The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

September 8th, 2011 // 220 Comments

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America‘s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.

I spend a lot of time by myself,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    He really looks supremely dorky. I wonder if they are sweating it.

  2. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    These men are so damn gorgeous.

  3. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    TomBrady
    Commented on this photo:

    Dosn’t thou hath the lens pointing verily in the wrong direction, Muppet Woman?

  4. maruli

    Great job Fish! You had me rolling on the floor.

  5. CranAppleSnapple

    Phoebe Price would be better than Scarjo.

  6. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    “So help me God, I’m going to slap the stupid right off your faces!!”

  7. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Hickok
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s racist™

  8. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “HAHAHA! It came before you even touched it!! Unbelieveable!”

  9. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a pic from the “casual encounters” section of craiglist under “mm4m”?

  10. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not the salad he really wants to toss.

  11. This movie looks positively retarded. It amazes me how pretentious Hollywood actors are when they’re standing around the salad bar in plastic superhero costumes. Mind you, they’re getting paid gajillions to do so, so joke’s on me I guess.

  12. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks more like Captain France to me.

  13. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    If you say, “Hammertime” one more fuckin’ time, your dead!

  14. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    Sir, I believe this pepper mill is empty.

  15. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    I know you didn’t just say, green fuckin’ goddess.

  16. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad they got Jerry Lewis for this movie.

  17. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Kel
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he look so emaciated?

  18. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    So, either we kill him or this movie goes straight to DVD…hmmm… tough choice.

  19. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    i bet he’s thinking…how do i get her in bed? do i talk to her about her ex and hope she cires on my shoulder or do i tell her that i banged Jessica Alba and i want to do a comparison on whose better in bed?

  20. Let me be the FIRST to say, this looks like a steaming pile of shit. First!

  21. ChinoLatino

    LOOKS LIKE THE CREW HANGING OUTSIDE THE JIMMY KIMMEL SHOW, LOL

  22. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    dani
    Commented on this photo:

    -I’m Chandler… WHHAAAAAA.

  23. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dispatchguy
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the matrix of leadership ?

  24. Donald Trump

    Jeremy Renner makes my private parts tingle!

  25. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    jaime
    Commented on this photo:

    best one so far. hope you haven’t peaked yet!

  26. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    TheLando
    Commented on this photo:

    Movies should make hot guys grow long hair more often.

  27. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Mae
    Commented on this photo:

    I would do terrible things to this man. Terrible, sexy things.

  28. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Strom
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, I’m just going to say it. Captain America’s modern costume looks terrible. Like I-just-made-this-costume-to-wear-at-ComicCon terrible. His 1940′s getup was much classier.

  29. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Eat
    Commented on this photo:

    Would be funny except its sushi

  30. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    erstfykdhjnv
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah he looks super manly until you look down and… he can’t fill his pants. his crotchal area is disappointingly baggy.

  31. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    erstfykdhjnv
    Commented on this photo:

    a-dur-dur-durrr!

  32. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    erstfykdhjnv
    Commented on this photo:

    in every picture there’s always an old man in a safari hat whose shifty eyes say it all

  33. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    erstfykdhjnv
    Commented on this photo:

    “WonderTwin powers activate! form of an ICE UNICYCLE!”

  34. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    erstfykdhjnv
    Commented on this photo:

    “ooooh is that your sweet pimpin ride? can I ride it? can I can I can I can I CAN I???”

  35. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    erstfykdhjnv
    Commented on this photo:

    damn rihanna got FAT

  36. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why do you ask? Thor always keeps a squirrel in his codpiece for good luck. It is the Nordic way!”

  37. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Cam
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t Rihanna change her hair?

  38. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know, I’m just not worried anymore about what the evildoers are doing. I’ve got Jesus, and that’s all I need.”

  39. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    “Reheheheheheheheeeeeally?”

  40. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am not looking at a picture of your dick again, Black Odin.”

  41. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow…connection……the lovers…the Avengers…….and….me.”

  42. “So help you, God! I’m going to slap the stupid right off your faces!!”

  43. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Al Bundy
    Commented on this photo:

    This costume is right up there with the one from the Wonder Woman TV series that didn’t make it past the pilot. Actually its worse…. way worse.

  44. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Haddo01
    Commented on this photo:

    Your mane doth look as ethereal as a bloom. I shall smell it.

  45. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Haddo01
    Commented on this photo:

    ahahaha

  46. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    downwithmuffins
    Commented on this photo:

    “I find moon rocks in my nose!”

    ralph wiggum all grown up

  47. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    downwithmuffins
    Commented on this photo:

    regardless of mental stability, i’d hit it

  48. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    downwithmuffins
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s a spicy meata-baoull!!

  49. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he look retarded all the time?

  50. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    downwithmuffins
    Commented on this photo:

    just how many pagers DOES captain america carry?

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