UPDATE: Somebody Stole All The DVDs From Texas Children’s Hospital, Let’s Christian Bale That Shit

September 13th, 2012 // 51 Comments
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“They even took WALL-E?”

UPDATE: So after this story went huge today, Texas Children’s Hospital just released a statement and apparently their whole DVD collection didn’t get wiped out, but they do get stolen, and a lot judging by some of your comments and this news report. So like another first time I had, this probably could’ve gone smoother. But at least I didn’t cry and a bunch of kids battling cancer got a whole bunch of movies and video games instead of my parents coming home early and freaking the fuck out:

Yesterday we received a number of calls about DVDs being stolen from the Infusion Room at Texas Children’s Cancer Center. And today, these reports have quickly spread across the internet, with hundreds of people posting about their desire to help out. While we do have DVDs go missing from time to time, we did not experience a mass theft. We are deeply appreciative and amazed by the outpouring of support from the community. Donations – monetary and otherwise – are always needed and appreciated. If you are interested in donating to the hospital, please visit waystogive.texaschildrens.org or call 832-824-6806.

I’m still calling myself Batman.


Imagine you’re a little kid battling cancer and one of the few things making your chemo treatments just a little less scary and painful is watching one of your favorite movies the nice nurse at the hospital puts on for you. Now imagine you arrive one morning and all the movies are gone. No adventures with Hiccup in How To Train Your Dragon. No laughing at Dory in Finding Nemo. That happened this week when some Kardashian of a person (worst insult I could think of) completely cleaned out all the DVDs at the Texas Children’s Hospital Cancer Center. Fortunately, the Layla Grace Childrens’ Cancer Research Foundation has stepped up and is collecting new and used DVDs to restock the cancer center. So let’s see if we can take a break from being douchebags on the Internet and hook them up with an awesome collection. And, hell, maybe a couple of Playstations or 3DSs to all you rich people reading the site. Here’s the mailing address if you want to chip in:

Layla Grace Foundation
12320 Barker Cypress Rd
Suite 600 #264
Cypress, Tx 77429

They’ll be collecting through the end of September. Keep the DVDs rated G/PG. Amazon gift cards are welcome and if you’re worried about sending duplicates, they’ll send the extras to other parts of the children’s hospital.

Thanks for indulging me on this one, and the awesome response on Facebook. For some reason, this was the last bit of human shittery I could just shake my head at without doing something. I’m not all sexy, emotionless steel. Just mostly.

UPDATE: The Layla Grace Foundation left all of you a nice message on The Superficial Facebook page which they really didn’t have to do because I genuinely didn’t expect them to associate themselves with the tomfoolery that happens on this site. In fact, I’d implore them to disavow all knowledge of what just happened here today and run while they still can. Anyway, here’s the message:

Thanks everyone for your support of the kids. Any duplicates will be distributed to other parts of the hospital. If you want to send anything else for the kids, like video games or systems we will take those up there too and distribute them evenly throughout the play rooms, and infusion rooms.

Also, thanks to Vince Mancini over at FilmDrunk for getting the word out at the risk of everyone knowing what soft, delicate flowers we are. *clutches tattered VHS copy of Beaches* Sorry, little kids, this one stays with me. This one stays with me.

Photo: Warner Bros.


  1. Cock Dr

    And while everyone is overflowing with the milk of human kindness perhaps Santa could bring the hospital some sort of camera security system, so that future scumbag thieves can be identified.

  2. I live about four blocks away, and I can tell you, TCH is an amazing place. God’s work, were there. . .well, you know.

  3. In honor of The Superficial, I will be sending copies of “The Amanda Show,” “Freaky Friday,” and a set of every single episode of every single Kardashian reality show ever made.

    That last one will hopefully show these poor kids there are worse things on earth than getting cancer at age 7.

    “Timmy, you have leukemia.”
    “No biggie. At least I’m not Mason Disick! Now, let’s beat this shit!”

    • Zofia

      Note that in the US, it is not only illegal to sell or use such stwrfaoe, but current law even makes it illegal to OWN such stwrfaoe. It is available is you want it. But just wanted to be sure you knew the law.

  4. Frank Castle

    Someone should teach the scumbag who did this the difference between justice and punishment.

  5. Doo Doo Brown

    holy fucking shit, KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER WHO DID THAT, seriously. end his fucking life. I can hardly think of a worse place to steal from. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE whoever stole those movies. WOW.

  6. Frank Burns

    How does it even enter the human brain to consider stealing shit from cancer-struck children? Looks like I’ll have to go the Amazon card route, the closest thing I have to PG is the PG-13 “DOA: Dead or Alive” movie.

    • Guys, as I said above, I live in Houston, and I’ll bet the thieves are caught within a week and their lives take an immediate turn towards some as yet unexplored levels of unpleasantness. I’ll keep an eye on it and alert Fish should there be good news.

      • Frank Burns

        Sweet. Looking forward to a “thieves hospitalized confrontation with police, all DVDs found and returned to TCH” report from you.

      • Frank Burns

        Oops. ^ after ^ confrontation

      • Well, dammit. . .I’ve searched Google and all the local news stations’ websites, and I am coming up with Superficial’s coverage of the matter, other people mentioning the same, and nothing else. Can anyone point me to a source where I can follow up? I’m stumped. Did TCH decide not to publicize the incident? That’s all I can figure.

      • The story is posted on the Layla Grace Childrens’ Cancer Research Foundation Facebook page, and the Layla Grace Childrens’ Cancer Research Foundation has posted a thanks post on the Superficial Facebook page. Did you bother to look there, or do you spend you days wallowing in cynicism?

      • No, I spend too much time annoyed by morally superior assholes who don’t read previous posts in threads and thus miss context to wallow. Only so many hours in the day, you know?

        Also, I don’t Facebook. (gasp!) But it is strange there is no mention elsewhere.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        no facebook?

        *high five*

      • Yeah, let’s not “Friend” each other to celebrate.

      • Michael_D

        Seriously, if someone did rob the videos I’d imagine its going to be a very interesting time from the time their apprehended until they actually reach county lock-up. And even more fun after that.

        A few years ago my daughter was at TCH for a couple of weeks for surgery and while she was in pain, seeing all the other kids around there with cancer and the like helped give her (and us) perspective. Still to this day it kills me when I think of some of those kids undergoing chemo who would just wander the floor because they’ve been there for months and just wanted another kid to play with.

      • theoriginal LJ

        Ok, so I was an asshole this morning and missed your first post. Apologies.

      • Accepted, sir.

      • What

        I see your living 4 blocks away and raise you being a student to that nursing school directly across the street AND adjacent to their women’s pavilion center which shares the same parking garage as my school. I just walked through TCH from st lukes a mere 30 minutes ago. your move.

      • I had my appendix out at Methodist a few years ago. Does that count?

  7. youtherny

    still a better love story than “Twilight”.

  8. dude

    great post, Fish. Class. Thank you.

  9. it had to be said

    They are about to get so many DVDs that they will be donating them to other places. I hope they catch these assholes.

  10. I used to work at a hospital on the (adult) cancer wing, and let me tell you, people would still steal shit left and right. I had a device that would scan the barcodes of medicine packages, and someone stole that. Shit, they couldn’t even use it for anything! I’m sure they tried to pawn it. I guarantee it was some ghetto parent or other family member. Disgusting, vile human beings.

    • Some ghetto parent with a kid in the cancer wing probably tried to pawn something for money possibly to keep his kid alive what??!?

      I’m generally cynical, and I didn’t even think of it this way until you told this little story, but your venom made me wonder if having a dying child and no money might have been the reason “ghetto” parents stole things.

  11. mismy

    Thank you Fish, I may have to love you again. I have hundreds of dvd’s from my days of blowing money, I will send the appropriate ones.

  12. Blech

    Even ‘steel’ people can melt.

    One of the best posts I’ve read…

  13. I’ll just send some Amazon gift cards. Blows my mind someone could do this.

  14. USDA Prime McBeef

    I just stole a bunch of children’s DVDs from another hospital and am sending them down to Texas.

  15. Count of Monte Fisto

    I bought them Bedknobs and Broomsticks, so that children will know that imagination > Nazis.

  16. I’ll be going through the dvd collection tonight. I’ve been trying to motivate myself to donate them to someone/thing for a while now. Apparently, I was just waiting for the right place. Screw my damn local library. All they ever do is constantly provide me books to read at virtually no cost to me.

  17. Craptard

    I have a shit ton of old pron vhs tapes – think they’ll take those? wth, kids are dying of cancer so wtf is the dif if they see some pron? It would be tragic for someone to come & go from this world without ever seeing the majesty of staticy old 1980′s vhs tape pron, girls with big hairy bushes, peg legged eye patch wearing asian chicks (please don’t judge, this is what I was into in the 1980′s.)

  18. Sandoucheky

    So cool of you to post about this. I’m getting their Pixar stock back up to full.

    Anyone who sends them Cannibal Holocaust or Antichrist goes straight to hell.

  19. El Jefe

    I must have at least 10-20 DVDs I can send them.
    You really have to wonder what kind of sick fucker does this kind of shit? For you to rob kids with cancer and churches and beat up old people etc etc, you really have to be a depraved individual.

    Well it is Texas, so whoever did this odds of coming out of this in one piece if they are caught chances won’t be too great. Good luck buddy, run fast.

  20. Dan

    Check your sourcing next time:


    Hospital says theft never happened.

  21. cagster

    Another copy of Wall-E from France via Amazon. Thanks for the post ‘fish.

  22. PtC

    I was about to post that this story isn’t true, but someone beat me to it. Seriously, 2 seconds of searching brought the truth to light. You fucking sheep.

  23. PtC

    I’m not saying these kids don’t deserve a shit ton of new DVDs because this rumor was started, that’s great. I just can’t fucking stand it when a rumor becomes news because people won’t take the time to fact check first.

    That is all.

    • Perhaps holding a celebrity titty site to the same standards that should apply to real news outlets is a wee bit silly.

    • Yeah. It so sucks when something generous and helpful and kind and sweet happens because of bad fact-checking. Thanks for keeping us focused on the real problems, PtC.

  24. It’s true, we love celeb gossip at the Layla Grace Foundation. Shhh, don’t tell.

  25. Douche McGinniss

    I can send some of my old Hustler DVD’s. Kids like that, right?

  26. Burt

    Here’s a way to support the kids and their families:

    universal healthcare

    The numbers speak for themselves:


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