‘Teen Mom’ Leah Files For Divorce

Christ, did they all get implants? It’s like they made a pact.

Despite filming a fairy tale wedding for the Teen Mom 2 season finale, Leah Messer filed for divorce from her husband Corey Simms on Friday and the very next day let MTV film her crying in the woods where most people go to read their legal documents. I personally won’t sign a contract unless I’m engulfed in moss. True story. RadarOnline reports:

The split was included in a lengthy list of divorce filings reported in Saturday’s Charleston Gazette-Mail. “Leah Messer Simms from Corey Simms,” it simply said.
But there is nothing simple or uncomplicated about this uncoupling. Leah and Corey, who wed October 17 in Charleston, are parents to 16-month-old twins Aleeah and Aliannah. Ali was was born with several disabilities, and her young parents discussed the challenges they faced with her in a episode of their show.

People with a vagina tell me these two divorced because Corey supposedly took money from Ali’s medical fund to buy a truck which I’m just going to go ahead and believe because they’re from West Virginia. Regardless, this has to be the eight millionth example of how retarded it is to compound the mistake of a teen pregnancy by forcing two kids to get married. Because shoving them into the most suffocating relationship dynamic possible that grown adults without kids can barely cope with is going to work out awesome. But try telling fanatical Christian southerners that. “If you ask me, the problem is they ain’t got enough guns. Ain’t nothin’ a pile of guns can’t fix. Marriages, clogged turlets, colic (Both horse and infant.), gingervitis… I can sit here all day.”

Photos: Splash News