That’s not how you find Easter Eggs.

April 2nd, 2010 // 128 Comments

Because she’s full of the spirit, Lindsay Lohan fell on her drunk ass again last night while leaving an Xbox party which is clearly not a sign she needs rehab. Who thinks like that?

On that note, The Superficial is off for Zombie Man weekend, but will return Monday to blame Lindsay’s parents for her death (Saturday 5:37 p.m.), and kick off the new Guess How Many Abortions Jesse James Made His Mistresses Get Game. Bring the kids!

See you Monday.

superficial

  1. Dread not

    @ 12
    Sunday afternoon? Not good, RPGhost. There’s no way in hizzell that Lilo is gonna share the spotlight with anybody, let alone some desert dwelling, carpenter jew magician, cross dresser, when she checks out. Odds are probably in the millions, maybe billions. But, hey, if you place the bet, the payoff will be phenomenal. Enough to keep you in whores and beers ’til you die. *thumbs up*

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  3. LegalPayment

    Yeah, took photos of those jerks who preyed on women and kids and sent them to exile! Airline tighter security checks does not applies to tighter in-house checks?

  4. Natalie

    I think she looks really pretty in these pics. Except for the falling part. She should leave her hair dark. Better than when her hair was white and her skin was orange and she looked all old and wrinkly.

  5. LL

    #49 you’re soooo right hahaha

    are you f**** serious #32??!?! you managed to disrespect other people twice and say you’d never disrespect other man’s belief in just 3 sentences. You must be a genius.Oh no wait is called HYPOCRISY.

  6. LL

    #49 you’re soooo right hahaha

    are you f**** serious #32??!?! you managed to disrespect other people twice and say you’d never disrespect other man’s belief in just 3 sentences. You must be a genius.Oh no wait is called HYPOCRISY.

  7. grim reaper

    I don’t understand how but my scythe missed.Oh wait,did she fall?

  8. grim reaper

    How about a nice Easter weekend? Sailing down the river Hades?

  9. His Huge Greatness Himself

    It’s way too early for x-mas.Otherwise i would’ve sent her the three Scrooge ghost first.

  10. Lol will miss you :)

  11. Thank you for your sharing!

  12. Darth

    How much does a kidney do on the mainstream market?

  13. cellphone

    Lindsay Lohan’s kidney= California dried plum

  14. Starmaker

    Hollywood doesn’t suffer from the credit-crunch at all.There’s plenty of work for established actresses….. It’s best for her to get healthy first.

  15. Whoops. I thought Lindsay had worn something respectable and flattering until I saw her sloppy, atrophied gut. The pants aren’t helping anything either.

    @ 25 – “Yes, it was on this day that people like “Fish” killed our prince”
    By “people”, you mean “sinners”, correct?
    That was all part of God’s brilliant plan. Design something to fail so that probably 90% + of all people end up in Hell, “provide a solution”, make everyone feel guilty over something that was God’s fault to begin with.
    Oh yeah, and after Satan’s 90% + success rate at leading people to destruction, call that train wreck a glorious victory for God. Sheesh.

    @ 32 – “I think about 70% of this nation is Christian…”
    I figure it’s more like 5% or less. Most of those others are just keeping up social appearances or something. They don’t give a shit about God’s Will or anything Jesus did. They’d kick Jesus in the balls for a dollar or some pussy. Ann Coulter, for example. Can you imagine the apostle Peter spewing all that evil bile? Please.

  16. Nero

    How about that blockbuster movie with Bradley Cooper what she turned down? It would have been an instant comeback!

  17. @ 32 – We do tiptoe around those dim-witted muzzie fools though, don’t we? Thank goodness for the anonymity of the internet. Of course the muzzies will probably pick a random 8 year old girl off the street, rape her and boil her in acid just to make sure peace and justice are upheld. The Invisible Pink Unicorn sees what you do.

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  20. Rhialto

    She would have been a couple of millions richer for sure #69.More coke and booze money to her.

  21. Gando

    She’s caught up and stuck in a viscious cycle?

  22. @ 17 – ” When I first looked at the lead picture I thought some guy had dropped his pants or that Lohan had pulled them down.”
    Yeah, I figured she had her head up someones butt looking for the drugs they swallowed.

  23. el diablo

    I want one of these t-shirts to wear this weekend:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:BGCTCF15.jpg

  24. Have some respect

    Haha you losers like Justifieable still have not answered my question. Why don’t we mock the jews and mulims? It’a always the christians. And again, if you don’t like it here, leave. If I had my way you would not even be here.

  25. Mike Nike

    I have to admit it, seeing her mug plastered all over the place for doing absolutely nothing is really annoying.

  26. Stu Gavin

    #78 obviously doesn’t watch the Fox News channel, their sole purpose in life is hating Muslims and loving Israel.

  27. justifiable

    #78 “If you don’t like it here, leave”? Since you’ve been the one who got their sorry hypocritical ass kicked recently, have the “simple courtesy” to take your own advice. I’d love to know how “have some respect” works with your sulky little rant of “why don’t we mock the jews and mulims[sic]” and “If I had my way you would not even be here”. Try signing in as “mentally disconnected” or “petulant vicious xenophobe” so everyone can see your true colors.

    I guess since you assume Christianity has a 70% majority (your figures) in this country you feel everyone should be tiptoeing around it (because like hell you’re not a Christian) and kicking other religions in the balls instead because majority rules, right? Anyone who doesn’t agree should leave, right? Since Islam is the fastest growing religion on the planet, it’s not too outlandish to assume that in about 75 years IT might have a majority in this country – do so hope you enjoy eating your words then.

    While I don’t go out of my way to kneecap anyone’s religion and I don’t think the Fish should have made the gratuitous zombie man remark, the reason Christianity takes it in the shorts so much is that most of the people who loudly proclaim themselves to be Christians usually do it while displaying a gross hypocrisy and a massive intolerance that directly contradicts the spirit of their founder. I’m with Gandhi: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ..”

    And as for “why don’t we mock the jews and muslims”? What rock have you been living under? Do fatwas against Danish cartoonists ring a bell? If you feel people haven’t been indulging in enough bashing them to suit your tastes, perhaps it’s because they don’t know enough about either religion to do it properly, while pretty much everyone in this country has a nodding acquaintance with the basic tenets of Christianity – so at least they can spot hypocrisy more easily. So I suggest you take a course in comparative religion so that you can get enough ammunition to really spew some bile against both – I’m sure you’ll “have some respect” while you do it, too.

  28. britney's clitney

    Speaking of losers (#78) quit while you’re ahead, asshole. You’re the one who doesn’t seem to like it here with all the Xian mocking so you can leave anytime. You won’t be missed.

  29. Sin

    We looooove it here #78 “have some respect”…

    but what are you exactly, #78?? you say “we” and “you”…
    what do you mean? christians/others, american/foreingners, you/humans???

  30. holeman

    Pic #5 is the same face people make when they shit themselves and know you heard it…

  31. PostmortemG

    Apparently that ´ass´ in the background is just a random guy´s elbow popping out from his shirt sleeve. As for this ´lady´… damn. I think we´re all just waiting for her to die, as many have pointed out. I love this site so much. =D

  32. 78. Never let it be said that this site isn’t frequented by equal opportunity haters.

    Christians, Jews, Muslims, fucking Buddhists for that matter, … you are all cognitively deficient cretins, and among the most gullible people on the planet. Lot’s wife turned to stone, rising from the dead, parting the Red Sea, Passover, a talking burning fucking bush, reincarnation, a god who wants women to wear burkhas?

    I’m not even the same species as you ignorant cult-loving fucks.

  33. Nameless

    The real question is… Did she actually fall or was she just photographed in her regular job as a streetwalker and assuming the normal position for a blowjob?

  34. Richport's Gay Ghost's Schlong's Foreskin That Grew Back After Ritual Circumcision

    @86 You forgot Mormons with magic talking salamanders and Christ’s second act in America. Talk about a long con. L. Ron Hubard’s got nothing on that.

  35. Wow, did I miss the Christian-bashing party?

    This nation was founded by Christians, and is still majority Christian. Look it up. Why do you think Obama had to cover up his heritage? He would have never gotten the votes!!
    Just because a person isn’t *perfect* doesn’t mean they don’t believe. That “ohhh Christians are such hypocrites” is such a cop-out. Damn near everyone is a hypocrite; that is human nature.

    If you want some real horror stories, look up the oh-so-tolerant nature of the “religion of peace,” Islam. Particularly the way the women are treated.

    @68 Coulter hit too close to home for ya? “Evil bile,” please. I know she isn’t warm and fuzzy, but evil? Gimme one example…I’ll wait.

    Oh, and blow it out your ass, Fish. No one cares where you’re following Perez this weekend.

  36. WTF

    How the fuck did picture’s of Lindsey Lohan turn into a religious debate…….WTF

    leads me to two conclusions.

    1> Lindsey Lohan is our new Messiah

    2> As Ms. Lohan is the new Messiah our world is completely Fucked!

    Happy Easter everyone!

  37. justifiable

    #89 “History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes”
    .
    “They [the clergy] believe that any portion of power confided to me, will be exerted in opposition to their schemes. And they believe rightly; for I have sworn upon the altar of god, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”

    That’s Thomas Jefferson on Christianity – so much for the Limbaugh myth that our founding fathers were Christians and that its tenets somehow involved in our nation’s founding. We didn’t fight a religious war with England, and liberty and the natural laws Jefferson called on to justify our independence are not to be found in the Bible. Washington, Franklin, Hancock and many more were Freemasons. Jefferson was a Deist, not a Christian – he held no store by the Bible, or indeed any other scripture, believing they were wriiten solely by men. John Adams was a Unitarian and referred to the Incarnation of Christ as an “awful blasphemy”. While these men may have had a belief in a supreme being of Nature, Christ and scripture wasn’t big in their lives, no matter what Rushie tells you.

    If you want to keep sucking away on the Limbaugh sugar tit, that’s your choice, but the one thing these visionaries did believe in was religious tolerance, and they knew they could only maintain that by keeping religion – majority or not – the hell out of the government they formed. Believe whatever you wish, and if Christianity comforts and sustains you and gives you peace, I’m truly glad for you – go and practice it with the freedom that Jefferson & Co. wanted you to have. And that should include the Fish not making snide remarks at your religion’s expense. But that’s as far as it goes. If you think your smug assertion that Christianity is in the majority in this country should grant you some sort of privilege outside of your church or your home and allow you dictate how the country is run, you’d be wrong . And our founding fathers would have bitch-smacked you silly for trying to claim their efforts were done in Christ’s name.

    Doing lip service to a belief is easy. Putting those beliefs into practice is the hard part. Saying that we’re all hypocrits and that it’s human nature is a cop-out – if you can’t practice what you preach at least have the insight and the grace to be ashamed of yourself and try to change your behavior. But don’t call yourself something while your acts make you out to be a liar and expect that no one will notice – and comment.

    Oh, yeah, Ann Coulter and evil. “I’ve never seen people [widows of 9/11 dead] enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much, And by the way, how do we know their husbands weren’t planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they better hurry up and appear in Playboy.”

    That looks like envy, anger, callousness, lack of charity, vulgarity, self-importance, hubris, deliberate cruelty and all manner of nastiness toward people who suffered a horrible tragedy that they didn’t deserve and never did her any harm – that’s at least 2 deadly sins and a lot of foul-smelling bile that could scarcely be called Christian sentiments,. If you want to defend her as some sort of Christian Values poster girl, you’re too late – I think the Muslim jihadists already have her under contract.

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  39. Burt

    Gees, people. A tiny little woman like that in designer shoes being ambushed/pushed by male paparazzi…Of course she fell on her ass.

  40. Respects peoples religions, no matter which one.

    happy f*****g Easter to you too

    I miss the old superficial writer, who wasn’t an obnoxious f*****g knob.

    Because, P.S.: You are.

  41. LegalRansom

    Christ was crucified mercilessly and that the connection here, with the same hooligans attacking the women and even used children to extort, humiliate, harass physically and mentally! Stupidity is not a crime but extortion and greed are the act of the criminal mind! With greedy media supporting such jerks for huge coverage and that’s where how people besides Madoff got away for all those extortion worldwide using him as the ONLY scrape-goat for the whole scam?

    If there are international driving license, do you need license for every US state you drove by? If drugs and alcohol are freely available, smuggled from state to state, where are the control measures? Persecute doctors, psychiatrist and let those drug pushers got away? If you are the poor spouse, you can get away from responsibilities to kids, provide nothing for them, claimed jobless, waiting for lawyer’s huge payout through public abuse of their famous mum, abuse alimony paid to be used to f–k around in the presence of your own kids? Use kids to even legally extort through conservators to pay for traveling expenses, big home? Abuse the weakness in the legal system using “those poor kids”? Those jerks can even get away, pride themselves publicly by making 16 yr old teens pregnant? Still f–k with 1st ex-wife after divorced, internationally seeking for 2nd divorce to legally extort? With 4 kids to take care, you can still find time to f–k? Too much alimony paid with a big home and 2 kids to held as hostage for legal ransom?

  42. Darth

    *Raises his arms* A blissful Easter celebration to all of you!

  43. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Maybe some serious whiplashes would force her back on the right track?

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  45. See Alice

    I like a drunk Lindsey . Makes me think I might have a chance …….

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