Terrell Owens didn’t try to kill himself


Earlier today a Dallas TV station obtained a police report saying Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens tried to kill himself by overdosing on pain medication, but now Owens is speaking out saying the report was wrong. He says:

“There was no suicide attempt,” the NFL star said. “Rumors of me taking 35 pills are absurd.” Owens, who was hospitalized Tuesday night, said he’d had a bad reaction after mixing pain medication, which he’d been given to treat an injury to his hand, with some supplements. As for reports that he’d claimed to be depressed, Owens said, “No, I’m not depressed by any means. I’m very happy to be here. I’m here to help the team get on a roll.” Owens’s publicist, Kim Etheredge, who was with the football player Tuesday night, said at the news conference that she called 911 when she noticed he was non-responsive to her questions. “When I see a man of his stature not responding and I know he’s not feeling well, I used my judgment to call 911,” she said. “I did not say that Terrell was depressed. Terrell did not say he was depressed.”

Taking 35 pills and not taking 35 pills seems like a pretty big disparity. Even more so considering a specific number was mentioned. Not 36 pills or 34 pills or ‘a whole lotta’ pills, but exactly 35. Like when I say I’ve had sex with Alessandra Ambrosio 48 times you know it’s the truth because I’m being specific to the number of times we’ve done it. Speaking of which, if you’re reading, Alessandra, let’s make it 49. Perfect squares are the shit.