Teri Seymour wears a bikini, could use a good meal or ten

December 28th, 2007 // 179 Comments

My original headline for this post was “Simon Cowell attacked by rogue Ethopian.” Then I did some investigative journalism (i.e. Wikipedia) and learned that it’s actually Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour who’s on vacation in Barbados for the holiday. I can understand why he keeps her around. She seems handy. Simon could always use Teri as a walking stick if he were on a long hike. Or, I dunno, maybe as a karate staff if he wanted to fight crime or play Ninja Turtles with Ryan Seacrest who always wants to be “Naked Shredder.”

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. twimmy420

    I think she’s pretty f’n hot… haters!

  2. ixxy

    She isn’t too thin? you can see the ribs in her back!! that is disgusting, though it’s weird you cant see ribs on the front.
    Still wouldn’t tap that.

  3. ss

    What is the water bottle doing in that pic?

  4. Emaciated, emancipated, tomato, tomato.. (Ok, that only works if you pronounce the second tomato like this “to-mah-to”)

  5. Rusty

    I like the tan lines. Reminds me of the Playboy Centerfolds of the 1970′s … you know, before they were all blond clones with ridiculously large tits.

  6. monkey_b

    What the fuck. She is in NO WAY, shape or form “too thin”. This is some bull. I bet if you added two cup sizes to her rack, then suddenly she’d have “the perfect body”. Psssh. She looks lean, slender, and DAMN GOOD.

  7. For the record, I don’t think she’s “too” thin either. Remember old pics of Nicole Ritchie jogging on a beach? That’s too thin, hey did she ever have that baby yet? Where’s she at? She’s soooo boring now. God, where’s Britney? Is she boinking another random photographer as we speak? I miss the old Lohan, you know, where she’s passing out in hotel hallways ouside some dude’s room, I’m bored.

  8. high fructose

    I am bored too. Nothing will beat the day I logged on to the Superficial to see bald Britney going ape shit on a photogs car with an umbrella. Those were the days…

  9. Oh HELL yeah!!!

  10. Ok, that’s it, it took like 20 seconds for my comment to post. I know that doesn’t seem like a long time if say, you were at a stop light, or waiting in line at the checkout, but WTC!!!!!!!! Didn’t used to be like this, man..

  11. Bo Babbyo

    I’m no fan of skinny babes but she looks fine to me. All the stuff’s there, with no inappropriate or unattractive poking out, say I.

  12. who cares?

    @33 Whatever…you can’t diagnose an eating disorder based on someone’s arm proportions. My sister has had stick arms her whole life…she can slide a bracelet that I can’t get past my forearm all the way to her upper arm, and she is not anorexic. I’m am so tired of people accusing people of being anorexic, or fat. Everybody is different. Get over it.

  13. Chaturon Chupuppup Wattaporn

    @43. The disparity of Simon’s forearms implies that he’s a right-handed chronic masturbator!

  14. Pikachelsea

    I see Mr. Superfish is a chubby chaser. She’s really not that skinny. I don’t see what the big deal is.

    And @33:

    Another sign of having thin arms is that you have a REALLY FAST METABOLISM. Obviously you don’t or you’d understand that fact. Sorry to burst your candy-coated fantasy but not everyone who is slender is anorexic or living at the gym 24 hours a day.

  15. Ript1&0

    Where are you on this one, DR?? Say something man! I need to come!

  16. Ript, maybe he is still busy on the Misha post..

    Oh, I added you.

  17. Timoteo

    Actually, this chick isn’t bad looking (now Tara Reid…THAT’S anorexic looking). She’s got some flesh on her. Her problem is that her ass is FLAT. Nice hips, but flat ass…

  18. CJ

    Too thin…no, too fat…no, good butt/ugly butt…and it’s not like anyone posting has a shot in he11 of getting with anything ever offered, so why all the knit-picking? She, like every other female offered, is out of everyone’s league…go find your own skanks and be happy to have anyone.

  19. Ript1&0

    Thanks for the add, FRIST. I think we just officially made this totally weird….

    I don’t actually ummm.. threaten small children in real life and stuff, just so you know.

    Okaaay maybe just on Sundays in the park, but that’s just flashing. Very non-threatening.

  20. that black bitch "new york" is a dilhole

    Best comment on the page: #6

  21. AssBigot

    She’s not THAT skinny..she’s lean.

  22. AssBigot

    @30

    check out the site’s name…superficial, is it not? what are you bawling about?

  23. crrrr

    WOW she’s got one tight body. Her chest area does appear a bit too lean but the rest (esp her legs) look fantastic.

  24. So not only does Simon not know music or Italian (Il Divo, I rest my case), but he likes his women anorexic. Who appointed him judge of American taste? It’s “I Divi”, dummy, and their repetoire is shit, not to mention incomprehensible!

  25. The Regulator

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  26. fjf

    she looks good! 90% of the comment authors must be fat

  27. WELL, she could definitely a good meal and a NECK-EMBRACE. Because those heavy sunglasses is almost breaking her NECK!!

  28. emmyem

    She looks FINE. Usually I agree with Fish, but being a “beard” for Simon CAN be stressful, but she’s NOT too thin. Good LORD the fat people (who completely outnumber the thin ones), lose some weight.
    I’m 5 feet four and a half inches and I weigh 115 pounds. And I am not “too thin”.
    Trust me………..and I have a better butt and better boobs, and they are MINE ALL MINE! Not store bought! Now Fish……….come on……………………

  29. Seymour Butz

    My judge of skeleton vs. normal is how clearly I can see a woman’s ribs. This woman has ribs that are barely visible, with the outline of the rib cage itself is almost invisible.

    She’s not skeletor. She’s at a good weight. The skeletons are the ones who have well-defined rib cages & every damn rib is visible (Nicole Ritchie – ewwww).

    Given her body type I think she’d just look fat if she got heavier. She doesn’t have broad hips or chest, she’d just end up with thunder thighs. That’s never a good look.

  30. diddleysquat

    Except for the ass being a little dumpy, I’d say she looks pretty damn good! Gotta tone up that shovel butt though.

  31. She is so charming. Do you know so many men are crazy to her and often share her videos at pubspa.com

  32. jimena

    perhaps i’m crazy but i find Simon hot..!!!

  33. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  34. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  35. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  36. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  37. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  38. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  39. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  40. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  41. ja

    You people that think that’s what constitutes a “nice ass” are sick in the head. Having a toned body is nice but having an old man’s flat, droopy ass is disgusting. When a woman’s ass gets like that, believe me, it means she’s barely eating.

  42. anon

    Not too skinny, but very plain to look at.

  43. louise56563

    she is fantastic.I begin to understand why so many people at http://sugarlandy.blogspot.com discuss her and share her videos all the day.

  44. ellybell

    um… it’s the light that’s making her look so skinny. look at her waist. some of the side is almost totally whited out by the sunlight but it is there – otherwise her stomach wouldn’t be reaching the string of her bikini bottoms which would mean she was… i dunno… a really badly drawn picture or something. she’s not too skinny, she’s perfect. if she was too thin, her thighs would be emaciated looking and so would her arms

  45. Sheva

    Clearly not of American origin. This girl does not eat Big Macs.
    She looks great. As for breasts, damn good. Natural is best.

  46. Cate

    OMG… how did nobody comment on her happy trail hair yet??? Sweet jesus, bleach that shit, woman.

  47. Gabriel

    OMG…I had to flip over to the pics of Mena Suvari in a bikini really quick before the sight of Seymore made me puke all over my keyboard.

    This chick has no meat on her bones!

  48. perfect fagure. GOD created men and womem so that the world become perfect! just want to the half of yours , just do it .follow me . I hope you can find your true love

  49. I can’t decide if she’s hot or hideous. That’s never good.

  50. darcy

    You celebutard blogs pretty much split your time calling people either too fat or too skinny. But mostly too fat.

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