The 68th Annual Golden Globes

January 17th, 2011 // 222 Comments

Do I even need to write anything?

Despite honoring the star of Little Fockers with a Cecil B. DeMille Award, playing the music on Pacino, and nominating The Tourist as a comedy just so Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie would show up, The 68th Annual Golden Globes still managed to attract 98% of Hollywood last night and no one saw fit to rob their houses. On top of that, Aaron Sorkin won Best Screenplay for basically adapting a book into The Social Network over the entirely original Inception, so excuse me if I want to gloss over the entire event by focusing solely on January Jones’ cleavage parade because it’s not a three-hour long farce. Although I’d still watch if it was even though I can’t seem to separate her from Betty Draper. No, really, I half-expected icicles to shoot out of her nipples on the red carpet which is how I’ve always interpreted the character. A 1960s Jennifer Aniston if you will.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. iamhomosquirrel

    WTF? Why do Brad Pitt and Christian Bale look like shit? They’re among my top 5 insanely-hot-guys-i-want-to-do-bad-things-to list. At least Ryan Reynolds still looks foine.

  2. iamhomosquirrel

    And Lumen seems to have packed on a few. She usually looks like skeletor. Always had fat fingers though.

  3. zeke

    So natalie portman acknowledged mila kunis in her acceptance speech and called her mila “sweet lips” kunis.

    i wonder which lips she was talking about???

  4. Golden Globes 2011
    RATA
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ called and he wants his mojo back

  5. Golden Globes 2011
    RATA
    Commented on this photo:

    pretty…

  6. Golden Globes 2011
    DKNY
    Commented on this photo:

    Still looks like a tranny.

  7. Golden Globes 2011
    RATA
    Commented on this photo:

    ass: nonexistent.

  8. Golden Globes 2011
    RATA
    Commented on this photo:

    Tranny McChuby

  9. Golden Globes 2011
    Commented on this photo:

    And the winner of the Ginger Globes award goes to…

  10. Golden Globes 2011
    RATA
    Commented on this photo:

    love the look…

  11. Golden Globes 2011
    RATA
    Commented on this photo:

    what’s with the extra long t-shirt, and that awful awful hair color?? I loved her as a red head.

  12. Golden Globes 2011
    Commented on this photo:

    Just For Men called. They said next time either dye or shave the goat. And by goat they didn’t mean Angelina. This time.

  13. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he could still pull off the Newsies outfit…

  14. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    making the most of that low crack (also useful as a plumber)

  15. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    well at least he washed his hair

  16. dobbs

    You have got to be kidding that you think Inception is a better script than Social Network. One’s a masterpiece and the other is gibberish. The right script won.

    • MudPhud

      Correcto, Dobbs. Even though I enjoy contorted science fiction more than the average bear, Inception was poorly done with faux gravitas. The Social Network was entertaining AND with dynamite dialog.

  17. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    his teeth are incredible

  18. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    snooki

  19. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    so this is WITHOUT botox?

  20. Golden Globes 2011
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    WHO put her in this??

  21. How did a movie in which none of it’s actors were nominated for *anything* deserve to win Best Movie? The production team basically awarded itself, which is essentially what the Golden Globes is all about anyway.

    Jervais was fucking spot-on all night, and worth tivo’ing this hot mess. If there was a single speech that didn’t touch on the inside joke that the Globes is a complete fucking farce, I must have missed it. No, wait… Sorkin was his usual ass kissing self, and even went so far as to insult the audience and the average person at home.

  22. Emma

    The article stated: “Despite honoring the star of Little Fockers with a Cecil B. DeMille Award,.. On top of that, Aaron Sorkin won Best Screenplay for basically adapting a book into The Social Network over the entirely original Inception” (Blinks) Are you 12-years-old? Is “Little Fockers” really all that you know about Robert DeNiro? If so…sad, Dude, sad. And by the way, “Inception” isn’t ‘entirely’ original. The premise is based on a 1984 film titled “Dreamscape,” starring Dennis Quaid. In “Dreamscape,” these gifted people went into the dreams of those suffering from chronic nightmares and helped, or attempted to help, them face the horror in their dreams so they could get on with their lives. Of course, one of them was a sadist who got off on making the dreams worse, and caused the death of several people. Dennis Quaid was very gifted. It was up to him to stop the bad guy/sadist, who was paid to enter into the President’s dream and kill him. it’s a wonderful film. You should rent it sometime.

    • zubb

      Oh wow. I’m pretty sure he knows who DeNiro is. I mean, we all remember ‘Godsend’ and ‘Hide and Seek’. Also, I watched Dreamscape a ton of times when I was younger, and your comment is nonsense. Just because two movies share a common plot thread doesn’t mean one is ‘based’ on the other any more any comic book movie or romantic comedy is based on every other comic book movie or romantic comedy because they all have a costumed hero or quirky-nice-klutzy-yet-secretly-beautiful-heroine-who-would-get-they-guy-if-not-for-that-misunderstanding-oh-she-got-him-anyway.

  23. Golden Globes 2011
    munzter
    Commented on this photo:

    More and more plastic :|

  24. Golden Globes 2011
    crys
    Commented on this photo:

    is she wearing ANY makeup??

  25. Golden Globes 2011
    Username
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Britney have a makeover?

  26. uncle bill

    you ask for a “Cheaper Look”?
    ……………….just impossible, folks!!

  27. XFX

    Oh! So *that* is why it’s called “Golden Globes”!

  28. Golden Globes 2011
    Ally
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like an angel! This chick is so underrated – she is hotter than ScarJo and Blake Lively put together!

  29. bimbamboing

    Like always, there’re winners and losers and ‘the winner takes it all’ or ‘another bites the dust’. Most at the time you can count down on your fingers who’s going to win. But it would be nice to see an ‘underdog’ winning for once.

  30. cc

    OMG, January Jones looked stunning. Face, cleavage the whole works. Almost compensated for the dreadful broadcast and BS selections.

  31. Galtacticus

    It’s almost like the ‘underdog’ doesn’t exist!? And that’s why the ‘winner’ gets most of the time the votes…

  32. molly

    I can’t begin to understand why a movie about fucking facebook was even made.

  33. Golden Globes 2011
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the face of someone who’s thinking, “EVERYONE is f*cking Bombshell McGee.”

  34. Golden Globes 2011
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to let that shit wear off completely

  35. Golden Globes 2011
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “You look like hammered dog shit.”
    “Don’t talk that way to me!”
    “I apologize, you look like regular shit.”

  36. Golden Globes 2011
    lalalalooo
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I crazy to think he looks better as a psychopathic businessman?

  37. Golden Globes 2011
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Aaaahhh….she brought out the “Pre-Divorce Tits” tonight.

  38. Golden Globes 2011
    dambdydum
    Commented on this photo:

    Who invited carrot top to the GG?

  39. Master Spook

    Psssst….! Boo!

  40. Golden Globes 2011
    lalalalooo
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a chubby 8 year old slut with implants and access to her mom’s high heels

  41. Golden Globes 2011
    almondo
    Commented on this photo:

    where’s kermit?

  42. Golden Globes 2011
    almondo
    Commented on this photo:

    shaun white looks awful.

  43. Golden Globes 2011
    almondo
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s nice that her stylist thought to dye her to match her dress.

  44. Golden Globes 2011
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    I LOVE THEM!!!! SOOOOOOOO ADORABLE

  45. Golden Globes 2011
    TheCrow471
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the point of her even showing up if she’s not going to show off those glorious marshmallows.

  46. Golden Globes 2011
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    The dress avoids dropping any popcorn during the show

  47. Golden Globes 2011
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    ew I could never understand the appeal.

  48. Golden Globes 2011
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    The dress is merging – Avatar like – with her hair.

  49. Golden Globes 2011
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    EW!

  50. Golden Globes 2011
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t worry Cinderella, you WILL go to the ball!

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