The 85th Annual Academy Awards

February 25th, 2013 // 208 Comments

Here are the rest of the Oscars because after spending all night on Twitter I can’t talk about them anymore without living in fear of another Seth MacFarlane musical number. Holy shit, a man who can sing! What unexpected wonders you possess, Hollywood! In the meantime, if you’re looking for Anne Hathaway‘s nipple dress and/or Jennifer Lawrence‘s breasts, they got their own posts because I didn’t see either of the movies they won for which I’m sure wasn’t what they were after anyway. “Well, the script’s good, but if I’m nominated for an award can I make my nips look like giant triangle knives? That’s mostly what I’m interested in.”

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Sari Gilman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s looking at her face, great knockers!

  2. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Barbara Streisand looks great in red.

  3. Michael Douglas Catherine Zeta-Jones 85th Annual Academy Awards
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking more and more like his late father…….oh wait he’s still alive!

  4. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Still hot even with the awful haircut.

  5. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    sparky
    Commented on this photo:

    ugh

  6. Adele 85th Annual Academy Awards
    jojo
    Commented on this photo:

    gorgeous

  7. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    How many female Academy Award winners have masterbated with their golden statue? Come on, you know Merrill Streep has.

  8. Keith Urban Nicole Kidman: 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, little man, get inside me now! Not you, the gold statue, you loser!”

  9. Michael Douglas Catherine Zeta-Jones 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Still smilin’, and still hittin’ it.

  10. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Shoulder pads by the Romulans from Star Trek TNG.

  11. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m shootin’ blanks, but it doesn’t stop me from trying! Hey-Ohhh!”

  12. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    All males are inferior. She’s just too much woman.

  13. Salma Hayek 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looking good. And it’s not from drinking milk. Ask Kim K.

  14. Stacy Keibler 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    A beaded dress to match the anal beads Clooney will be pulling out of her ass tonight.

  15. Naomi Watts 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    She is awesome! She should have won the academy award for The Impossible.

  16. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. I HATE THIS STUPID CHICK.

  17. Adele 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Black is slimming. >

  18. Helena Bonham Carter 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Mario Bava just found the right actress for the new remake of Black Sabbath, ‘Drop of Water’ episode. (Look it up, it’s worth it).

  19. Samantha Barks 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fine. I got nothing else to say.

  20. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Some one tackle her, and throw her out. I HATE THIS CHICK.

  21. Stacy Keibler 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how long this one will last.

  22. Amanda Seyfried 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She glams up very well.

  23. Naomi Watts 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful face.

  24. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 85th Academy Awards
    stinkrod
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah-ha, I knew they were making a biopic about the Gorton’s Fisherman.

  25. Olivia Munn 85th Annual Academy Awards
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks better than she usually does, thanks to the heavy make up

  26. Nicole Kidman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Bee
    Commented on this photo:

    I really wish she hadn’t of done that to her face… she was such a beautiful woman with BAD taste in men.

  27. Catherine Zeta-Jones 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Bee
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else see her “All That Jazz” routine? Her body is starting to show her age.

  28. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Channeling Jennifer Lopez 2002. However, while JLo’s look was a fail IMO, Maria looks mostly great. (While appropriately Barbie-like, the fake lashes and pale lip don’t flatter.)
    http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/jennifer-lopez-and-cris-judd-during-the-74th-annual-academy-news-photo/104981478

  29. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Bee
    Commented on this photo:

    She walked around in that outfit like an ape. I never realized how big of a woman she is.

  30. Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Rabbit.

  31. Amy Adams 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Bee
    Commented on this photo:

    I can never tell the difference between this woman and the funny version of her that’s married to Borat.

  32. Sari Gilman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Bee
    Commented on this photo:

    Who invited this troll to the Oscars?
    Seriously who the fuck is this?

  33. Keith Urban Nicole Kidman: 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    A full pic of Keith shows that he’s wearing elevator shoes straight from the Cruise/Stallone line.

  34. Amanda Seyfried 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    -Who are you wearing?
    -Armani Prive. Oh, and the extra vagina I keep in my left armpit was designed by fleshlight.

  35. Helena Bonham Carter 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    whatever.

    -thats the name of the designer.

  36. Nicole Kidman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like she’s nursing Keith again.

  37. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m looking forward to that Linda Lovelace biopic now more than ever.

  38. Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s all kinds of awesome.

  39. Nicole Kidman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Naomi Watts was always hotter.

  40. Olivia Munn 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty good. Always sexy.

  41. Olivia Munn 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    So beautiful.

  42. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Gorgeous.

  43. Salma Hayek 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Classic Coca Cola bottle figure.

  44. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 85th Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful couple.

  45. Stacy Keibler 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She was always known for her magnificent ass.

  46. Naomi Watts 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    So fucking sexy.

  47. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking sexy. I love her ass.

  48. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d nut on that.

  49. Samantha Barks 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does Samantha bark?

  50. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 85th Academy Awards
    Cody42
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m actually surprised that unlike all the other aging stars in Hollywood fighting their aging process Clooney has apparently embraced it and let his grey run wild. Along with those eyeybrows.

Leave A Comment