Terrell Owens wants to punt Jessica Simpson (God, I hate sports)

December 20th, 2007 // 63 Comments

Dallas Cowboy Terrell Owens had some words for Jessica Simpson yesterday. Dallas fans believe Jessica distracted her new boyfriend quarterback Tony Romo causing the Cowboys to lose to the Philadelphia Eagles. The Associated Press reports:

Asked Wednesday about the Simpson scenario, Owens playfully chimed in: “Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite — in this locker room or in Texas Stadium.”

Tony Romo’s previous worst game happened a year ago when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was in the stands:

“With everything that has happened, obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she’s kind of taken his focus away,” Owens said, echoing the chatter on sports-talk radio and blogs. “Other than that, she was hot on my list until last week.

I think it’s cute Jessica Simpson got to see a real live football game. Of course the people next to her probably didn’t share my sentiment. She kept pressing her chest against the glass of her box seats and screaming “Hey, Tony! Are you the blue ones? I forgot already!” But I don’t see how that’d be distracting. In fact, that’s how I prefer to play football. If only the NFL weren’t frightened (yet silently aroused) by my natural talent on the field. I’m like Joe Namath but sexier and on Mexican steroids. Sexy Mexican steroids.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. You should admit that she’s HOT. I found her lesbian profile on http://femmate.com. I am not sure who uploaded it there, or just did it herself. But girls on the site are crazy about her. LOL

  2. D. Richards (Yes, ma'am!)

    #47? Please don’t make yourself look stupid, okay? Now go and put your money down. The negroes are playing. Cripple.

  3. Mediator

    #48

    That’s why they’re the true winners – even with all the things in your list, your white women still love them. They’d rather be a black man’s whore and possibly killed later than be your beloved wife.

  4. D. Richards (Lover.)

    Oh no ‘yugh ditn’t'! “US weekly”? Please. I’m more in to making my news up. I like reading about statistics, then making judgement. I’m a lot like George-W.

    Seriously. I like people magazine! The people are just smiling! Happy. Not like me. That’s why I’m taking acting classes. I even enrolled in a dance class. Though I’m not enjoying dance much because there’s this black girl who tries to out-dance everybody. And she answers questions out of turn too which is horrible. Once ‘Sherrief’ (black girl) told me that I was wrong, when I clearly was right. It was so upsetting. But what can you say, right? Don’t wanna be some racist. Agh. Yeah.

  5. Christina

    Come on people. The article quoting TO clearly says he is being “playful”. As in, messing around.

    Someone brought up that Romo’s previous worst game was when then-girlfriend Carrie Underwood was in the audience, but it was also against the Eagles. Maybe its just that team that makes him mess up? Isn’t that possible??

    Anyway, TO is a loser, but whatever. I don’t even care about the Cowboys one way or another… except I’m not a huge fan of anything in Texas, especially the SA Spurs. Fuck em all.

  6. grits2005

    #26 I was thinking the same thing lmao. Ty Ty I loved your comment to that moron

  7. duna

    She is really terrible. Have you watched her recent video? If you see, you will why so many people scold her at pubspa.com.

  8. D. Richards progeny

    Maintaining homeostasis (the catabolic aspect requires noisily shitting your guts out dear) fucking, blowing noses, picking our the hard parts, bleeding vaginas, excercising our skeletomuscular systems, etc., are all physical exertions keeping us alive. Some of us (haha obviously not yourself) are more endowed and early on excell at sports. Why, a person may recieve a free college education for doing so. Or become very rich.
    Noone really cares that a caustic, unlaid (I for one would love to see your ugly face and I know you must be really unattractive because you are so full of hate, I wonder what happened in your formative years that rotted your soul) doesn’t like anything.
    Mother dearest, perhaps a longer vibrator is on order? One with lots of bumps (like your brother’s had) and maybe a slight short in it because I think you must have scabs and scarring from a chronic venereal infection.
    I love you Mommy. Hate on!!!! :o-8 -8 -8

  9. dallass sucks

    dallass sucks.

  10. Son-of D. Richards

    Yes, #59 (Dick). Too bad for me my parents didn’t push those beautifully designed christian morals down my pre-adolescent throat. Goddamn it! I wanted to play football circle-jerk. I wanted to pat-the other boys’ asses. Damn.

    I like the other clone better. You don’t have a sense-of humor, Dick. You, are, like so smart though! You got it goin’ on, sweety!

  11. xman

    The world will crash on Tony Homo soon. Is it me or does anyone see Jessica as the next poster girl for Jenny Craig

  12. Abi

    Jessica, I hope you, your Daisy Dukes and your Texas hillbilly have many toothless children together. I wish you the best this holiday season and may you have as many offspring as Britney and her sister.

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