The 2011 Art of Elysium Gala

Apparently the red carpet industry hates black people because at least 50 events happened this weekend when we all should’ve been reflecting on how much Martin Luther King, Jr. wants me to take naps instead of work. (That’s not racist.) So let’s kick things off with The 2011 Art of Elysium “Heaven” Gala considering its only highlights include Julia Stiles’ face proving there’s no way Dexter banged her – voluntarily, Leighton Meester and Amber Heard pretending its fashionable not to have breasts and Gerard Butler trying to bang Eva Mendes. Oh, also, James Franco reminded Kirsten Dunst who’s the only one who escaped the Spider-Man movies unscathed which she responded to by finding her car using sonar. “SCREE! SCREE! — Oh, right, next to the gazebo. Doy.”

Photos: Getty