The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

September 8th, 2011 // 220 Comments

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America‘s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.

I spend a lot of time by myself,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna fuck Loki.

  2. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Spoogebob Nopants
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, Up in the Sky! It’s two morons and a slutbag dressed in absurd shiny costumes. Hollywood is dead!! Talentless hacks crank out yet another comic con hyped monstrosity for the brain dead masses. Anyone who goes to see this fiasco does not deserve to eat or breathe oygen.

  3. anonym

    If not for the presence of scarlett, i think this looks more homosexual than nerdy.

  4. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    mupp
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does it look like RDJ just did a magic trick and CH is finding it awesome…hehe

  5. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    “I got the hammer at Toys R Us and the costume at Walmart. Why doth thou ask?”

  6. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, I might react the same to meeting ScarJo. “Wanna touch the heine!”

  7. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    “My name is Steve and I have a shield.”

  8. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    Spoiler of the cameo by Great Lakes Avenger Big Bertha.

  9. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Brady’s getting a play called in on the arm thing.

  10. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    Missed connections: Me-shield-carrying buffoon. You-liked archery and Chevy Chase movies. We shared a moment about a joke from Fletch Lives. Is it me or was there a spark? reply at flameon69@avengers.com

  11. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    luciddreamer99
    Commented on this photo:

    There she is…Miss America!

  12. Spoogebob Nopants

    Look, Up in the Sky! It’s two morons and a slutbag dressed in absurd shiny costumes. Hollywood is dead!! Talentless hacks crank out yet another comic con hyped monstrosity for the brain dead masses. Anyone who goes to see this fiasco does not deserve to eat or breathe oygen.

  13. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Crunchers32
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to think that Renner and Evans will fill out their respective suits with CGI enhancements.

  14. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    ArtGirl
    Commented on this photo:

    Thor is nobody’s friend. If Thor were an ice cream flavor, he’d be pralines and dick.

  15. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    I am laughing at every single picture of this dork with the funny helmet. Even without captions.

  16. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    ernkaiju
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish they’d have left the fake muscles in the suit instead of thinking he can carry this costume in his natural state.

  17. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    ernkaiju
    Commented on this photo:

    All of their costumes look like cheap Halloween polyester copies… or in this case, cheap rubber. Look at that ‘armor’!

  18. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    ernkaiju
    Commented on this photo:

    @crunchers32 – And maybe they’ll fix Chris Evans’ facial expressions too.

  19. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    ernkaiju
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks so much better without the helmet, even making this face.

  20. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    He is so delish.

  21. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    LOKIIIIIIII~! Oh my gosh, Tom Hiddleston, yes. Yes, please.

  22. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Hiddleston in the background: an Easter egg for the ladies.

  23. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to the 4 metric tons of protein every day? Sushi won’t cut it.

  24. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    Too much sexyfine for one photo.

  25. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    Isnt Captain America supposed to be the epitome of human physical conditioning?? A Super Soldier? this guy looks like he has a hard time pulling the fridge door open

  26. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I want peppercorn. Stop the peppercorn propaganda!

  27. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for a moment I wanted to be her.

  28. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    Hawkeye is looking pretty hot.

  29. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    This gallery is seriously deficient in Loki. And I’m missing out on a perfectly good “He went thataway!” joke. Nope, the moment’s passed.

  30. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    Why so pale, Cap?

  31. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Outspoken
    Commented on this photo:

    This really is the most pathetic Captain America costume I have ever seen! A five year old could put together something better with blue cardboard, glue, and a pair of safety scissors.

  32. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    SMB
    Commented on this photo:

    …this is where it got funny.

  33. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    UncleDenial
    Commented on this photo:

    First Heimdal, now Volstagg.

  34. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    UncleDenial
    Commented on this photo:

    “… and then I promised I’d maintain all that muscle mass! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

  35. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    I keep seeing Howard Wolowitz under that mask.

  36. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    “Back off! All I’ve had to eat today is a salad. A FUCKING SALAD!!!”

  37. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Hiro the Eighth Samurai (and 14th Assassin)
    Commented on this photo:

    Wholy crap. What is with all these goofball expressions? Just when you think there can’t be another…

    He must be a real cut-up during breaks in filming. Or maybe this is the new and improved and excessively jovial Captain America?

  38. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Hiro the Eighth Samurai (and 14th Assassin)
    Commented on this photo:

    He must have gotten his peppercorn fix in between takes. He’s smiling and laughing and pointing here!

  39. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Hiro the Eighth Samurai (and 14th Assassin)
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh-oh, I think someone must have taken Thor’s peppercorn! (Well, at least he was smiling in a couple photos!)

  40. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    shirley
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG! The things I would do to that man. Just give me 5 minutes alone with him!!! Mmmmm….

  41. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Uncle Denial
    Commented on this photo:

    “Worst Shakespeare in the park. EVER!”

  42. AnnaDraconida

    Kick Ass had more convincing costumes.

  43. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Presto117
    Commented on this photo:

    Captain America is an image in the films. He’s as much an image and an icon to America and to SHIELD as he is a weapon, so his modern suit was always going to be brightly colored. It also didn’t need the straps since he’s not carrying grenades or ammo or a fun. It also needed to be smaller and more form fitting because Cap’s much more agile in this film and moves around a lot more. Also, and I can’t stress this enough: color correction does a hell of a lot for the look of a costume. Set photos from The Amazing Spider-Man showed Spidey costumes of varying color intensities because of the way the scenes were lit and how they’d be fixed up in post. Cap’s costume isn’t nearly this bright in the color-corrected teaser for The Avengers they showed at the end of Captain America.

  44. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    fiona
    Commented on this photo:

    is she gonna bitch slap the retard in the helmet or the Eurotrash Lord of the Rings dominatrix?

  45. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    andreabeth
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when did PeeWee Herman become Captain America?

  46. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    andreabeth
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree. The entire cast looks like they are a bunch of High School students putting on a play at one of those Art In the Park things.

  47. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    JZ
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the hell is hulk?

  48. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Naito
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Renner, why you no look-a retarded like-a me?

  49. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Naito
    Commented on this photo:

    No. Steve. Seriously. We found out the Super Soldier Serum ends up causing severe mental retardation after 60 years…

  50. Will Wonka

    This movie is gonna be so corny

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