That was fast. The Kardashian Baby, everyone.

December 29th, 2009 // 50 Comments

It’s barely been two weeks and Kourtney Kardashian is already pimping her newborn son Mason Dash Disick in the latest issue of Life & Style. In fact, I’m pretty sure she gnawed off the umbilical cord just in time for the first shot. No, really, tell me that’s not the face of a woman who wish she Scotch taped the C-Section incision shut because it’s dripping on her foot. You can’t.

Photos: Courtesy of Life & Style
superficial

  1. JiggaJay

    FIRST

  2. Dyldo Mcfistenstein

    Wait a sec… do you mean to tell me that there’s some magical way I can lose holiday pounds fast?!? Woohoo!

  3. Kelley

    @ 1. Good for you … imagine making $1000s on this, simply showing off your baby along with your douchebag boyfriend who thinks even vomit won’t ruin his good looks. Wow.

  4. me

    Beautiful!!!!!!!

  5. SC

    Why is that no one seemed to care when Kendra showed off her baby within days, I believe?!?
    Both babies are gorgeous and they are proud to show them off!

  6. Sixth!

    Sixth!

  7. Wow, let’s all celebrate the fact that someone was out drinking and partying, acted irresponsibly, got knocked up, and produced yet another baby to add to the world’s overpopulation. Isn’t it just so cute?

  8. Seventh!

    Great, I’m thrilled she finally lost all that weight. For a moment there, I kept mistaking her for a beached-whale!

  9. Amy

    Apparently, now that she got paid for the baby photos, she’s selling her kid for only $2.99. It’s right there are the gold seal next to her head.

  10. Toaster Strudel

    Her boyfriend is cute, I’d totally jizz across his face.

  11. crackface

    Hey #7 I think were either related or your the love of my life.

  12. Delgo

    1-877-KARS 4 KIDS

  13. JJ Daddy-O

    More Photoshop, please. They still look vaguely human…

  14. shittin condoms

    wait a sec how the fuck is this bitch famous?

  15. The kid probably burrowed its way out with its horns.

  16. Kate

    Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this man’s striking resemblance to Christian Bale’s American Psycho? Nobody exchange business cards at this baby whoring photo shoots. I’m just saying.

  17. Kate

    Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this man’s striking resemblance to Christian Bale’s American Psycho? Nobody exchange business cards at this baby whoring photo shoots. I’m just saying.

  18. Kate

    Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this man’s striking resemblance to Christian Bale’s American Psycho? Nobody exchange business cards at this baby whoring photo shoots. I’m just saying.

  19. Yeah

    She is the pretty Kardashian. But she has really poor taste in men

  20. jonny

    I wonder if she is going to let any B-list rappers piss on the baby?

  21. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Poor kid..has to be raised by skanked up slutty Armenian gypsies.

  22. Carolyn

    Another pig who can’t be bothered to get married. Wonder how long that loser boyfriend will hang around?

  23. STUPIFIED

    I mean, really, why does anyone care about these putas? Just more Hollywood wannabees with their legs is the air…

  24. F. Lee Bailey

    I am significantly more interested in the Jersey Shore article in the bottom inset. Seriously…the best show of lae 2009. T.H.E. B.E.S.T.

    Having grown up around “guidos” I find this an honest portrayal of this lifestyle. I even learned that a female guido is a guidette. Fun fact there.

    My favorite guido has to be “the Situation”. In fact, in honor of Mike (“the situtation”) I have named my beer gut “the incident”.

    Watch this show, bitches…and fish…how have you missed posting anything about this trainwreck?

  25. Darken

    Date rape face.

    On a different note, at what point will we just entirely fabricate a person in Photoshop rendering it unnecessary for a photoshoot?

  26. a lovely baby & a happiness family

    more sexy pictures click my name~~~

  27. tea

    I love you Kardashians! You too Bruce. You all keep it real and are a beautiful loving family! Those of you who are judging — please remember, NONE OF US are perfect and all have sinned and fallen short! Let them enjoy themselves. Enjoy your gift from GOD!

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  29. Stating the Obvious

    Famous last words, “The baby will bring us together.”

    Said by every single mom before the divorce. I mean, if you’re not together now, a baby won’t do it. That’s basic Relationship 101, they knew that shit back in the 70′s. That they’re still peddling it is a sad state. People don’t learn b/c they don’t want to learn. Which means humans deserve everything they get.

  30. Blech

    Mason Dash Dickish?

    Oops. That reads “Disick”.

  31. serena

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    [[[[[[[======.PlusFlirt. CooM..==========}}}}}}}}nice and free place for BBWs and handsome men to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends. OO…….

  32. serena

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  33. Hi Guy’s,
    someone was out drinking and partying, acted irresponsibly, got knocked up, and produced yet another baby to add to the world’s overpopulation. Isn’t it just so cute?

  34. God damned photoshoped face (baby included)

  35. Josh

    @27 Why are the religious ones always so eccentric?

  36. Anna

    That baby looks like a monkey … and Kourtney has WAY too much eye makeup on.

  37. She looks like someone who should have a “palm reading” sign outside her home. That Scott guy looks like Robert Chamberlian/Peter Cooke preppy wanna-be sociopath. There is just something not right about him. So yeah, I get the commenter above about the Christian Bale character. Everyone totally thinks the same way you do.

  38. they sure did quickly jump on the chance to make a couple dollars off their baby.

    such respectable people. BLARGH

  39. Tucker Jay

    baby is ugly.

  40. Weasel

    Mace and Dash Dick

  41. Why is she getting so much press?

  42. Fammi sapere come leggere questo articolo, un sacco di cose che prima non sapevo

  43. Fammi sapere come leggere questo articolo, un sacco di cose che prima non sapevo

  44. she is getting so much press

  45. sucks for the baby man

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