Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest break up

May 3rd, 2006 // 89 Comments

hatcher-seacrest-kiss.jpgTeri Hatcher explained on Oprah yesterday that she and Ryan Seacrest haven’t seen each other since the day they were caught kisisng.

“I haven’t seen him since that day, so all the stuff about everything else is just made up.” She added that, on the day of the smooch


  1. LickyLicky

    First again?

  2. HiAlisonC

    Call me Alison.

  3. LickyLicky

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s a good fucking day today, Superficial MoFos!

  4. sweetcheeks

    Making out with Teri Hatcher would be like tongue kissing a corpse.

    A corpse who had been sexually abused and had constant diarrhea of the mouth.

  5. Akapee

    What a fucking shame

  6. Celeb_Hater

    So close to first yet so far.

    Ryan Seacrest is the doucheiest of all douches.

  7. Celeb_Hater

    Wow not even close- people comment FAST.

  8. Yayday

    You know George tossed her one good and then moved on

  9. sweetcheeks

    I saw a picture of Seacrest “kissing” a stripper in Us Weekly. I say “kissing” because

    a) I didn’t know it was humanly possible to extend a tongue that far out of the mouth

    b) Her throat was bulging from the pressure and

    c) I think it was actually an Orca tongue. It was all big and bumpy, just like a killer whale’s.

  10. Italian Stallion

    I think Teri Hatcher is beautiful, he is crazy never to talk to her again…….

    Ryan Seacrest is not gay, when are you guys gonna leave the star of American Idol alone?
    I don’t see any of you kissing Teri Hatcher….

  11. 86

    What were we talking about again?

  12. Fisher55

    If Ryan Seacrest was straight, he wouldn’t be kissing *Teri Hatcher*…that was totally a photo op

  13. DonLes91

    Stallion, that was sarcasm, right? I’m used to seeing putdowns from you and that really threw me off. Besides, everybody knows RSLTC.

  14. CoJo

    I think the second reason he couldn’t do this with her (aside from the fact that he sooo loves the cock Tom Cruise style) is that she was beginning to look a little too much like a to’ up Whitney Houston…look at her!

  15. krisdylee

    #11 I believe we were talking about Land-Man’s cock. Or lack thereof.

  16. So much for killing those gay rumors.


  17. BoobsForBob

    Who fucking cares…

    Besides…Teri Hatcher has lopsided tits. Wasn’t there a movie she was in after ‘Lois and Clark’ and it was a big deal cuz she flashed her tits…and then we all found out they were lopsided…so unless she got a job done…not interested…that and she should play the wicked witch of the west from some closeups I’ve seen.

  18. Junebug

    You don’t wear a ballcap and sweatpants on a 3rd date…you save that for when you’ve been married for a year or two and couldn’t care less.

  19. PapaHotNuts

    They were just simply celebrating his new job as host of the new show “America’s Saddle-Bag-Faced Idol” and her impending victory.

  20. bjpack

    Actually this was all the result of a mean practical joke. Simon convinced Ryan that Teri Hatcher was the guy who played the woman/man in “The Crying Game.” Ryan saw this as an opportunity to “have his cake (cock?) and eat it too” but was surprised to find out that there was no cake (cock) to be had.

  21. Obviously they were both in cahoots to make Ryan look straight… Teri is dumb enough to help with that sort of thing, you know? It’s all a big setup and anyone would be a tool if they really thought Teri or Ryan was even the slightest bit infatuated.

  22. Jacq

    How does a straight woman break-up with a gay man?
    I guess she’s taking her ass somewhere else.

  23. Dr.Rokter

    There’s something singularly distressing about thinking of your tongue getting coated with chunks from Terri Hatcher’s lobstery piehole.

  24. Italian Stallion

    @13 of course………..

  25. Fisher55

    23, thanks for making me puke up my pancakes before i had a chance to do it myself in the office bathroom

  26. PapaHotNuts

    I met Seacrest one time at a Quik-Stop in Scranton one time and he we made out by the broken pay phone. It was probably the greatest day of my life. I wanted to call all my friends and tell them about it, but as I said before, the pay phone was broken.

  27. PapaHotNuts

    Sorry about # 26- I can’t type this morning. That’s what happens when you don’t work very often. Unless you call watching Ryan Seacrest get undressed from behind the bushes at his bedroon window a job.

  28. krisdylee

    I’d really like to kick Teri in the clit.

  29. krisdylee

    Ryan too.

  30. PapaHotNuts,
    from PA too? Now I won’t have to go that far to stalk ya!

  31. PapaHotNuts,
    from PA too? Now I won’t have to go that far to stalk ya!

  32. pinky_nip

    I think Seacrust got freaked out when she kept screaming “fuck me uncle”.

  33. mattnoks

    Is it just me or have the posts on the superficial been completely unfunny the last few days. Its like all the good writers went on strike, kind of like them mexicans. Viva Mexico!

  34. OMG. Here I was beginning to think Seacrest wasn’t gay. But now my world is shattered. The only way to fix it is for Ryan to say those magical words on the air………

    Tom Cruise, Out!

  35. penguinwaddle

    i miss edna:(

  36. MaryBackstayge

    “Teri Hatcher explained on Oprah yesterday that she and Ryan Seacrest haven’t seen each other since the day they were caught kisisng.”

    I suppose “kisisng” is something that corpses and closeted gay men do. It doesn’t sound pretty. Because it isn’t.

  37. PapaHotNuts

    Why would you think I’m from PA? Because I have “PA” in my name?

    Are you from AR? MA? MS? AL? LA?

    I’m actually from the school of hard knocks, located in the state of confusion.

  38. Supermodelmom1

    Men! Give up the goods too early and they’re gone.

  39. Look at that kiss, I mean, really examine it. Does that look passionate? Or does it look like the kiss shared between two relatives that don’t like each other? And Ryan “can’t do this”? He must be the only gay guy in Hollywood that can fuck up a staged relationship. It’s called acting, Ryan, Tom Cruise does it all the time. One last thought – how long before Teri cries to whoever will put her on the cover of a magazine about how she was fingerbanged by Ryan. Seacrest, out… yes, yes indeed.

  40. BarbadoSlim

    You’ve been kissing whales there sweetcheeks..?
    Once you go the non-human mammals route there’s no going back, save ya-self, for down that road only lies insanity.

    On another matter, I’m guessing that Seacrest thought Hatchet was post-op, she/he’s really pre-op, hasn’t all her/his piping installed.

  41. Lou

    I’m guessing this relationship would have gone on allot longer if she hadn’t kept pressuring him to have sex in a van outside her house.

  42. Papa, I think it was the fact that you referred to making out with Seacrest in Scranton. Why the hell would anyone be in Scranton, unless they lived there?

  43. He has done this to someone else. He told another girl that he wasn’t pretty enough to date him. What a skeeze!

  44. Italian Stallion

    I once was in Scranton and bet some lady on the street corner $100 dollars that she couldn’t get me off. A cop saw this and was gonna arrest me but couldn’t decide if it was gambling or prostitution. Cop’s are dumb in general but they are really stupid in Scranton, cause he let me go…………

  45. Italian Stallion

    By the way if you were wondering, I lost the bet…….

  46. Zanna

    From the source:

    She added that, on the day of the smooch

  47. Please, My grandmother gets more tongue than that at one of her bridge club lunches. That was a gay guy and his fag out out for a day of shopping.

  48. WTF

    I just farted.

  49. Lipgloss Assassin

    maybe it was the lobster?

    but it probably was the crabs.

    or teri’s penis.

    kind of a tough call on this one

  50. I’m sorry – I just picked myself up off the floor laughing hysterically for three hours after trying to imagine Ryan Seacrest as a love ‘em and leave ‘em type.

    What I miss?

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