Welcome to the magical time between Christmas and New Year’s when The Superficial lazily rehashes all the posts you sick sons of bitches couldn’t get enough of. This year, in lieu of a Top 10, we’ve decided to break it down by the best post of each month so we can all relive the joy and majesty of 2011, and more importantly, give me an extra two posts to phone in so I can sit around thumbing my Christmas loot.
JANUARY
Posted: 1.7.2011
During the early months of 2011, MTV’s Teen Mom was somehow way more popular than a reality show glorifying underage dipshits who couldn’t figure out how condoms work had any right to be. On top of that, these chicks were taking their MTV paychecks, immediately turning them into brand new bolt-ons and then parading around in bikini pictures. A trend that started with Farrah Abraham (above) because she’s something of a modern-day Sojourner Truth if not way more important. “While the right to vote is paramount to our cause, will it cock-tease a man into buying you shoes?” – Susan B. Anthony, 1776.
Original Post: ‘Teen Mom’ Farrah is in a Bikini, And Those Are Definitely Implants
Photos: Splash News
Paramount, Fish, is the word I think you want.
“During the early months of 2011, MTV’s Teen Mom was somehow way more popular than a reality show glorifying underage dipshits who couldn’t figure out how condoms work had any right to be.”
Somehow? Somehow? Really? You can’t figure it out? YOU caused it. you and others like you who kept writing about these no-talent skanks.
Fish glorifies it? do you know what site you’re on Captain Obvious? The Superficial exists to mock these people, not glorify them. get off your high horse, because you signed up to this site – so wouldn’t you be part of your own problem? douche.
Wow… aren’t you a touchy choad smoker.
Who said anything about glorifying it? The point was that if no one paid attention to these no-talent fame whores, they would go away.
Ah, the ole’ choad smoker comeback. Dude get the fuck off this site if you don’t know what it’s about. Does Fish glorify these people? No. Do we? HELL NO. We’re here to set the record straight on theese money grubby trashy trailer park skanks.
OK, I am properly chastised.
But please tell me that it’s OK for us to also be here to see the occasional camel toe, nipple slip and upskirt shots. Please tell me that’s OK.
Oooops, sorry JB; I left out the most important part. You hit the nail on the head but I just have to say it again….BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!
I love bolt-ons, and hers are just right looking. I could cum between them every day of my life. True love…
I have a hard time believing she blew the whole wad (ha ha!) on those falsies and had nothing left for a desperately-needed nosejob. Oh well, I guess we need people to work at our local brass-pole ballets.
She is delicious. Hottest of all the teen moms by far.
I want to be her baby’s daddy. She is looking good.
People with so-called perfect bods have totally rotten attitudes. I’d take a stab at her, with my deadly weapon, no matter what! God, she’s got an ASS I’d die for my country for by suufication between those luscious cheeks!
well, there is always the job “American Prostitute” for her………..
She is from my home town and I even worked with her once. Shes a grade A bitch.
I saw an episode with her looking for apartments in AZ. They way she talked to her mom made me want to slap and then spay her.
That 80′s hair cut is not helping her at all.
Why are you picking on Farrah? Zoe Kravitz is probably the only one in this group who does not have implants.
Id love to bust a nut on her.
Farrah should have gotten her beak worked on before her breasts.
All u people have problems so go get help haha haha
Too skinny!!
SHE IS HOT, ASS OR NO ASS, SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WOULD FUCK HER FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MUITO BELA LINDA BELO CORPO SEXY.
She is not sexy though! Personally, her face aint cute. She is real BASIC!
Watched her on the show, this girl is the biggest bitch ever. She treated her mom like a door mat she is a spoiled baby she should have taken any money she got and took personality and respect lessons. she needs to be forgotten about. she will end up all alone and on welfare. hope someone takes good care of her child.
..absolutely agree
In my opinion, she made very bad decisions also. I know, her mother is not the better mom in this world, but she’s very unrespectful with her parents (..call “Michael” to your father.. wtf!).
She’s also so whimsical!: first, the dog (diaper-dog), then, implants, then, live in florida… and she then regrets for everyrhing! “i dont want the puppy anymore”, “i dont have money” “i feel alone”…
I now is her life, but she need advice to make some decisions.
Soooo dident she LEAVE her child with her mother to move away to “work” or get a better job or something like that … so what her Moving away and leaving HER baby with her mom just a way to get her boobies done and recover without having a toddler to pick up and bang into them ect ?…. good job screw up , all she did on the show was WHINE … pooor me , my babies dad died .. yes thats sad , but she acted like it never happend to anyone ever before but her … then cryed and cryed and whined and cryed , and i rember she would always put her daughter on the bed or the couch and walk away to talk on the phone , or use the computer , HELLO … being young is no excuse for being stupid .. putting your kid on a couch and leaving them to fall off and getting hurt then moving away and leaving your kid with your mom .. WHO HIT YOU in the face .. and then get your boobs done??? she done screwed up !!!!pooooor little sophia
Lol look at her body man, why would people be worried about the size of her nose! You all just jelly. I’M JELLY!
Isnt she the one who refused to breast feed her child because she was worried it would ruin her boobs? Yeah, way to prioritize, choose vanity over your childs health then get breast implants anyways. What a dumbass bitch!
Hahahah Id like to see all these idiots in a bathing suit. You´re probable all ugly, and insecure the only thing you re good at is criticizing others.
Killer body !!
Great message. Get knocked up as a teenager and get a new sets of fake breasts. Just what we need more of……..
she needs to track down ashley simpson’s nose doc.
I hate this chicks face and bangs and bad attitude Id love to punch her in the face. But her body is nice so guess Id squirt one in her and get her pregnant again then take her to court cause obviously shes an unfit mother then make here pay child support now thats how you do it son.
Id be ashamed and look at the ground too if I was this chick
some of these comments are rude and stupid hating on her longs she likes the way she looks then so be it and if she wants time to relax no different than having grand parents watching the child because every mother or father needs quiet time to chill out nothing wrong with that my kids are older and i take them everywhere with me even when they was young……..just saying
and how and the hell can someone say she need to keep her legs close how about you do the same if it was YOU everyone was talking about think how YOU would feel
In reply to Rob: Of course all you need to do is be a slut and you’ll become famous- Kim Kardashian and family come to mind! Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t that really the message we are sending to our girls and women. Make a sex tape, say it was a mistake, accuse the guy of releasing it, threaten to sue them for publicity then drop the case, have a show by Ryan Seacrest’s production or MTV, and keeping making effed up mistakes purposely to get more attention. Its a vicious cycle for attention-whores, I mean look at Kris Kardashian. There really is no hope for her and she is just waiting for her daughters to become adults so she can pimp them out. This woman, Farrah from Teen Mom is probably the worst mom on the show. I’m not sure how much is reality, but even for a show you don’t leave your kid out in a hallway of your building and forget her there for a whole 2 minutes, it takes 30 seconds for kidnapping, you don’t walk away from your infant on a couch and let them fall, you don’t spend your hard earned dollars on breast implants because a ‘fake’ modelling agent said bigger boobs will get you shoots or work, you probably should invest that in your child’s future or something that truly benefits both of you. I mean, I can’t really judge for sure that she is a bad mom, but of all the moms on the show, she is the worst. It’s sad really, because this is Sophia’s role model.
I will never understand why they cut out the feet of the girls in most celebrity pictures.
u needed a nose job girl! or did u get boobs so no one will look at ur face now?
Pretty body. Gross face.
There’s the truth. Take it or leave it.
But more importantly…irrelevant.
They only want you when you’re 16…when you’re [insert any number higher than 16], you’re no fun! lol
Killer fucking body.
Jealous much???? Janine
Hey Lady call the Police , Somebody stole your butt
Why Do Implants run away from each other
Agreed, her lower torso I’d eat in a heartbeat. You’re right, though, her BARBARA STREISAND nose’s gotta go. Hook her up with MICHAEL JACKSON’S surgeon…
Wait,what? You are probably a virgin, or if not, pretty damn close. You wouldn’t forget it. You would probably obsess over it every waking second. Don’t lie. You only wish you could get a piece
Agree
Dude u have problems doesent matter wat she chooses as long as she is happy not u not any body and I bet u are no better rite
awesome, completely agree.
Yes, her daughter has a better life now knowing if they are ever in a plane crash she can use her mom’s tits as a flotation device.
Being a young mother yourself, you are obviously just as reckless and stupid.
this right here is why young women shouldnt have kids. you would spend 6000 dollars on your titties, on the reasoning that that isnt enough to pay for your kid’s education? and she worked her ass of to get them? really?…really? last i checked she got knocked up at sixteen than got famous for crying and making the ugly face every other episode she was on on that stupid show. sounds like she is a good decision maker though, what with the getting knocked up at sixteen, ignoring her daughter to try and go on dates with guys (i say try cause none of them seemed that interested in her), and spending the money she made on a set of really bad looking fakies. you two should get together, i am sure your kids will really benefit from that! =)
Blair, your post shows your immaturity. AND your lack of morals, respect and scruples. Also, Spell check is installed for a reason, USE IT. it is your friend….and won’t give you a STD or another child you will not be able to raise on your own. (and people wonder why food stamps is at an all time high….a rotten President isn’t 100% at fault here…it’s KIDS HAVING KIDS!)
THANK YOU … YOU MAKE THE BEST POINT IVE READ ALL DAMN NIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!! IM TIRED OF STUPIED PEOPLE INVADING OUR LIVES … PUSHED ON US VIA TV INTERNET ETC …. If your rich and famous you can beat your gf’s and wifes many times , tell people your crazy , say you do coke and get roasted on tv and eveyone laughts about you being a horrabal messed up person … (mr Sheen) you have sex for money … your not a hooker … your a PORN STAR … this world is MESSED UP …
LMFAO!!! I about died laughing reading that comment about the pickle!
i agree. – not exactly the best time to decide to save a little money!