It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America‘s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.
I spend a lot of time by myself,
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News
He really looks supremely dorky. I wonder if they are sweating it.
These men are so damn gorgeous.
Amen
*takes long drag of imaginary cigarette* I am totally content to stare at this picture forever.
Dosn’t thou hath the lens pointing verily in the wrong direction, Muppet Woman?
Great job Fish! You had me rolling on the floor.
Phoebe Price would be better than Scarjo.
“So help me God, I’m going to slap the stupid right off your faces!!”
That’s racist™
How do you add a TM like that?
Holy shit really? Google it and copy/paste
Not everyone knows all the computer tricks, unbelievable Nick Burns isn’t it?
“HAHAHA! It came before you even touched it!! Unbelieveable!”
Is this a pic from the “casual encounters” section of craiglist under “mm4m”?
…….I hate to ask why you were perusing mm4m?
That’s not the salad he really wants to toss.
This movie looks positively retarded. It amazes me how pretentious Hollywood actors are when they’re standing around the salad bar in plastic superhero costumes. Mind you, they’re getting paid gajillions to do so, so joke’s on me I guess.
He looks more like Captain France to me.
If you say, “Hammertime” one more fuckin’ time, your dead!
Sir, I believe this pepper mill is empty.
I know you didn’t just say, green fuckin’ goddess.
Glad they got Jerry Lewis for this movie.
Why does he look so emaciated?
So, either we kill him or this movie goes straight to DVD…hmmm… tough choice.
i bet he’s thinking…how do i get her in bed? do i talk to her about her ex and hope she cires on my shoulder or do i tell her that i banged Jessica Alba and i want to do a comparison on whose better in bed?
Let me be the FIRST to say, this looks like a steaming pile of shit. First!
LOOKS LIKE THE CREW HANGING OUTSIDE THE JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW, LOL
-I’m Chandler… WHHAAAAAA.
What’s with the matrix of leadership ?
Jeremy Renner makes my private parts tingle!
best one so far. hope you haven’t peaked yet!
Movies should make hot guys grow long hair more often.
I would do terrible things to this man. Terrible, sexy things.
Why did he have to get married? To someone other than myself I mean. Such a shame.
Okay, I’m just going to say it. Captain America’s modern costume looks terrible. Like I-just-made-this-costume-to-wear-at-ComicCon terrible. His 1940′s getup was much classier.
Would be funny except its sushi
yeah he looks super manly until you look down and… he can’t fill his pants. his crotchal area is disappointingly baggy.
a-dur-dur-durrr!
in every picture there’s always an old man in a safari hat whose shifty eyes say it all
“WonderTwin powers activate! form of an ICE UNICYCLE!”
“ooooh is that your sweet pimpin ride? can I ride it? can I can I can I can I CAN I???”
damn rihanna got FAT
“Why do you ask? Thor always keeps a squirrel in his codpiece for good luck. It is the Nordic way!”
Didn’t Rihanna change her hair?
“You know, I’m just not worried anymore about what the evildoers are doing. I’ve got Jesus, and that’s all I need.”
“Reheheheheheheheeeeeally?”
“I am not looking at a picture of your dick again, Black Odin.”
“Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow…connection……the lovers…the Avengers…….and….me.”
“So help you, God! I’m going to slap the stupid right off your faces!!”
This costume is right up there with the one from the Wonder Woman TV series that didn’t make it past the pilot. Actually its worse…. way worse.
Your mane doth look as ethereal as a bloom. I shall smell it.
Thor doesn’t know not to get near a black woman’s hair.
If they ever want to kill Thor off, that’s the way to do it.
ahahaha
“I find moon rocks in my nose!”
ralph wiggum all grown up
regardless of mental stability, i’d hit it
that’s a spicy meata-baoull!!
Why does he look retarded all the time?
He’s retarded.
just how many pagers DOES captain america carry?