The 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards

January 14th, 2013 // 122 Comments

And we’re spent with the Golden Globes already, so here’s the rest of the fancy people there including hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler who based on the illegal YouTube clips I could barely understand, did an awesome job calling everyone in Hollywood crybaby assholes to their faces. But before everyone thinks they’re so witty and clever, we’re going to post photos of Lady GaGa bending over and ripping her pants which is probably the most sophisticated form of comedy there is. I wore a top hat the whole time.

Photos: Getty

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  1. Jon Hamm Jennifer Westfeldt 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she always smile like that??? I saw a movie of hers recently and she’s really cute and charming. She should try showing some teeth!

  2. Jessica Chastain 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Are her boobs super-high or does that dress just droop super-low? It’s like an optical illusion. I can’t tell what’s going on.

  3. Heidi Klum 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those tits are looking a little tired fraulein.

  4. Jessica Chastain 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I suspect Vulcan ancestry.

  5. Anne Hathaway 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    We’ve forgotten about that accidental landing strip viewing a few weeks ago.
    Really, we’ve put it completely out of our minds.

  6. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s nice.
    Her face is looking quite different. I wonder if she’s had some “work”.

  7. Tina Fey 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s the cutest one of the bunch.

  8. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Very unfortunate choice of lipstick.

  9. Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Kurt Barlow
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet Jesus, with those ears she really does look like one of the Keibler elves.

  10. Anne Hathaway 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Kurt Barlow
    Commented on this photo:

    Julia Roberts, Rosario Dawson and Anne Hathaway… all beautiful until they smile.

  11. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Hugh Heffner.

  12. Amanda Seyfried 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Jake
    Commented on this photo:

    I won’t be graphic,but I see that face and think of one thing.

  13. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a total butterface.

  14. Jessica Chastain 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck did she do to her hair??? Awful.

  15. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew.

  16. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like Selena Gomez. They will look like hot 20 year olds when they are 50.

  17. Amanda Seyfried 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    If only there wasn’t so much crazy behind those eyes.

  18. Anne Hathaway 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a few short years away from Sarah Jessica Parker territory.

  19. Katharine McPhee 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s come along quite nicely since her American Idol days.

  20. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s bad when Mayim Bialik looks hotter than you from the neck up.

  21. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Tats look so classy with evening gowns.

  22. Amy Poehler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she look spectacular, especially for a woman I don’t find particularly attractive.

  23. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s the purtiest truck stop waitress in the whole wide world!

  24. Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    How does she that dressed up but forget to wash her hair?

  25. Heidi Klum 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Gary Grant
    Commented on this photo:

    Those Golden Globes have seen better days.

  26. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Gary Grant
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see her boobs finally come in.

  27. Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Gary Grant
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress is trying hard to give her some boobage.

  28. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Gary Grant
    Commented on this photo:

    I always thought it was the other one who had bigger boobs.

  29. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    popwilleatitself
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks frightened and she’s frightening me.

  30. Jon Hamm Jennifer Westfeldt 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Permanently dislocated jaw.

  31. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Sandoucheky
    Commented on this photo:

    When did they start inviting Bush Babies to these things?

  32. anonym

    TINA FEY was goddamn hot in that other dress.

    She has curvy hips, and the camera panned around to her big ass on stage.

    hot as fuck. Sit on my face and talk nerdy to me.

  33. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    hal85
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not unattractive but she’s incredibly nondescript, isn’t she?

  34. Anne Hathaway 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Lou Braccant
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude should play The Joker in the new reboot

  35. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like Clooney brought his beard again.

  36. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    glam
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a very pretty gal. I’m sure some drag queen talked her into that make up telling her she’ll look fierce.

  37. Zooey Deschanel 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    caught a glimpse of The Hamm

  38. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    a2
    Commented on this photo:

    oh no, he is turning into hugh hef. he looks sleazy, never thought it until this pic. i can see it now, he will have a new 20something on his arm in 3, 5, 7 and 9yrs. why cant he just settle with someone and be happy not look for all the young models

  39. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    monkeydoodoo
    Commented on this photo:

    who the fuck is this?

  40. Jon Hamm Jennifer Westfeldt 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Jayme
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure what you guys see, but they are a beautiful couple.

  41. Sarah Hyland 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a hobbit version of mila kunis

  42. Tina Fey Amy Poehler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    … and then, Jodie Foster woke up.

  43. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    let’s stop with the nonsense that she’s hot

  44. Kaley Cuoco 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Helen Bonham Carter looks great these days!

  45. Hayden Panettiere 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a long way to go to get a free dress from Vivenne Westwood.

  46. Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    Sliver
    Commented on this photo:

    LOVE the dress.

  47. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    could she be more ethnic? this outfit and hairdo scream “I’m a Mexican!”

  48. Jessica Chastain 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    hair and dress are unattractive. she also is too skinny all of the sudden. her face is gorgeous with a little bit more plumpness to it. or maybe it’s just the heinous hairstyle…

  49. George Clooney Stacy Keibler 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks tired.

  50. Eva Longoria 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks so stupid. I’m getting to where I can’t stand this phony bee-otch. i hope she goes away.

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