The 86th Annual Academy Awards

March 3rd, 2014 // 90 Comments

I pretty much made my feelings on the Oscars known last night – Although, kudos to Rust Cohle for his work as an undercover AIDS patient. – so here are the best red carpet pics Photo Boy could find while I sat in the corner making beer can men and mumbling how we’ll do this again next year and for all eternity. Which is a lie to make me sound badass because knives are sharp and give me ouchies. I don’t touch the things.

P.S. Enjoy the landmine we left for you. You’ll know when you find it.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, not cool, man. Not cool at all.

  2. Frank Burns

    Meh.

  3. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful woman. Why was she there?

  4. Amy Adams Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Hello sexy ginger.

  5. Jenna Dewan Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d Channing her Tatum.

  6. Emma Watson Butt 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Hermione grew up beautifully.

  7. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Hell yeah.

  8. Sandra Bullock 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    I would. I always will.

  9. Will Smith Jada Pinkett Smith 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    “Come on. We’ve got to out-douche Jayden & Willow.”

  10. Emma Watson Butt 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad she’s got long hair again. It’s looks better on her.

  11. Olivia Wilde Nipples Huge Pregnant Belly Jason Sudeikis 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “What do you mean “Why am I here?” You mean this isn’t the Emmys?”

  12. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Yuck
    Commented on this photo:

    Pasty fail.

  13. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Spockblocker
    Commented on this photo:

    Set phasers to “Splooge”.

  14. Will Smith Jada Pinkett Smith 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    He should have won an Oscar for his portrayal of a man who is sexually interested in women. He almost has me convinced.

  15. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    RichPort
    Commented on this photo:

    Smallest. Implants. Ever.

  16. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    They always look happy together in their photos. Not like some other couples.

  17. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    freeie
    Commented on this photo:

    She cleans up well.

  18. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    when one has sorry ass flapjack titties, ’tis best to conceal. The worst would be to flagrantly display them.

  19. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    saarahlee
    Commented on this photo:

    it looks like her head/body is backwards

  20. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    BOOM

  21. Emma Watson Butt 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Classy & cute.

  22. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep, that’s what a couple of kids will do to nice perkies (see “Almost Famous”).

  23. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She plays the glamour card well when she wants to.

  24. Will Smith Jada Pinkett Smith 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s sad because he so preferred the militant dyke braid fiasco she was sporting not long ago.

  25. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There are so many different ways that a garment can malfunction. Avoiding these public disasters must take eternal vigilance. Someone on her team dropped the ball…shame on them.

  26. Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those earrings = GNP of many 3rd world countries.

  27. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Behold! The dress that causes cameraman vertigo!

  28. Emma Watson Butt 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Woody Allen neck whiplash.

  29. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    MZ MIZRY
    Commented on this photo:

    i needa driN k.

  30. Amy Adams Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Boooooring.

  31. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    What is her obsession with those weird cape things?

  32. Chrissy Teigen 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Who is this Instagram person?

  33. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it wrong to actually want to see them in, erm, person?

  34. Olivia Wilde Nipples Huge Pregnant Belly Jason Sudeikis 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Crackerland
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s going to punch that fucking kid for the same reason we all want to punch that fucking kid.

  35. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    JO JO
    Commented on this photo:

    love!

  36. Kate Hudson Cleavage The 86th Annual Academy Awards
    JO JO
    Commented on this photo:

    gorgeus dress… she is on the prowl!

  37. Channing Tatum Jenna Dewan Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    “She married me before I was a star. So, yes, it’s pretty much shaped like a 24 oz Schlitz can.”

  38. Jennifer Garner 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Good night for MILFs in the Valley.

  39. Jennifer Lawrence 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    “Jen! Look out for that – !” [CRASH]

  40. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    Why was she there?

  41. Olivia Wilde Nipples Huge Pregnant Belly 86th Annual Academy Awards
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    That’s probably one of the best looking pregnancies I’ve ever seen.

  42. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    ZigZagZoey
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris Angel in drag?

  43. ben dover

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for not posting the pic of Ireland Baldwin, why the fuck was she there, she hasn’t done shit

  44. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish’s landmine?

  45. Jennifer Lawrence 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s going to trip over the ropes behind her.

  46. Lady Gaga Cleavage 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s incapable of being very pretty, but she does clean up and dress like an adult human very well, when she wants to.

  47. Chrissy Teigen 86th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Decent from the neck down. I don’t know why anyone thinks she’s all that special. She isn’t.

  48. Will Smith Jada Pinkett Smith 86th Annual Academy Awards
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Will and Jada standing in front of a silhouette of Miley Cyrus’ legs.

  49. Liza Minnelli Nipples 86th Annual Academy Awards
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Sloth love Chunk!

  50. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Cleavage New Fake Boobs 86th Annual Academy Awards
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hahaha, Theroux dumped her too?! Loser”

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