The Superficial Presents: ‘The Avengers,’ A Tale of Dumb Face and Peppercorn

September 8th, 2011 // 220 Comments

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done a caption gallery this large. In fact, it’s been so many years that the old ones didn’t even survive the migration from Movable Type to WordPress, essentially flushing hours upon hours of my life down the Internet toilet. Ahahahaha! *cries curled up in the shower for 18 hours* Anyway, as most of you noticed, Captain America‘s costume in The Avengers looks questionable as hell, but what you didn’t know is that I left out the shots that really make you wonder how this movie isn’t going to Joel Schumacher every single one of us in the movie butthole. And I did that because apparently Chris Evans spends 98% of production making the Gomer-iest faces you will ever see in your life, so naturally, I had to add captions to them along with a running gag about Thor eating a salad. On that note, please enjoy the dorkiest thing I’ve ever asthma-inhaled onto The Superficial because it seemed more fun that just taking a vow of celibacy.

I spend a lot of time by myself,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Adrian

    Nerd fest.

  2. Does the “A” on his helmet stand for “anal?”

  3. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen retarded kids with better helmets.

  4. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    flame ON

  5. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    heheheheheheehe

  6. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Life is like a box of chocolates!

  7. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, well now I am.

  8. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    ♫ “Standing outside with my mouth open wide,
    HERP DERPA DERP DERPA DERP HERPA DERP.” ♪

  9. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Your Gynecologist
    Commented on this photo:

    Bahahahahaha!

  10. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Nipples are always good. In fact, let’s just forget the whole costume thing. Nudity would be appreciated.

  11. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Anna Penquin?

  12. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um, I was told that Hawkeye was the Avenger cut-up, but I don’t have any funny lines! Also, when do I get all maudlin and yell about ‘this damn war’?”

  13. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    tmfvaughan
    Commented on this photo:

    I kind of hate the fact that Thor has prettier hair than me.

  14. TomFrank

    The salad gag was funny! You should have kept going with it all the way.

  15. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    cooperanimation
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t….. actually…. touch the black woman!

    • Hiro the Eighth Samurai (and 14th Assassin)

      As long as he doesn’t touch her hair, he’ll be OK. If he touches her hair, he’s as good as dead.

  16. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    cooperanimation
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously. Old guy, is he looking at my ass again?

  17. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Ksurfiws
    Commented on this photo:

    Umm…please go easy on the Post Ambien Caption Binges.
    those things are for sleeping.

  18. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    A = autistic

  19. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    There is not one photo in this series where Captain Asshole doesn’t look like a complete tard. Did they find this guy on the short bus?

  20. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    Only a real Asgardian pimp would have the velcro tear away penis flap on his battle armor…. helloooo ladies…

  21. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    ryan reynolds
    Commented on this photo:

    look at my ex-wife’s booty. delicious

  22. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    King
    Commented on this photo:

    I SAY THEE, NAY!!!

    (just to let you know youre not alone in the dork-bubble)

  23. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    papastryfe
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris: I would soooo look better in that catsuit than her.

  24. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    papastryfe
    Commented on this photo:

    UGGGHH! Knew I shouldn’t have drank that bottle of Peppercorn…someone get Thor’s hammer outta my ass! No, wait….

  25. Venom

    This shit was epic.
    You should win an Emmy for this.

    The salad shit was pretty hilarious.

  26. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    This is Skarsgard….I mean Asgard

  27. Let rough's conscious be your guide

    Who’s the shlomo with the arrow suppose to be?

  28. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Ollie
    Commented on this photo:

    Grammar fail on pic 14 – “it’s” means “it is”.

  29. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Jack Napier
    Commented on this photo:

    A = Average .. He must be off the roids.

  30. Deacon Jones

    Holy shit…..this looks like a bunch of assholes going to a costume party

    The Captain America costume looks like it was bought in one of those discount Halloween stores in the mall that’s open for 2 months out of the year.

    Where people just stand there and pick up plastic axes and fat women joke about how they’re going to be a gypsy this year.

  31. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Dog the Bounty Hunter is in this too?

  32. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay Captain America. How embarrassing.

  33. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Dog The Bounty Hunter pic #2

  34. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Dog making a “citizens arrest?”

  35. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Dog The Bounty Hunters punching bag son Leland? Probably got knocked out by a bulimic crack head yet again.

  36. Cock Dr

    This movie production looks super dumb.

    • Miss Ann Thrope

      Since it was impossible for the producers to make a film that doesn’t look retarded they are instead employing a new film technology that turns the audience into retards. Not that it will have to work very hard in this case…

  37. That’s the greatest picture that’s ever been posted on this site and I’ve been reading it for years.

    Seriously, I cannot stop laughing and not in a mocking sort of way but in an endearing sort of one.

    Because for all the love and hate we heap upon these people of notability, in the end they’re goofball silly humans just like the rest of us.

  38. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    SonicAlligator
    Commented on this photo:

    “I tried to catch a snowflake on my tongue, but apparently that’s some sort of signal in Chelsea”

  39. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    SonicAlligator
    Commented on this photo:

    This caption owns.

  40. Kisses4Katie

    I thought Comic-Con was already over this year.

  41. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    jingus
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s eating sushi, not salad.

  42. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Me? Jerking off under this shield? No … way!”

  43. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right, bitches. I got Thor’s sunglasses on! Who’s ready to par-tay?!?”

  44. jumpin_j

    I think I speak for everyone here that unless you’re showing a photo of Scarlett’s breasts, move on.

  45. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Aahahahaaa!
    I seriously am enjoying his lack of peppercorn!

  46. Frank Burns

    Just looks awful. I read Avengers comic books as a young kid and this is just making my inner child hide under metaphorical blankets.

  47. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Renner’s thinking “My fucking agent… I’m an oscar nominee, asshole!”

  48. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh. I think I have pulled a muscle in my side. Poor Thor.

  49. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope he’s hotter once they add all the special effects. Because those split-ends are just ridic.

  50. Avengers Captions Captain America Thor Set Photos
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, how the fuck did this guy get the job as Captain America?
    Captain America is supposed to be manly, like Hemsworth, not this dude.
    I don’t see why they did not hire his brother Liam instead of this dude.

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