They Put ‘Teen Mom’ Jenelle in a Bikini

April 6th, 2011 // 131 Comments

Because why wouldn’t you treat a teenage girl who carelessly got pregnant like a glamorous celebrity? (Or pay one seven times what you actually spent on teen pregnancy prevention to promote abstinence.) Here’s Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans following in the footsteps of Farrah Abraham by posing for entirely staged bikini photos. And you’re not crazy, this is the same Teen Mom that just last week was arrested for a trailer park throwdown and then sold the video of it. So she’s easy and business savvy which makes Rosie right: These girls are positive role models. How do I get them to speak at school assemblies? I pay taxes.

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Wait….where’s the tits?! WTF is she breast feeding with…..oh I know, crack

  2. Turd Ferguson


  3. Drew

    Thanks for the Farrah link, I somehow forgot about that ridiculously nice body.

    Yeah I like fake tits, what up?

    • Yeah, that bitch is looking good in that bikini on the beach. I would love to bang that little ass of hers.

      • mel

        really? just by the look of her face, i know her a-wagon would be unusually pungent. and she looks like she spends too much time ripping oxy’s. gross though, mr. piss. your wang would stink for a month after plunging that dirt distributor. best to just give her the kardashian facial and spay some excellence in her eye. i’m here to help sir.

      • mel

        whoops, i guess i should have noticed that you weren’t referring to jenelle. fuck what i said about being here to help.

  4. I would say that because she’s a mom she should have tits, but she doesn’t parent and is hardly a mother.

  5. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like pressing playdough to a newspaper and stretching it.

  6. that ink ruined what might have been a gorgeous body. worth shit now

    • Jon and Kate Plus Hate

      I think in this case the ink only tells us what we already know, and I am sure I have seen bad ink on Big Breasted girls so I do not think there is a correlation; ergo the tat didn’t cause the lack of breast.

    • I’d say the ruined vagina did the job before the tattoo.

  7. Think the network would pay me to put another baby in her, because I could really use the money.

  8. FuckYou

    Fuck you asshole. You are probably an old, overweight bitch. Fuck off and get a real job.

    • Any Guy

      stop defending your daughter and/or granddaughter here on this site, and just make sure she keeps crankin’ out those White Trash kids for $$$. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH.

  9. Stretch marks, porn star tattoo, ear grommet, dangly belly button piercing…is there anything she could do for a more complete picture of white trash? Oh right…teen mom.

    • CakeSnifferer

      You’re right, the picture contains all the required elements, including the busted face which you didn’t mention but I’m sure you thought of. If you could X-Ray the jeans, you’d probably see the food stamp card.

    • yep she has defiantely made sure the world know she’s white trash!

  10. Any Guy

    she’s got that Wal-Mart photo-booth smile down pat. now she just needs to contract AIDS and pass it to every executive of eMpTyV. then the world will be right again.

  11. Richard McBeef

    After pregnancy this kid looks better than mariah carey before pregnancy so she has that going for her.

  12. mean tina

    looks like she had a cescarian. at that age? likey she has herpes.

    i know how to fuel them rumors! yowdy.

  13. horn dog

    She makes my outtie an innie. Oh, and WHORE: Ladysmith Black Mambazo called, they want you to return the earrings they presented you when they found you in the sewer as a newborn

  14. Anasztaizia

    Awww, that’s cute, it’s the pre-boob-job photo. Where’s the after? Or hasn’t this one had time for that yet?

  15. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she should’ve put the money into some boobs instead of tattoos.

  16. stevedallas


    *puts on glasses*


  17. Yikers

    She looks like a trashy version of Alicia Silverstone, yea? Circa Clueless era.

  18. dR

    Nice pot leaf belly piercing… setting a great example for teens. This is role-model material here.

  19. S'up Bitches!

    Three words: Get ….some…..tits…..

  20. ludichrisspeed

    If you stare into her eyes for a few seconds her face begins to look like a black hole.

  21. Deacon Jones


    I’ve seen much, much worse.

  22. mel

    straight outta compton…crazy motherfucker named jenelle! used toilet paper is more dignified than this stank, ghetto rat.

  23. Randal

    If she stuck to giving head she wouldn’t have gotten knocked up.

  24. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    A forty and half a joint will get her right back out of it.

  25. brian

    only a matter of time before she gets breast implants

  26. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit. That FACE. Don’t mess with meth.

  27. I’m surprised there are no cars driving on the beach.

  28. sakara

    stoopid teen girls will always get more media exposure than any old geezer who graduated from harvard or yale.

  29. Rick

    I’m kinda torn on this one. She has a pretty fit body, and girls w/small tits tend to be really wild in the sheets. But then you have all those tattoos, and her trunk is a bit thick. I don’t know, how’s her personallity?
    Fuck, who am I kidding, as long as its clean I’d nail it.

  30. cdc

    she got a look in her eyes that says i will fuck your brains out and i bet she would

  31. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Those earring looks gross, but hey it matches the rest of her.

  32. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Look how contemplative I am in front of paparazzi. Hey! Maybe I should get another tattoo! That will show everyone how deep I am. It’s going to be on my back reading: “Don’t pull out, I need more money”

  33. Put her in the most deluxe chocolate pie and she’ll still be an atrocious little asshole.

  34. Wotwot

    “Come and get it y’all.”

  35. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Jenelle is so white trash, that she’s kind of hot.

    I’d bang her.

  36. I have the exact same belly ring. The difference is I don’t wear it if my belly will be exposed. I’m classy like that.

    • Jovy

      I hate it when people feel the need to show the world just how much they love pot. Don’t get me wrong I love weed. But you’ll never see me wearing a fucken shirt with a leaf and the words “Legalize it” on the front.

      • Rancid

        Agreed. Most people are happy to ignore us as long as we don’t act like fucking morons. When I see people putting bongs in their infants’ hands and then posting this shit on the internet, I fucking go crazy. It totally feeds into the prohibitionist propaganda.

  37. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m with Brian – i can’t wait for her to end up doing porn to pay the bills.

  38. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    stretched ears AND acrylic french nails? her style cant decide it just has to follow EVERY trend.

  39. asdf

    It doesn’t even look warm out.

  40. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I was going to say something snarky, but then I did some research and found out this piece of trash is 19 (I didn’t know, I don’t watch the show). Now I just want to shit on her. Literally. At 19 my mother had a young baby (me) and was in college. Of course, she had married my father BEFORE GETTING PREGNANT. BECAUSE SHE MAY HAVE BEEN POOR AND WHITE, BUT SHE WASN’T GODDAMN TRASH!

    It’s those damn earlobes. Brings out the hate in me.

  41. paul

    she needs to get knocked up again to get her boobs back.

  42. Way too young

    These pictures do not work, firstly, she needs a spray tan, make up, and a helmet head hair style. And, secondly, to really pull at America’s heart strings, she needs to be seen putting 70spf sunscreen on her kid who should be under an umbrella with a hat on, and playing with a dorky pan and shovel throwing sand at her.

  43. Guest

    I kind of feel bad for her, I mean look at HER mum. She didn’t have a chance.

  44. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    wow. that is one of the ugliest things i have ever seen on this site,,, and i frequent often….

  45. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a 12 year old

  46. the captain

    you wonder why her nickname is “Ugly Kid Joe”?

  47. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    edson francisco bonfim
    Commented on this photo:

    very good , good photos .

  48. Teen Mom Jenelle Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a milk carton…

  49. downwithmuffins

    jena malone + avril lavigne = NO

  50. Hellisforsissies

    I lost count is this goddess #46 or #47 for Charlie Sheen?

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