Teri Seymour wears a bikini, could use a good meal or ten

December 28th, 2007 // 179 Comments

My original headline for this post was “Simon Cowell attacked by rogue Ethopian.” Then I did some investigative journalism (i.e. Wikipedia) and learned that it’s actually Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour who’s on vacation in Barbados for the holiday. I can understand why he keeps her around. She seems handy. Simon could always use Teri as a walking stick if he were on a long hike. Or, I dunno, maybe as a karate staff if he wanted to fight crime or play Ninja Turtles with Ryan Seacrest who always wants to be “Naked Shredder.”

Photos: Splash News

  1. Joesdad


  2. RichPort

    I wonder if she had a Simon’s face painted inside her toilet bowl, so she can feel better when she barfs on it?

  3. RichPort

    Someone needs to attack his chest with a weedwhacker.

  4. Mella

    Teri and Simon: bravely waging war against muscle tone.

  5. wastedOne

    What? She looks good! I mean there is some backside to her ass…hips…just needs a boob job and she’d be banging

  6. kate

    She’s not that skinny… look at the walking away shot. Great butt.

  7. jumpin_j

    Looks like she’s either been getting bad lipo or she cranked out a kid. Isn’t that a scar running down her tummy.

  8. Thomas

    Bony wretch, completely bland. Her ass is a 5 out of 10 and confused at being attached to this too skinny bitch. Why is she a bitch? It comes from being injected with Simon Cowell. You’d think she could hide a mini-fridge in that rat’s nest of hair so she could down a sandwich once in a while.

  9. shallow val

    Ugh, she looks like a banana.

  10. Lady Zombie

    She’s not too thin at all! I think she looks great.

    And Cowell is a big, dough-faced, ugly ass munch. Fuck him. He doesn’t deserve anything that hot.

  11. Realist

    She is NOT too skinny. What are you talking about? She looks good.

  12. CB

    Are you kidding? That’s MONEY$$$

  13. I’m glad he explained to me who the fuck she is or I would have not cared about this at all..

  14. Bryn

    She doesn’t look THAT skinny. I think she has a good body, and I am the first to call out anorexics. No, that would be my mom, but she’s a little rexors herself.

  15. lalaland

    wow, shes FINE! if anything i would think it would be SIMON you would call out on this one, look at that hairy beast!
    if she had bigger boobs you wouldnt be saying she’s skinny, and for the record, her boobs are fine.
    but i’m thinking her sternum could have a few less boney bumps stickin out

  16. jakers

    you’re crazy, she looks good. nothin’ wrong with that body

  17. Mick

    What the hell are you talking about?! Her body is a normal size. You are just use to looking at fatties!

  18. Shawn

    YOU NUTS !!!!

    THAT is a Perfect Body !!!

    To Jennifer Love Hewitt, Thats what a Body Should Look Like……

    Great Job Teri … Big Respects..

  19. deaconjones

    She looks like the weirdo from the Simpsons…sideshow Bob or whatever

  20. Ript1&0

    I’m with you dude: this chick is too skinny.

    However, did you not just post her as the bikini shot for us to look at all weekend? So we can all gawk at her frame for days? Please tell me not…

    Sidenote = Look at Simon’s manly chesty bear hair!! I wanna bury my face in that!!

  21. It’s good that she’s skinny now because we all know that if she ever eats that dessert that makes women gain the most weight (i.e., wedding cake), she’ll be a fatty in no time.

  22. love to bang her butt! lol

  23. MiamiJoe

    Simon Cowell dates females? That’s hilarious. You’re such a joker.

  24. maximmm

    There is no perfection people. Woman’s body is either too fat or too thin. At least, that seems to be the logic of this site’s writer.

  25. Tempe

    Get off! Teri looks great! Beautiful girl. She doesn’t need a boob job either. The girl doesn’t have to look like a cow to be beautiful. I must say, SImon is looking very nice as well. Sexy man… very sexy.

  26. Shallo Val

    She’s like Thandie Newton; gross and skeletal. Only nice thing on her is her hair.

  27. shallow val

    YOu can see her entire ribcage. How is that healthy? If she was a dog, someone would bo going to jail for underfeeding it.

  28. what the hwat

    In the 5th picture, where she’s bending over…did her boob fall out of her bikini? Check it out, that’s surely not fat on her body that ‘s coming over the top…

  29. Conscience Found

    Heathens: stop judging people on their appearance. to do so is superficial or something. the one woman who is not obese in america and you all get on her for being too thin. this is how God intended women to look, not engorged by value meals and cosmopolitans.

  30. minniememe

    she has one of the ugliest butts i’ve seen here… even JLH’s ass is nicer than this chick’s… at least JLH’s ass has some roundness to it. this girl’s body has no redeeming qualities other than organ donation

  31. zz

    she isnt too thin i dont think
    i think she jus doesnt have boobs…
    if she was any bigger than u would be makin fun of that
    so get over it

  32. Jenna

    She does not look healthy at all. A classic sign of an eating disorder is when the top of your arm and the bottom of your arm are the same size, it signals malnourishment. Just look at Posh Spice and you also see that.

  33. stumbler

    this chick’s body is amazing. perfect on top, bottom, front and back. simon on the other hand…

  34. kitty_kat

    I really don’t get Fish sometimes. How is this chick any more emanciated than Alessandra et al?

  35. minniememe

    now i remember! she looks like one of those walking corpses from Quake!

  36. Jenna

    That’s true. Maybe the author is getting beaten up by people for always saying skinny women are hot.

  37. secybitch

    I also think she has a really good body. Fuck the fatties

  38. pointandlaugh

    good God she has an unattractive ass. EWWW

  39. pointandlaugh

    kitty_kat – December 28, 2007 4:41 PM

    I really don’t get Fish sometimes. How is this chick any more *emanciated* than Alessandra et al?

    I’m sure she’s just as free as any other celebrity.

  40. Warren Piece

    First off – she’s hot (nice boobs, good but, some arm muscle), and you’re a retard for thinking otherwise.

    Secondly – WTF is with Cowell? His head is HUGE, and his right forearm is way bigger/thicker/longer than his left. LOOK AT IT! It’s bizarre.

  41. Actually

    The headline on this article should read: Teri Seymour wears a bikini and would be a good meal. She makes me want to eat that other white meat.

  42. Warren Piece

    First off – she’s hot 9nice boobs, good but, some arm muscle0, and you’re a retard for thinking otherwise.

    Secondly – WTF is with Cowell? His head is HUGE, and his right forearm is way bigger/thicker/longer than his left. LOOK AT IT! It’s bizarre.

  43. joeypants

    It’s called being in shape and just because it’s not the norm here in the US doesn’t mean it’s out of the ordinary. If you’re reading this right now and disagree, remember this… it’s your own fault that you’re fat. I CAN’T STAND YOU FAT, LAZY FUCKS!

  44. kitty_kat

    @40- I don’t follow you…

  45. Sigh

    Sigh… you guys don’t know what a human is meant to look like… too thin.. waaay too thin

  46. TheHairOnSimon'sChest

    Teri stays so thin because all she gets to eat is the hair on simon’s chest. If Chuck Norris ever wants top change his hair color to black. He could get the hair for his toupee off of crowell’s chest.

  47. kitty_kat

    @40- Oh! I see! I accidentally said EMANCIATED instead of EMACIATED. Of course I wasn’t actually referring to freedom because that would be EMANCIPATION, wouldn’t it? Typo. Big friggin’ whoop.

  48. lambman

    She looks like an “Ethopian” and a skeleton and needs “a good meal or ten” but Jessica Alba looks perfect and Eva Longoria looks hot? Both those women are a lot thinner than this chick.

  49. Pid

    She has the weirdest belly :S

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