The 86th Annual Academy Awards

March 3rd, 2014 // 90 Comments

I pretty much made my feelings on the Oscars known last night – Although, kudos to Rust Cohle for his work as an undercover AIDS patient. – so here are the best red carpet pics Photo Boy could find while I sat in the corner making beer can men and mumbling how we’ll do this again next year and for all eternity. Which is a lie to make me sound badass because knives are sharp and give me ouchies. I don’t touch the things.

P.S. Enjoy the landmine we left for you. You’ll know when you find it.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Anne Hathaway 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Beer for thought
    Commented on this photo:

    No nipple pokies this year, I’ll make sure of that!

  2. Jennifer Garner 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Beer for thought
    Commented on this photo:

    is she going to grade 8 grad?

  3. Anne Hathaway 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    whats with hot broads cutting their hair like men? jesus christ grow that shit out ho

  4. Chrissy Teigen 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    this chick looks inbred …and who is she?

  5. Julia Roberts 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Rasputin's Evil Twin
    Commented on this photo:

    Did anyone else think she’d gone the “Full Jolie” and that was a tattoo on her chest?

  6. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    I give her credit for not buying the Kardashian-sized fake tits and just perking herself a little lift.

  7. Jennifer Lawrence 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute body, but way too goofy and talks a lot!

    • Ken

      Right. Nobody likes a girl you can have fun with or talk to like a real person.
      She seems like she’d be a helluva great buddy.

      And she’s hot.

  8. Olivia Wilde Nipples Huge Pregnant Belly 86th Annual Academy Awards
    girldylan
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a pregnant chick? I didn’t know Alexander Skarsgård was there.

  9. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    thecrazybetty
    Commented on this photo:

    that barbie doll hairline… yikes. you’d think these broad could get a better wig.

  10. Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    pillsy
    Commented on this photo:

    and you’ve no idea how much we had to pay to get an ethnically appropriate babysitter

  11. Emma Watson Butt 86th Annual Academy Awards
    pillsy
    Commented on this photo:

    and I just came straight from shopping in the mall

  12. Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    pillsy
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t ever look at her perfectly-sculpted face without thinking back to her blob nose.
    Like when you’ve see someone taking a dump, they’re never the same in your eyes.

  13. Chrissy Teigen 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She definitely has that inbred trailer park look.

  14. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She seems to have adopted the Miley perma-beaver expression lately.

  15. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the frumpiest, most matronly looking waistline I’ve ever seen on such a sparkly outfit.

  16. Jennifer Garner 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a gorgeous chandelier.

  17. Chrissy Teigen 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Fakest smile ever.

  18. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Ellen sure skewered her during her monologue last night!

  19. Jennifer Lawrence 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    This gal is my kind of klutz!

  20. Julia Roberts 86th Annual Academy Awards
    gfys
    Commented on this photo:

    Tell me Jennifer Lawrence is America’s sweetheart again, I dare you!

  21. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    booya
    Commented on this photo:

    rosie o’donnell has lost some weight!

  22. Will Smith Jada Pinkett Smith 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she should rip off a dick with her kegal muscles alone.

  23. Channing Tatum Jenna Dewan Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a vampire in every single photo I see of her. Tatum looks like he’d be a delicious snack so I guess they make a good couple.

  24. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she looks good but would look better if she had dark hair, maybe fashioned a little softer than this look.

  25. Amy Adams Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Always classy and beautiful.

  26. Jennifer Garner 86th Annual Academy Awards
    RocketInMyPocket
    Commented on this photo:

    A simply beautiful woman.

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