Teresa Giudice: A Profile In Courage

Teresa Giudice went to prison for tax, mail, and wire fraud because she and her husband are stupid, greedy materialistic shit-husks who did stupid greedy shit for materialistic shit. For her crimes – that she still denies she committed (she did) – Teresa was given a slap-on-the-wrist sentence at a country club prison that let her out early for good behavior. Except to hear her tell her story, which ABC News couldn’t wait to do, you’d think she was goddamn Nelson Mandela:

In her first television interview since being released from federal prison, “Real Housewives of New Jersey” star Teresa Giudice said she experienced horrible living conditions while incarcerated and described it like “living in hell.”
“I mean there was mold in the bathrooms. There was not running water constantly. The showers were freezing cold … I mean, the living conditions were really horrible. Like, horrible,” she said in an exclusive interview with ABC News’ Amy Robach that aired Tuesday on “Good Morning America.” “There were some nights that we didn’t even have heat … It was — it was hell.”

Oh, dear Lord, tell us more, rich white lady who got to walk right out of prison and go back on TV to make more rich white lady money.

“There was no intent to commit a crime. I didn’t know I was committing a crime …,” Giudice told Robach. “I got sentenced. I got served time. I did what I had to do and now I’m moving past it.”
When she reported to prison, the mother of four girls went from a life of luxury and celebrity to life with the bare minimum as inmate number 65703-050.
“It, you know, broke my heart because, you know, I was always growing up the good girl, always did everything right, crossed every ‘t’, dotted every ‘i.’ And, you know, so it was … I was sad for my daughters. And I was upset,” she said.

But Teresa’s struggles didn’t end there. Sometimes women would be photographed next to her husband, and this poor, sweet man who’s been constantly caught cheating on her in the past, would be accused of cheating on her. Swing low, sweet chariot! PEOPLE reports:

“No women has ever come up to me and said that my husband was having an affair with them,” Teresa tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week’s issue. “It’s sad that if there are any women around him people take pictures of him and sell the photos to a magazine. I feel bad for him.”

So none of the women your husband has been banging on the side told you they were banging him on the side? Oh, well, shit, then he can’t possibly be cheating. Have sex with him without a condom before he goes to jail then. It’ll be fun.

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