Here are the rest of the Oscars because after spending all night on Twitter I can’t talk about them anymore without living in fear of another Seth MacFarlane musical number. Holy shit, a man who can sing! What unexpected wonders you possess, Hollywood! In the meantime, if you’re looking for Anne Hathaway‘s nipple dress and/or Jennifer Lawrence‘s breasts, they got their own posts because I didn’t see either of the movies they won for which I’m sure wasn’t what they were after anyway. “Well, the script’s good, but if I’m nominated for an award can I make my nips look like giant triangle knives? That’s mostly what I’m interested in.”
Photos: Getty
How nice of her to wear a dress that matches his hair.
How many watts is that dress?
Love me some Maria, but this is a fail. She is also starting to enter Jlo territory. Not good.
Dress by “Draperies R Us”.
Where is PETA when you need them?
Yeah, they should come and rip that dress right off her.
is she supposed to be the Doppler effect?
That is the definition of something just thrown together. Oh, and the dress too.
That dress and pose would look great on Salma Hayek.
“Ok, great! Now hold still…. Bring Jon Hamm in, please. She´s ready.”
Nope. Not any better from this angle. However, she has given us so many great moments, she gets a pass on this one.
Barks is right.
She must have HUGE tits.
Bruce Vilanch cleans up nice
This is the exact moment that Channing Tatum remembered that he’s Channing Tatum and he doesn’t fuck fat chicks
Paula Abdul 15 years and 900 bottles of Vicodin ago? Think about it.
Do the photogs at these events just flat out tell the broads ‘ok, now turn around so we can get pictures of your ass’? Classy.
I could live out the rest of my days inside that dress, happy as heck.
Wow, what a shocker, she wore black.
Designer gowns, red carpet, fancy hairstyles & fabulous jewelry – the only thing that could make this event even classier is me, balls deep in her fartbox. I’d wear a monacle, of course.
Awesome.
Don’t forget your top hat.
If she had done more of that she would have been nominated for an Oscar last night.
ok, so I can’t get an assault rifle, but you libtardos are perfectly fine with allowing the criminally insane to wander the streets?
Nice of the psych ward to give Halle Berry a day pass for the Oscars.
This is what Pink might look like, if Pink was a woman.
If her movies all suck, lose money, and her acting skills barely qualify her for a pudding commercial, wtf is she even at the oscars for?
Who let the Rottweiler in?! Someone give her a bone before she chews up the rug. No wait, that’s what she did to get in. Possibly both.
She was fuckin awesome in Zero Dark Thirty also. I like this chick.
Whatever magazine columnist said this chick was just “average” is certifiably fucking stupid.
Love those eyes…
Considering that she is wearing my haircut, still looks hot as hell.
Hot is hot.
Armpit fat is just struggling to get free!
Meee sooo hungeeee.
“Who farted?! Must. Hold. Breath.”
She’s staring at the mothership.
Bring on the Jon Hamm jokes.
And yet, it’s so totally her.
She will always be the dumpee.
I always wondered whatever became of Björk’s swan.
I think Jennifer looked stunning!
“Jessica! Jessica! How high can you count?”
she has always been beautiful and classy
Yes, but I think she has really blossomed since she left Tom.
I didn’t know that Cirque du Soleil movie got any nominations?!?
I’m just over this hairstyle— grow it out!
“Tom Hooper gave me this medal for outstanding breath control.”
dislike the hair
Despite my apparent dotage (or maybe as a result of it), I have just come to realize that this is a very attractive lady. As of last night she has a new fan. An old but new fan…
I still haven’t made up my mind about her. She can look good, and she can look average.
“My seed goes here.”
“This is my son, and I shall call him Bobby Drake.”
As far as I’m concerned, it’s pretty difficult to say anything bad about George Clooney. From everything I’ve read he is really a great guy. And Stacy looks superb. She’s always nice to look at, but she looks exceptional in that dress.
Looking back on the women George Clooney has been “associated” with, it’s pretty clear that he is an ass-man.
Hotter than French Onion soup!
She is a fucking nightmare!