Teri Hatcher wins money

*teri is richTeri Hatcher has accepted “very substantial” libel damages over false allegations that she had regular sex with a series of men in a van parked outside her home.

In an article published in the Daily Sport entitled “Teri’s Passion Wagon”, it was alleged that Hatcher “takes lovers for steamy bangs in a battered old banger.” Certain statements were falsely attributed to Hatcher, including “when my van’s a-rockin’, don’t come knockin'”, and “it is sexy and hot to get to grips with a guy in my Passion Wagon”. Her lawyer told the judge: “The grossly defamatory allegations are entirely false, deeply offensive and utterly without foundation.”

Well this is a big relief, because when Teri and I were having regular sex in that van she sure as hell didn’t mention any other guys. Or that she had a 7-year-old daughter. Or that her daughter was driving the van. Man, that bitch was kinky.