodo?

  3. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pull thy finger, brother Loki, and witness why they call me the God of THUNDER!!”

  4. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Evans thinking “One and a half movies down. Four and a half to go. Damn!!”

  5. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Japanese take out? Check!
    Bathrobe? Check!
    Piss anywhere I want in Central Park cause I’m a star? Check!

  6. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Say, who’s that behind those Foster Grants???

  7. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, thought so, Thor! You got some crap caught in between your teeth from eating that sushi. I got some floss back on Asgard.”

  8. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why yes, Thor would love a strawberry and chocolate milkshake. Where can thee find one?”

  9. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Screw Iron Man’s gadgets!! This thingy right here? Push it and I fart Red, White, and Blue, Baby!!!”

  10. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the beauty of tired old Pull My Finger jokes, they’re all NEW to Cap!!

  11. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aye. Once thy goes black, thy never goes back. Verily.”

  12. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Cap-”For the last time, I don’t want to play with your shaft!!”

    Hawkeye-”I love messin’ with Cap!”

  13. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stand aside, Midgardian in sweater and cheap slacks! Brother Loki and I must find thee a White Castle!”

  14. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “You think this A on my head stands for France? Austria, maybe but definitely not France.”

  15. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “He IS peeing, Scarlett, and his wee-wee is only THIS big!! Tee Hee!”

  16. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m walkin’ here! I’m walkin’ here!!”

  17. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Cap-”I got a theme song? You got a theme song? Chicks dig a theme song!”

    Widow (thinking)-”I got a headache!!”

  18. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Cap-”I had a sidekick. You got a sidekick? If you had a sidekick, what would his name be? I don’t see you with a sidekick….”

    Hawkeye (thinking)-”Dude’s mind has gone to mush from that Super Soldier ‘roid they gave him back in ’42.”

  19. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Tony-”So, give me five bucks and you can have this motorcycle.”

    Steve-”Um, okay. Wait! Doesn’t it belong to those Hell’s Angels guys over there?”

  20. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Evans-”I totally just left a big shit in Whedon’s trailer!! The schmuck’s gonna blame Downey jr.!!”

  21. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Business in the front!
    Party in the back!!”

  22. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Cap-”Anyone wanna “salute” the “flag pole?” Don’t be shy, ladies!!”

  23. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    The Mighty Thor vs. The Men without Socks!!

  24. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Shirley you can’t be serious!

  25. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh yeah! LSD kickin’ in!”

  26. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Thor-”I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you….”

    Loki-”DAD! Tell Thor to leave me alone!!”

  27. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Hemswoth-”It’s true, mate!! We’re all descended from convicts!”

    RDJ-”Holy crap! So, like, 15 years ago, if it was 1800 & 60 or something and England, I would have gotten shipped out to down under. Too cool, man!”

  28. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Zounds! By the filthy stench of Odin’s arse, Stark, thy quarter is NOT behind my ear!!”

  29. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Stanley Lieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “What does it mean when thy Widow proclaims that if I bring the HAMMER, I can NAIL her anytime???”

  30. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    AbsoluteDasani
    Commented on this photo:

    The Avengers and the JLA were the hero icons but this, this shit blows worse than a chick with braces…

  31. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    AbsoluteDasani
    Commented on this photo:

    The Avengers and JLA were the icons of comic book heroes and the movies should be epic. But this shit blows worse than a chic with braces.

  32. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this fucking simpleton and what’s with the ever-present shit-eating grin?

  33. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Jack Napier
    Commented on this photo:

    Herp a derp

  34. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dani
    Commented on this photo:

    Occupy Asgard!

  35. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Say hello to my little friend !”

  36. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Comic-Con was in Jersey this year?

  37. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I actually liked The Incredible Hulk more than Captain America.
    I would have liked Thor a lot more if the movie would have set more in Asgard instead of having to watch a damn love story in New Mexico where Thor has no powers.

  38. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Couldnt they find geekier dudes to play superheroes?

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