It’s barely been two weeks and Kourtney Kardashian is already pimping her newborn son Mason Dash Disick in the latest issue of Life & Style. In fact, I’m pretty sure she gnawed off the umbilical cord just in time for the first shot. No, really, tell me that’s not the face of a woman who wish she Scotch taped the C-Section incision shut because it’s dripping on her foot. You can’t.
Photos: Courtesy of Life & Style

























JiggaJay | December 29, 2009 at 1:42 pm
FIRST
Dyldo Mcfistenstein | December 29, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Wait a sec… do you mean to tell me that there’s some magical way I can lose holiday pounds fast?!? Woohoo!
Kelley | December 29, 2009 at 2:11 pm
@ 1. Good for you … imagine making $1000s on this, simply showing off your baby along with your douchebag boyfriend who thinks even vomit won’t ruin his good looks. Wow.
me | December 29, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Beautiful!!!!!!!
SC | December 29, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Why is that no one seemed to care when Kendra showed off her baby within days, I believe?!?
Both babies are gorgeous and they are proud to show them off!
Sixth! | December 29, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Sixth!
http://www.thefamousphere.com | December 29, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Wow, let’s all celebrate the fact that someone was out drinking and partying, acted irresponsibly, got knocked up, and produced yet another baby to add to the world’s overpopulation. Isn’t it just so cute?
Seventh! | December 29, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Great, I’m thrilled she finally lost all that weight. For a moment there, I kept mistaking her for a beached-whale!
Amy | December 29, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Apparently, now that she got paid for the baby photos, she’s selling her kid for only $2.99. It’s right there are the gold seal next to her head.
Toaster Strudel | December 29, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Her boyfriend is cute, I’d totally jizz across his face.
crackface | December 29, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Hey #7 I think were either related or your the love of my life.
Delgo | December 29, 2009 at 2:56 pm
1-877-KARS 4 KIDS
JJ Daddy-O | December 29, 2009 at 2:58 pm
More Photoshop, please. They still look vaguely human…
shittin condoms | December 29, 2009 at 3:16 pm
wait a sec how the fuck is this bitch famous?
Mike Walker | December 29, 2009 at 3:28 pm
The kid probably burrowed its way out with its horns.
Kate | December 29, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this man’s striking resemblance to Christian Bale’s American Psycho? Nobody exchange business cards at this baby whoring photo shoots. I’m just saying.
Kate | December 29, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this man’s striking resemblance to Christian Bale’s American Psycho? Nobody exchange business cards at this baby whoring photo shoots. I’m just saying.
Kate | December 29, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Is anyone else deeply disturbed by this man’s striking resemblance to Christian Bale’s American Psycho? Nobody exchange business cards at this baby whoring photo shoots. I’m just saying.
Yeah | December 29, 2009 at 4:33 pm
She is the pretty Kardashian. But she has really poor taste in men
jonny | December 29, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I wonder if she is going to let any B-list rappers piss on the baby?
Jamie Lynn's Uterus | December 29, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Poor kid..has to be raised by skanked up slutty Armenian gypsies.
Carolyn | December 29, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Another pig who can’t be bothered to get married. Wonder how long that loser boyfriend will hang around?
STUPIFIED | December 29, 2009 at 6:13 pm
I mean, really, why does anyone care about these putas? Just more Hollywood wannabees with their legs is the air…
F. Lee Bailey | December 29, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I am significantly more interested in the Jersey Shore article in the bottom inset. Seriously…the best show of lae 2009. T.H.E. B.E.S.T.
Having grown up around “guidos” I find this an honest portrayal of this lifestyle. I even learned that a female guido is a guidette. Fun fact there.
My favorite guido has to be “the Situation”. In fact, in honor of Mike (“the situtation”) I have named my beer gut “the incident”.
Watch this show, bitches…and fish…how have you missed posting anything about this trainwreck?
Darken | December 29, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Date rape face.
On a different note, at what point will we just entirely fabricate a person in Photoshop rendering it unnecessary for a photoshoot?
Nude Pics and Videos | December 29, 2009 at 8:10 pm
a lovely baby & a happiness family
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tea | December 29, 2009 at 9:57 pm
I love you Kardashians! You too Bruce. You all keep it real and are a beautiful loving family! Those of you who are judging — please remember, NONE OF US are perfect and all have sinned and fallen short! Let them enjoy themselves. Enjoy your gift from GOD!
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Stating the Obvious | December 29, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Famous last words, “The baby will bring us together.”
Said by every single mom before the divorce. I mean, if you’re not together now, a baby won’t do it. That’s basic Relationship 101, they knew that shit back in the 70′s. That they’re still peddling it is a sad state. People don’t learn b/c they don’t want to learn. Which means humans deserve everything they get.
Blech | December 30, 2009 at 12:18 am
Mason Dash Dickish?
Oops. That reads “Disick”.
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r4i software | December 30, 2009 at 3:54 am
Hi Guy’s,
someone was out drinking and partying, acted irresponsibly, got knocked up, and produced yet another baby to add to the world’s overpopulation. Isn’t it just so cute?
LAGRENOUILLE | December 30, 2009 at 6:40 am
God damned photoshoped face (baby included)
Josh | December 30, 2009 at 8:24 am
@27 Why are the religious ones always so eccentric?
Anna | December 30, 2009 at 9:47 am
That baby looks like a monkey … and Kourtney has WAY too much eye makeup on.
Sickitten | December 30, 2009 at 10:13 am
She looks like someone who should have a “palm reading” sign outside her home. That Scott guy looks like Robert Chamberlian/Peter Cooke preppy wanna-be sociopath. There is just something not right about him. So yeah, I get the commenter above about the Christian Bale character. Everyone totally thinks the same way you do.
Couples Sex on Webcam | December 30, 2009 at 10:27 am
they sure did quickly jump on the chance to make a couple dollars off their baby.
such respectable people. BLARGH
Tucker Jay | December 30, 2009 at 3:40 pm
baby is ugly.
Weasel | December 30, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Mace and Dash Dick
Brian | December 30, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Why is she getting so much press?
NIke Scarpe | December 31, 2009 at 1:55 am
Fammi sapere come leggere questo articolo, un sacco di cose che prima non sapevo
NIke Scarpe | December 31, 2009 at 1:56 am
Fammi sapere come leggere questo articolo, un sacco di cose che prima non sapevo
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