Teen Mom Farrah’s Mom Kicked Her Out

April 18th, 2013 // 57 Comments
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Farrah Abraham Bikini
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“But who’s going to raise my daughter for free?”

I’m going to try and present this in the most humble way possible, but clearly Teen Mom Farrah‘s mom read my letter and found it be so fuck-full of truth and wisdom that my words transformed her into a glowing beam of pure awesome that physically launched Farrah right out of the house. I don’t know how else you put that. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Farrah tell us, the two have been arguing tooth and nail ever since … so today, Farrah packed up a U-Haul and hit the road.
Sources say Farrah’s mother gave her the boot … but Farrah tells us, “After meeting with my counselor today, I’ve packed up everything and I’m not talking to my mom anymore.”
She adds, “My mother will never be a good mother to me and it is too hurtful to deal with let alone have my daughter Sophia around it.”

So this “counselor” looked at this situation and went, “Why, yes, Farrah, your mother should’ve supported you lying about the pornographic movie you made because you thought you could just fuck your way to being the next Kim Kardashian without putting in the necessary groundwork of leeching off Paris Hilton and Brandy first. Sitting alone in an apartment while you chase unrealistic career goals will be way better for your daughter than being around the grandmother who’s been raising her this whole time.” By any chance was this person a teddy bear in a trench coat you’d had since you were six? More importantly, did he recently switch careers from modeling agent to licensed therapist? Because, holy shit, is this guy a quack. You should sue for malpractice.

Photo: Pacific Coast News


  1. Breaking News: A pack of wolves has just come forward to raise the child involved in this. The wolves said they felt it would be a safer and more healthy environment, adding “Jesus Christ, all we ever do is eat one or two pups when they’re not going to make it. You people make a spectacle out of it.”

  2. Wow, two feel-good stories in one day? I should go buy a lottery ticket.

    But seriously, this just got way worse for the kid. Assuming Farrah took her along. She’s probably in the U-Haul.

  3. MTV is just salivating for their new hit series “2 years old and my moms an idiot” and the follow up show “13 and pregnant”

  4. liar, liar, die in a fire.

  5. Smapdi

    Your life decision-making skills have served you well so far Farrah, so nothing to worry about! Now don’t forget to pay an extra dollar for a wildcard pick when you are buying your lottery tickets!

  6. DeucePickle

    If she got paid 2 million dollars, why would she care if she got “kicked out” ?

    • Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, but I don’t exactly picture her being a shrewd financial planner.

    • she didn’t get paid $2 million dollars, that was the lie she was telling when she was pretending she had a “private sex tape” and said that’s what she’d consider selling it for.

      • Burt

        Yup. She’s already been paid and signed a waiver.

        And, I think this story is BS, too. Her mom’s trying to save face. She claims to be religious. If so, can you imagine the number of church ladies who called her because they smelled BS in her story?

  7. The “counselor” is Kris Jenner: She’s going to add this b*itch to her gravy train!

  8. Randal

    Me thinks we see a new superstar in the horizon, and a single mom to boot! See you at the Oscars Farrah.


  9. Invisible smartphone selfie.

  10. Farrah Abraham's butt is clearly visible in this still from her beach photo shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Her sphincter could use a good tongue-jabbing.

  11. It looks like the Mom is an avid reader of the Superficial.Kudos to her for growing a pair of lady balls (which will hereafter be referred to as “Thatchers”)

    I look forward to your porn career, Farrah. It’s not a bad living if you have the stomach for it and your head on straight. I seriously doubt you have the latter. Explaining it to your daughter? I can’t help you there.

  12. Maybe the mother is a goddamned genius, and paid some homeless dude to put on a suit and glasses, show up and introduce himself as a ‘counselor’, and then read the mother’s prepared script of ‘oh yeah, move the fuck out, right away, just pack up all your shit and set sail pronto!’

  13. Mr. Poop

    Farrah is easily the runaway favorite for whore of the year IMHO

  14. unemployedingreenland


  15. Cock Dr

    Somewhere in her travels within the underbelly of American society a man will eventually offer Farrah money for access to her child.
    I hope she’s making enough in her new career that she isn’t tempted.

  16. Urban Girl

    Really, who would pay even a penny to see this HorseFace naked.

  17. So her mother holds the same view of Farrah’s character as the porn partner who outed her fabrications. Somewhere in there is a joke about “strange bedfellows.”

  18. JD

    I really wish Jennifer Nicole Lee, Kim Kardashian and this broad could somehow go down in a plane together over the deepest part of the ocean.

  19. JD

    Oh, and Rihanna.

  20. arealcad

    Toys in the attic and they’re all broken.

  21. Word has it the porn thing was $100,000. Someone got ripped off and it wasn’t Farrah. http://www.examiner.com/article/teen-mom-farrah-abraham-offered-100k-for-first-porn-film

  22. Farrah Abraham walks along the shoreline in a sparkling halter top style bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s a bit sad is that SO many of these camera-friendly people are actually cartoon characters in their private life. Not all of ‘em, not even most of ‘em, but lots of ‘em. Like some kind of alien clone.

  23. In other news…I have recently developed a crush on the Kia Robot Girl. Not on the model who portrays her, Alyssa Campanella, but on the robot herself. I’ve got weird fantasies involving shooting baby batter into her gears and electronics, and stuff.

  24. anonymous

    Who is she trying to fool? “Counselor” = pimp. Her pimp told her to move out.

  25. I am over this dumb bitch, you can stop doing stories about her now.

  26. get serious

    Not only is she a whore (def: girl who is paid to have sex), but she’s a STUPID whore as well…

  27. kery

    She is so nasty …and whore

  28. I wish she would have kicked her own kid out….. of her uterus.

  29. weirdo

    I don’t think James Deen’s a little dick- I think Farrah’s a big cunt!

  30. Jersey Girl

    What an entitled ugly brat who is rude, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish, self-cenetered, disrespectful and an excuse for a human. She has major issues. Daddy is wrapped around her well-polished finger, Mom is the only one who makes any sense, and sadly has not set boundaries against someone, even a daughter or husband showing such disrespect..
    Mom, Loving your daughter means setting healthy loving boundaries. Farrah needs to be kicked out on her butt…Let’s see how well this world deals with such ugliness.
    Farrah – get professional help. At this time, you are a loser, please don’t continue being one, especially for your child. Righteous wench.

  31. Farrah Abraham walks along the shoreline in a sparkling halter top style bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    i wonder if vivid booked her daughter’s future sex tape in the contract too

  32. Farrah Abraham's butt is clearly visible in this still from her beach photo shoot
    Hail The Mighty Lucifer
    Commented on this photo:

    Blown out asshole. In the vid. Looks like a busted volcano.

  33. Farrah Abraham kneels in the sand in a black swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Square vagina. Why??

  34. Farrah Abraham holds up her arms against a clear blue skyline during her beach photo shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    …and push that self-respect and dignity waaaay over there – you won’t be needing it where you’re headed.

  35. Farrah Abraham looking off during her photo shoot on the beach
    Commented on this photo:

    Not to put too fine a point on it, but “Poolside Collection” implies a pool, not a “Slimy Rock Perhaps She Will Slip Collection.”

  36. Farrah Abraham appears shocked while wearing a black swimsuit in the waves
    Commented on this photo:

    She sure is one unattractive looking hoe !!

  37. Farrah Abraham walks along the shoreline in a sparkling halter top style bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    no thanks

  38. Farrah Abraham walks along the shoreline in a sparkling halter top style bikini
    Commented on this photo:


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