It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America‘s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.
I spend a lot of time by myself,
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News
Nerd fest.
Does the “A” on his helmet stand for “anal?”
No it stands for “asswipe”.
or anomalistic
Stands for average. He must be off his ‘roids because he looks pretty wimpy and skinny in that idiotic looking getup.
I’ve seen retarded kids with better helmets.
flame ON
heheheheheheehe
Life is like a box of chocolates!
score!
LMAO.
Dammit, well now I am.
♫ “Standing outside with my mouth open wide,
HERP DERPA DERP DERPA DERP HERPA DERP.” ♪
♫ Jizz…in my pants ♪
Bahahahahaha!
Nipples are always good. In fact, let’s just forget the whole costume thing. Nudity would be appreciated.
Anna Penquin?
“Um, I was told that Hawkeye was the Avenger cut-up, but I don’t have any funny lines! Also, when do I get all maudlin and yell about ‘this damn war’?”
I kind of hate the fact that Thor has prettier hair than me.
The salad gag was funny! You should have kept going with it all the way.
Don’t….. actually…. touch the black woman!
As long as he doesn’t touch her hair, he’ll be OK. If he touches her hair, he’s as good as dead.
Seriously. Old guy, is he looking at my ass again?
Umm…please go easy on the Post Ambien Caption Binges.
those things are for sleeping.
A = autistic
There is not one photo in this series where Captain Asshole doesn’t look like a complete tard. Did they find this guy on the short bus?
Only a real Asgardian pimp would have the velcro tear away penis flap on his battle armor…. helloooo ladies…
look at my ex-wife’s booty. delicious
I SAY THEE, NAY!!!
(just to let you know youre not alone in the dork-bubble)
Chris: I would soooo look better in that catsuit than her.
UGGGHH! Knew I shouldn’t have drank that bottle of Peppercorn…someone get Thor’s hammer outta my ass! No, wait….
This shit was epic.
You should win an Emmy for this.
The salad shit was pretty hilarious.
This is Skarsgard….I mean Asgard
Who’s the shlomo with the arrow suppose to be?
Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye
Grammar fail on pic 14 – “it’s” means “it is”.
A = Average .. He must be off the roids.
Holy shit…..this looks like a bunch of assholes going to a costume party
The Captain America costume looks like it was bought in one of those discount Halloween stores in the mall that’s open for 2 months out of the year.
Where people just stand there and pick up plastic axes and fat women joke about how they’re going to be a gypsy this year.
Dog the Bounty Hunter is in this too?
lmao!! +1
Gay Captain America. How embarrassing.
Actually, I think it would be rather appropriate.
Dog The Bounty Hunter pic #2
Is Dog making a “citizens arrest?”
Where’s Dog The Bounty Hunters punching bag son Leland? Probably got knocked out by a bulimic crack head yet again.
This movie production looks super dumb.
Since it was impossible for the producers to make a film that doesn’t look retarded they are instead employing a new film technology that turns the audience into retards. Not that it will have to work very hard in this case…
That’s the greatest picture that’s ever been posted on this site and I’ve been reading it for years.
Seriously, I cannot stop laughing and not in a mocking sort of way but in an endearing sort of one.
Because for all the love and hate we heap upon these people of notability, in the end they’re goofball silly humans just like the rest of us.
“I tried to catch a snowflake on my tongue, but apparently that’s some sort of signal in Chelsea”
This caption owns.
I thought Comic-Con was already over this year.
HAHA
He’s eating sushi, not salad.
“Me? Jerking off under this shield? No … way!”
“That’s right, bitches. I got Thor’s sunglasses on! Who’s ready to par-tay?!?”
I think I speak for everyone here that unless you’re showing a photo of Scarlett’s breasts, move on.
Aahahahaaa!
I seriously am enjoying his lack of peppercorn!
Just looks awful. I read Avengers comic books as a young kid and this is just making my inner child hide under metaphorical blankets.
just like any other comic book “movie” in my opinion….
Renner’s thinking “My fucking agent… I’m an oscar nominee, asshole!”
Ahhh. I think I have pulled a muscle in my side. Poor Thor.
I hope he’s hotter once they add all the special effects. Because those split-ends are just ridic.
Seriously, how the fuck did this guy get the job as Captain America?
Captain America is supposed to be manly, like Hemsworth, not this dude.
I don’t see why they did not hire his brother Liam instead of this dude.