The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America’s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.

I spend a lot of time by myself,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News