Teen Mom Farrah Made A Sex Tape. Of Course.

UPDATE: It’s porn. She made actual porn.

Fresh off the heels of getting a DUI and pouring hot wax on a toddler’s face, Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham made a sex tape that’s currently being shopped around because we now live in a world where being Kim Kardashian is considered a career goal. Hey, Rick Warren’s son, wait up! TMZ reports:

According to sources who have seen the tape, Farrah and a male partner (possibly her ex-boyfriend) go at it for about 30 minutes … full-on sex … in various positions. We’re told it was recently shot.
Our sources say the person selling the tape has already shown it to some of the biggest XXX companies and is looking to make a deal.

Just so it’s clear Farrah’s selling the tape herself, here she is doing an ass horrible job pretending she’ll sue. Also, prepared to be shocked when she literally doesn’t know what the word “elaborate” means even though these Teen Moms are usually so smart it’s a miracle they haven’t cured cancer yet:

And for fun, below is Farrah calling into TMZ Live after her DUI arrest and trying to explain that she wasn’t driving drunk but was just simply operating a moving a vehicle down the street to park it because that, totally, doesn’t count as driving, you guys, and she doesn’t even drink except when like friends hand her stuff, duh:

Full Disclosure: I only made it to the 1:40 mark before praying to whatever god will listen that her sex tape is a snuff film.

Photos: Splash News