The 85th Annual Academy Awards

February 25th, 2013 // 208 Comments

Here are the rest of the Oscars because after spending all night on Twitter I can’t talk about them anymore without living in fear of another Seth MacFarlane musical number. Holy shit, a man who can sing! What unexpected wonders you possess, Hollywood! In the meantime, if you’re looking for Anne Hathaway‘s nipple dress and/or Jennifer Lawrence‘s breasts, they got their own posts because I didn’t see either of the movies they won for which I’m sure wasn’t what they were after anyway. “Well, the script’s good, but if I’m nominated for an award can I make my nips look like giant triangle knives? That’s mostly what I’m interested in.”

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 85th Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    How nice of her to wear a dress that matches his hair.

  2. Naomi Watts 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    How many watts is that dress?

  3. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Love me some Maria, but this is a fail. She is also starting to enter Jlo territory. Not good.

  4. Adele 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Dress by “Draperies R Us”.

  5. Amy Adams 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Where is PETA when you need them?

  6. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    is she supposed to be the Doppler effect?

  7. Helena Bonham Carter 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the definition of something just thrown together. Oh, and the dress too.

  8. Samantha Barks 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress and pose would look great on Salma Hayek.

  9. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tuvieja
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ok, great! Now hold still…. Bring Jon Hamm in, please. She´s ready.”

  10. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope. Not any better from this angle. However, she has given us so many great moments, she gets a pass on this one.

  11. Samantha Barks 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Hey Now
    Commented on this photo:

    Barks is right.

  12. Sari Gilman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have HUGE tits.

  13. Adele 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Rob
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce Vilanch cleans up nice

  14. Channing Tatum Jenna Dewan 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Rob
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the exact moment that Channing Tatum remembered that he’s Channing Tatum and he doesn’t fuck fat chicks

  15. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    Paula Abdul 15 years and 900 bottles of Vicodin ago? Think about it.

  16. Stacy Keibler 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Do the photogs at these events just flat out tell the broads ‘ok, now turn around so we can get pictures of your ass’? Classy.

  17. Amy Adams 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I could live out the rest of my days inside that dress, happy as heck.

  18. Helena Bonham Carter 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, what a shocker, she wore black.

  19. Amy Adams 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Designer gowns, red carpet, fancy hairstyles & fabulous jewelry – the only thing that could make this event even classier is me, balls deep in her fartbox. I’d wear a monacle, of course.

  20. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    If she had done more of that she would have been nominated for an Oscar last night.

  21. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    ok, so I can’t get an assault rifle, but you libtardos are perfectly fine with allowing the criminally insane to wander the streets?

  22. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice of the psych ward to give Halle Berry a day pass for the Oscars.

  23. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what Pink might look like, if Pink was a woman.

  24. Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    If her movies all suck, lose money, and her acting skills barely qualify her for a pudding commercial, wtf is she even at the oscars for?

  25. Olivia Munn 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Who let the Rottweiler in?! Someone give her a bone before she chews up the rug. No wait, that’s what she did to get in. Possibly both.

  26. Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    She was fuckin awesome in Zero Dark Thirty also. I like this chick.

  27. Amy Adams 85th Annual Academy Awards
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever magazine columnist said this chick was just “average” is certifiably fucking stupid.

    Love those eyes…

  28. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Considering that she is wearing my haircut, still looks hot as hell.

    Hot is hot.

  29. Charlize Theron 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Armpit fat is just struggling to get free!

  30. Adele 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Meee sooo hungeeee.

  31. Sari Gilman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who farted?! Must. Hold. Breath.”

  32. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s staring at the mothership.

  33. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Bring on the Jon Hamm jokes.

  34. Helena Bonham Carter 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    And yet, it’s so totally her.

  35. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    She will always be the dumpee.

  36. Amy Adams 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wondered whatever became of Björk’s swan.

  37. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Jennifer looked stunning!

  38. Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jessica! Jessica! How high can you count?”

  39. Nicole Kidman 85th Annual Academy Awards
    claire
    Commented on this photo:

    she has always been beautiful and classy

  40. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know that Cirque du Soleil movie got any nominations?!?

  41. Halle Berry 85th Annual Academy Awards
    claire
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just over this hairstyle— grow it out!

  42. Samantha Barks 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tom Hooper gave me this medal for outstanding breath control.”

  43. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    claire
    Commented on this photo:

    dislike the hair

  44. Jessica Chastain 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite my apparent dotage (or maybe as a result of it), I have just come to realize that this is a very attractive lady. As of last night she has a new fan. An old but new fan…

  45. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “My seed goes here.”

  46. Justin Theroux Jennifer Aniston 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is my son, and I shall call him Bobby Drake.”

  47. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 85th Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    As far as I’m concerned, it’s pretty difficult to say anything bad about George Clooney. From everything I’ve read he is really a great guy. And Stacy looks superb. She’s always nice to look at, but she looks exceptional in that dress.

  48. Stacy Keibler 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking back on the women George Clooney has been “associated” with, it’s pretty clear that he is an ass-man.

  49. Maria Menounos 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Hotter than French Onion soup!

  50. Helena Bonham Carter 85th Annual Academy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a fucking nightmare!

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