That’s coke.

May 21st, 2010 // 73 Comments

Like most people I punched 25 lawyers in the face when I found out Lindsay posted bail and won’t be arrested upon arrival at LAX. Fortunately there’s a powdery light at the end of that tunnel because the judge who threw the book at her believes Lindsay has violated her probation. Which is surprising because it’s not like TMZ has photos of her at Cannes this week partying in front of lines of coke. Oh, wait.

At this point, I’m just waiting for the judge to reveal she’s psychic because I don’t see any conceivable way for this to go worse for Lindsay.

JUDGE: Ms. Lohan, tell me what you did last night.
LINDSAY: Read a book.
JUDGE: Wrong. You snorted coke off your sister. What did you do this morning?
LINDSAY: Ate breakfast.
JUDGE: Wrong. You snorted coke off your mom because your sister was in the shower. What did you do before arriving to court?
LINDSAY: Snorted coke?
JUDGE: WRONG! You were out so you called your dad and he said he’d bring some if you go on Access Hollywood with him.
LINDSAY: *cries*
SUPERFICIAL WRITER: *laughs at his computer*
AMERICA: *comes together as a nation*
TERRORISM: *quits*

Fin.

Photos: TMZ
superficial

  1. eatme

    fucking LOL.

    I’ve done enough coke in my life to know the situation. Shit, just the credit card alone is enough to raise an eyebrow. Add the glass table top and you got a situation.

    PS they are very messy

  2. Melissa Munster

    Why do I not see any coke? Could someone point it out for me?

  3. Poshicles

    Ummmm. . . . . that photo is grainy and misleading and why is it such a big deal she does coke, so does half of hollywood. Other people may hide it better but its very common and if they don’t do coke they are on some of the other 1000 of drugs that are out there. I love just because people want to feel better about themselves it is ok to emotionally rape them because they are in the public eye. Saying she should just OD how much on an insensitive bastard can you be. She obviously has things she needs to work on but I would kill myself if while I was working on myself people said the things they say about her. She is obviously not ready to deal with her emotional baggage. She is a human being, and we should treat her like on.

  4. cc

    Nice friends Lindsay. Hard to believe they’d have any familiarity with illegal substances.

    Still, I wish the CIA would leave her alone.

  5. Thanks for taking time to write this post…

  6. Jasmin

    FISH – great post. Haven’t laughed so hard in a while!

    Thank you!

    She is such a train wreck; cant help but watch.

  7. Krys

    WTF
    Everyone knows that LL is a raging cokewhore, but are you people blind?
    That is a black phone, and it’s refection, on a table. There is no coke in these pictures.
    Anyone with class knows that when staying in hotels, it’s proper etiquette to reserve the coke snorting festivities for the bathroom.
    I’m sure that the vodka and OJ belongs to Lindsay the Lush, though. You’d think she’d leave the shit alone considering that it’s the reason she has no career, a double chin @ 100lbs, and hangs out with angels such as the beautiful cherubs pictured above. I would say she’ll be dead in 6 months, but I’ve been saying that forever now. This whore’s going to outlive us all. She’s like the Energizer Bunny, if the Energizer Bunny ran off of vodka, RedBull and cocaine.

  8. thank you foe sharing !

  9. Badger Bob

    Such a ladylike way to sit.. and WHO are the people in the photo?!?

  10. captain america

    she tries to fool the united states?
    well, OBVIOUSLY EVERYBODY CAN DO IT!!

  11. obz

    come on dickhead, delete the fucking spam. at least try and prove you read some of the comments rather than just reposting crap and then fucking off to hire some crackwhore to suck your dick

  12. umm

    that’s a pack of cigarettes and a phone. this writer is as lame as tila tequila. dumbasses.

  13. you will be more beautiful once you slip on the christian Louboutin shoes!

  14. Tara V

    Wow, I did not even see th two lines at first… I saw the powdery looking stuff on the side which kind of looked like it been smeared. The teo lines look like a phone….
    Look on the other side of the glass too see it.

  15. Hilarious, – dump cracked joke- lol.

  16. Look out! I Zaiding about

  17. Life makes you more beautiful, because Christian Louboutin

  18. Lazarus

    WOW…another dude writing a gossip blog? even more embarrassing than being photographed with blow.

  19. David Solo

    KAN the Kardashians and their Krap. Kim was so jealous of her sisters that she had to find someone. She has to be in the spotlight. There’s a reason her relationships fail. She’s an OCD Money Grubbing whore. I mean, really? Even Kathy Lee Gifford gave a nice set of candles, and donated to charity in their name. Who expects their family & friends to buy those pricey gifts? Kris H. seems like a really nice guy. She should be a lady & give the ring back. Funny how it was 2Mil when she wanted to brag & now not really worth that. Although I don’t think Kris cares about the gifts, but they are half his. Why is she keeping them and donating cash to charity? Yeah, right…and then getting a tax break! Give the Damn gifts back! You never really setup a residence with Kris, probably didn’t unwrap the gifts and I would venture to say, didn’t write the Thank You notes. I think he should sue her for leading him on. Who gets married and moves into a hotel suite with another couple? Why plan a wedding so close to your next show (Takes NY). RATINGS! ALL Kim and het Momager care about is money. She had barely gotten engaged, when the Mom whisks her away to the priciest stores to register. Mrs. Jenner, stop living through your daughters. I respect Khloe & Kourtney for living their lives. She got married & didn’t think about making concessions. Kim is a Narcissus; married to her work. She had to go for a guy that makes money, but is not as famous as she hopes to be. Maybe she got nervous with the NBA strike, and thought she’d have to support him. She even ran out of the country on business the day she filed for divorce. So much for being heartbroken? She’s a real live tramp!
    .

  20. Rachael

    I just wish all the Kardashians would disappear. Would be very happy to not hear about anything about any of them again. They’re all fake.

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