The 53rd Annual Grammy Awards

February 14th, 2011 // 164 Comments

I already made a post about Katy Perry’s breasts – Why say more? – but here are some more red carpet shots that I honestly can’t get it up for because, let’s be frank, the Grammys are the most sycophantic, middle of the road awards show out there. They take the blandest, corporate music recorded and fellate it on live television for three hours. Just look at the nominees: Lady GaGa, Chris Brown, Justin Bieber. It’s like a 14-year-old girl’s iPod. Had Robert Pattinson made a dance song, you’d still hear the shrieking hovering over the Rockies, and one guy going, “No, seriously, an egg?”

Photos: Getty, WireImage

superficial

  1. Fish, you might have warned us there were no “nearly bare” breasts in the photo montage and saved me the time. You already knew none of us gave a rats ass about the actual Grammy’s right?

  2. cumbucket

    JLo got no talent

  3. jojo
    Commented on this photo:

    Umm Nicki..? Your roots are showing.

  4. IttyBittyTittyCommittee

    What’s the deal with the size of Selena Gomez’s head?
    Is that a mexican thing??

  5. jojo
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh, With those doe eyes you just want to rub her muzzle.

  6. jojo
    Commented on this photo:

    Raise your hand if you have seen Justin Bieber’s mangina?

  7. DFCtomm
    Commented on this photo:

    Bride of Freakenstein!

  8. Sugar
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the first time I’ve ever thought Rhianna was pretty.

  9. Lauraa
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks good. but she’s still trying too hard.

  10. Whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Ciara, something to remember: when in public, try not to draw attention to your GIGANTIC BOAT FEET.

  11. jojo

    Jenny from the block has morphed into Jenny from the shore.

  12. Commented on this photo:

    selena lookin guuuuud

  13. Commented on this photo:

    Grace Jones Returns

    • Bucky Barnes

      If Grace Jones and Elsa Lanchester had a baby it might look like this.
      “Me Tarzan, you jungle Bride of Frankenstein.”

  14. SOMEBODY found their elliptical machine.
    Jenny actually looks…. looks…. *deep breath
    Looks Good…. Never thought I would utter those words….

  15. Maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a serious case of the manface.

  16. Maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Beyonce turn into a white girl?

  17. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    That photo needs a thought bubble… completely blank, of course.

  18. flavorfest
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my, look at that right gastrocnemius!

  19. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    We know that the backside of those legs doesn’t look nearly as good as the front side.

  20. WTF
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like an idiot. That scotch-brite wig isn’t helping anybody or anything, other than low, mildewy ceilings.

  21. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    The scary thing is, that section around the hips is actually skin-tight…

  22. flavorfest
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these is not like the other.

  23. bronsoIX
    Commented on this photo:

    Did someone ask her to do a math problem?

  24. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking stupid does not automatically mean that others will assume you’re enormously creative & original. It just means that you look stupid.

    • WHOPPER++++

      It’s the latest fashion!(for dodo birds) The whore, with liver-lips, can even make ROSEANE BARR look sexy, in an outfit people at the Mardi Gras wouldn’t dare wear… This Bozo, or Bozoette, tops the idiocity of ‘em all!

  25. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Complimentary designer colostomy bag?”
    “No thank-you, I brought my own.”

  26. Commented on this photo:

    Marching bands don’t win Grammys.

  27. See Alice

    Whats the reason for watching other people get awards ?

  28. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pardon me while I whip this out!”

  29. OnTheRealThough

    I want to eat Rihanna’s ass.

  30. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Beyonce is turning Caucasian. Will that help or hurt future album sales?

    • reformed_druid

      Hurt I would imagine. The only white woman in these pictures is Gwyneth Paltrow. Not very good company.

  31. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Mel Gibson said to keep an eye on that guy sitting behind her.

  32. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right, the chrome off a trailer hitch at 40 mph, so help me God.”

  33. Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    They look so happy together……so excited to be at the big hoo-ha event.
    See the joy?

  34. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to Buffalo Bill after Silence of the Lambs? Now we know.
    “Mmmwah! I’d fuck me!”

  35. FastEddie
    Commented on this photo:

    Her dress looks like its been badly photoshopped

  36. ricer roney

    Rihanna is just talentless island skank. she cant dance and cant carry a tune. all she does is that island skank hoe dance that makes her look like, well, island dirty ass skank! she needs to stop performing and get beaten up again by chris brown cuz thats the only time she looked any good.

  37. cc

    ‘It’s like a 14-year-old girl’s iPod.’

    EXACTLY.

  38. DFCtomm
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this qualify as a series of belts? Cause I had 2011 in the “When is someone going to show up wearing just a belt” pool.

  39. bitingontinfoil

    Nice LiLo extensions.

  40. Neen
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she trying to be the black Lady Gaga?

    • noooooooooo

      No, she’s just trying to give you reason to avoid buying her albums

    • I was just thinking the same thing!!!! She is trying and failing miserably , I wonder instead of wearing a meat dress if she’ll wear a fried chicken dress with hot biscuit stilettos…

    • spectacledowlgirl

      indeed. she’s trying to copy lady gaga, that’s the first thing on my mind when i saw this pict

  41. Shlongface

    Wow, it’s like a who’s who of people I don’t give a shit about. I love it!

  42. Saying, just

    The DIRT button jumps up a pixel on mouseover.
    Just sayin’..

  43. clyde
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit she her face looks like pre-break down Britney here.

  44. Deacon Jones

    J-Lo looks pretty good. (Did I just type that?)

  45. Virgodoll
    Commented on this photo:

    How does someone sit wearing something like that?

  46. Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you get really drunk and try to take your thong off over your headl.

  47. anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    ciara is in 3 pictures WHY? or is this What Not To Wear? I thought it was The Superficial! and who the H is ciara?

  48. testington
    Commented on this photo:

    How does this overrated bitch get all the hype? Her album was average at best and I’ve yet to see a picture of her that doesn’t in make me want to smack her in the face

  49. Jess
    Commented on this photo:

    Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen!

  50. anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s halloween and wretched rihanna is a dressed as a pipe cleaner.

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