Terrell Owens didn’t try to kill himself

September 27th, 2006 // 36 Comments

Earlier today a Dallas TV station obtained a police report saying Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens tried to kill himself by overdosing on pain medication, but now Owens is speaking out saying the report was wrong. He says:

“There was no suicide attempt,” the NFL star said. “Rumors of me taking 35 pills are absurd.” Owens, who was hospitalized Tuesday night, said he’d had a bad reaction after mixing pain medication, which he’d been given to treat an injury to his hand, with some supplements. As for reports that he’d claimed to be depressed, Owens said, “No, I’m not depressed by any means. I’m very happy to be here. I’m here to help the team get on a roll.” Owens’s publicist, Kim Etheredge, who was with the football player Tuesday night, said at the news conference that she called 911 when she noticed he was non-responsive to her questions. “When I see a man of his stature not responding and I know he’s not feeling well, I used my judgment to call 911,” she said. “I did not say that Terrell was depressed. Terrell did not say he was depressed.”

Taking 35 pills and not taking 35 pills seems like a pretty big disparity. Even more so considering a specific number was mentioned. Not 36 pills or 34 pills or ‘a whole lotta’ pills, but exactly 35. Like when I say I’ve had sex with Alessandra Ambrosio 48 times you know it’s the truth because I’m being specific to the number of times we’ve done it. Speaking of which, if you’re reading, Alessandra, let’s make it 49. Perfect squares are the shit.


  1. PunjabPete

    He did not try and kill himself… His lazy left eye did it… Why couldn’t it have been successful…

  2. biatcho

    and by “supplements” they mean crack.

  3. Seems to me that if he did try and commit suicide that he would admit it.

    However, I am curious about what supplement mixed with pain killers would land you in the hospital. It might benefit people to know. Seems there are discrepancies on both sides.

    I wonder if it is like taking Viagra and heart medications?


  4. BarbadoSlim

    Do you must T.O., there is no try!!!

    that is why you fail.

  5. Binky

    Damn you FISH – I blew all my insightful commentary on this on the Screech thread. (Not that I went off topic)

  6. LilRach

    I have no idea who this man is – who is he?

  7. PunjabPete

    #6 – an cocky asswipe wide receiver for Dallas who has alienated just about anyone who ever liked him by being a world calss jerk.

    #3 – Those supposed supplements seem suspect since the bottle of pain killers was suspiciously empty… He does this just as half assed as he does his practices….

  8. LilRach

    #7 – thanks :) – just so i’m in the know!

  9. Wait, let me get this straight – Terrell Owens is David Hasselhoff’s daughter?

    What the fuck?

  10. Italian Stallion

    See, what had happen was……..

    I heard they found him in a pool of tussin….

    What did T.O. get on his S.A.T’s?

  11. Answer: BBQ sauce………

  12. Madrid Marriott

    I suspect Hasselhoff has played some role in this whole mess.

  13. All a big misunderstanding. Like that time I accidentally fell off that bridge.


  14. “BBQ sauce”… Laughing uproariously here Stallion.

  15. DiabetesExplosion

    Why the fuck is everyone trying to kill themselves? And why is there a picture of a bald Dr. Bailey from Grey’s Anatomy for this story?

  16. Beavis

    Eagles fans hated him for fucking up our team, we were certain the next thing he fucked up was the Dallas Cowboys…

    Unfortunately he fell short in yesterdays endeavor, hopefully practice will make perfect.

  17. scottyv00

    Also, did anyone actually here his dumbass of a publicist, I believe if you listen closely she says, “a man of his statue.” I swear thats what I heard. reminds me of the time the girl on real world key west said, “hes using it as an escape goat.” those two misuses of the english language may be the dumbest shit I have ever heard. Ever.

  18. scottyv00

    i meant hear. Can’t post about language and fuck that up.

  19. gatorbates

    We know he tried it.

    I just wished it’d worked, so I could free up an additional WR spot on my fantasy football team.

  20. What kind of a douche bag OD’s after only 35 pills? I fucking used to mix straight opium with clear crystal meth, then threw in some DMT just to make it interesting. Not kidding in the slightest. Try it, kinda fun.

    #4 Barba-Yoda Slim?

    Do that again and I will shit on your porch. Cuz I just shit on mine. It was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. HollyJ

    I saw his whole “press announcement” on HLN today, from beginning to end.. He’s so full of shit, he has fecal infarction of the cerebral spinal fluid.

    He claims he was too groggy to remember telling police he was depressed. BULLSHIT! He claims that Kim (his PR person, a sexy young woman–and I suspect his LOVER, based on their body language today) found him with an empty bottle that HAD contained 35 pills. Most of those pills, he claimed, he’d moved into a drawer, not taken. BULLSHIT! Who gets a box of hydrocodone and puts more than half the pills in their drawer? He also tried to tie in his use of “supplements” claiming that he had them all out when he was groggy and must’ve gotten confused and taken hydrocodone instead of supplements. WTF? Did you take the 35 pills or are they in the drawer? You have to pick ONE storyline, moron. ONE.

    ALL his answers were vague and “I don’t remember” ..even Kim’s. Kim was all “Oh, it’s been such a long day and night, I can’t really remember” ..

    The most disgusting comment was Kim, who mentioned, as if casually and not planned, as she was getting up from the mike: “He has 25 Million reasons to live” ..

    AS IF people with shitloads of money don’t get depressed and try to committ suicide. WTF? Does she KNOW anything about young Hollywood stars of the past half-century?

    Liars, all of them. I hate fucking liars. You KNOW he was coached for 10 solid hours today, and he STILL came over as an obvious liar. What a fucking moron!

  22. RichPort

    If he really was hardcore, he’d score a touchdown, do his little dance, pull out a Taurus 9mm, then blast himself in the endzone. Talk about the ultimate showboating routine. like a real suicidal NFLer. He obviously has no real dedication to the sport. To paraphrase the Boondocks: Game recognize game T.O., and you lookin’ unfamiliar”.

  23. Shout outs to Lumpy Brain!

    What up, mutha fuckah????

  24. Too bad he failed. I wouldn’t have to see his arrogant ass on TV anymore or hear him talk about himself. I bet if Jesus was here he’d try to outdo him.


  25. PongGod

    Of course not. Why would he want to kill the person he loves most in this world?

  26. poker_n_d_rear

    the only person that should be upset is parcell every time he almost gets this asshole of his back something goes wrong, i think that after they re-new the pain killers prescription the team should pitch in and buy him a couple of gallons of vodka

  27. Bambella

    I just don’t get it. this guy could have the world on a string and he just keeps screwing up everything he is given. maybe he and Whitney could start dating, seems like a match made in the overly dramatic I need attention all the time school of living. not the poster child for good mental health. yes happy people take way too many pills and drink to excess.

  28. jrzmommy

    where’s all this fear and loathing in the big D coming from? I thought TO was all about the self-love? I still say if he watches the Screech Sex Tape it’ll do him in.

  29. Fashionista_911

    I am a Dallas resident and unfortunately a lot of my shows were interupted regarding this matter.

    Don’t read into that number of pills thing. At first they kept saying 31 pills then they said 35.

    The police report was “leaked” to the press and it was an illegal offense at that. Later in the day the PD was back pedaling and they even blacked out parts of the police report after T.O.’s press conference.

    All I got to say is don’t believe the hype.

  30. commissioner

    T.O. just needs a big ol’ hug.

    And some Methadone, Zoloft and Lexapro. Hell, throw some Ambien CR and a 10 ccs of Toradol.

  31. KelKel

    T.O is too ego maniacal for suicide.

  32. One word: STEROIDS.

  33. jrzmommy

    31–Washed down with some Absinthe and then settle in for a nice bubble bath with his toaster oven!

  34. radically4peace

    I doubt this retard tried to kill himself. He’s in love with himself. If you’re that full of yourself, you want to live to see another touch down dance.

  35. yeah, i figured as much – even if he did…would he admit it?

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