Teri Hatcher is the new face of Clairol

Hatcher_Clairol.jpgDesperate Housewives star, Teri Hatcher, has become the new spokeswoman for Clairol’s Nice ‘n Easy hair color, joining the ranks of Linda Evans and Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Clairol’s newest celebrity puppet. The actress, who’s apparently been going a tad grey since she was 25, uses Clairol’s “medium golden brown,” and is reportedly very happy with the results.

Alright, Hatcher, we don’t have much time, so listen, and listen good. You’re safe right now, and you’ll remain so if you keep sticking to the brown tones. But if you ever go near anything even remotely close to a box of red hair color, then you better be ready to pack up your things and run for the hills. Shh! Just listen! I told you we don’t have much time! If Marcia Cross sees you on television with red hair, she will throw down. She’ll hunt you for sport like an animal, and when she finds you, she’ll rip off her wig to reveal a jagged, disfiguring scar. Then she’ll be all like, “Kiss the scar, Teri, kiss the scar!” And that’ll be it for you, Hatcher. That’ll be it for you. I’ve seen it time and time again on Melrose Place, and if memory serves, everything on that show was true and made perfect sense.

Wait. I think I hear Marcia coming. I have to go. You’ve been warned!