‘Teen Mom’ Amber Portwood’s Baby a Ward of The State

November 24th, 2010 // 98 Comments

During an emergency child placement hearing Tuesday, Teen Mom Amber Portwood‘s daughter was legally declared a ward of the state following last week’s charges of two felonies and a misdemeanor. RadarOnline reports:

That means that as the Department of Child Services assesses Leah’s living situation the child technically becomes a ward of the state, even though she is currently staying with Shirley.
A ward of the state is an adult or child whose guardianship is determined by a judge who appoints a government agency to oversee the ward of the state’s affairs.
RadarOnline.com also learned that the Indiana Department of Child Services supervised Portwood’s visit with Leah at Gary’s house on Tuesday after court.

While the natural response here would be to point out that Christian Republicans demonize abortions yet at the same time bitch their tax dollars being spent on deadbeats who can’t raise their kids, we need to stay focused on the real loser here: Britney Spears. Think about it for a second, in the eyes of the government, she’s essentially regarded the same way as a toddler birthed by white trash idiots. If she had even a lick of self-awareness, she’d shoot herself in the neck. Fortunately, her only pressing and cohesive thought at the moment is “Furkey tomorrah?” and that’s under the assumption Britney’s cognizant of the passage of time. I’m probably getting ahead of myself.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Are these just modified turkey basters?

  2. RandaI

    This delightful young girl likely has Down’s Syndrome.


  3. FredSavage

    She looks HARD and COLD.

    • fester

      She’s practicing he “don’t fuck with me, I’m CRAZY” expression for when she gets to prison. It won’t work, the bull dykes in stir have already nicknamed her Amber McFisty.

      • Facebook me

        And saly, she doesn’t have any family that could step in for her? A child that is awarded to the state just screams, bounced from one foster home to another, sexually, metally and physically abused..just to end up producing more like them in this world…

        Fucked up.

      • castallare

        Favorite comment alert!

  4. So, the daughter of the Wizard of Oz’ Cowardly Lion has to give up her child. Just because she’s on an MTV trash reality show she gets publicity. Screw that, there are hundreds of such cases every month across the country. Girls who get pregnant and have to rely on the government or their parents for financial support.

    Keep teaching that good ol’Abstinence and turn a blind eye to reality Catholics and Republicans. It’s workin’ REAL WELL isn’t it????

    • Anon

      I’m not saying that abstinence should be the main method of birth control taught, but I doubt that Amber Portwood was/is ignorant to the idea of real birth control. I would be willing to bet you that she knew what a condom was, and what purpose it serves, before she got pregnant… I think she’s just stupid; don’t blame EVERYTHING on public education.

      • McFeely Smackup

        Considering that condoms have a real world failure rate (as sole form of birth control) upwards of 25 – 35%, all this “education” telling kids “be safe, use a condom” CAN directly be blamed for teenage pregnancy.

        There’s a definite conspiracy of ignorance to overstate the effectiveness of condoms, you’ll never hear any teen sex educator telling anyone the actual facts about how often condoms fail. In fact, there was a recent study that showed that when properly executed, the fucking PULLOUT METHOD was as effective as condoms.

        Condoms are backup birth control at best. they need to be teaching kids THAT. Unless you actually want a kid, you need to be double-stacking birth control like the burger you just bought your fat girlfriend for lunch.

      • s'up bitches

        The point of the matter is that rethugs like Palin (whose own daughter got knocked up) don’t want sex ed in schools, but whine when shit like this happens and they have to take care of the kid (via tax dollar) because Mommy is too uneducated to handle the job. How ’bout instead of investing in foreign wars, which the U.S. does NOT profit from, we invest it in educating our kids, then maybe tea baggers like Sarah can just STFU and ramble on about some other nonsense they have no idea how to resolve.

    • dumbass

      yeah, and you libtards can keep teaching kids that if they want a reality show, free food stamps, rent assistance, and an endless list of handouts, all they have to do is get knocked up. cuz everybody with a brain knows the best way to discourage teenagers from having babies is to give them money and their own tv shows for having babies. I mean really, why bother leaving people to pay for their own screwups? much better to keep the current system where nobody pays the costs of their own screwups, and then complain about why nobody seems to take responsibility for their own actions. I didn’t knock this fugly moron up, why should I be forced to pay the costs of taking care of her and her kid?

      • yourmom dottcom

        so right on!…all part of that Nintendo(Japanese for No Consequence btw) generation; no problems, no worries, no responsibilities!…just push “reset”! …news flash kids:reality does NOT come out of your fucking Ipod!

      • Burt

        “Considering that condoms have a real world failure rate (as sole form of birth control) upwards of 25 – 35%, all this “education” telling kids “be safe, use a condom” CAN directly be blamed for teenage pregnancy. ”

        Upwards of 25-35%? You’re so full of it. It’s about 10%, but the perfect use failure rate is 2%. Clearly, kids need to be taught how to use condoms properly.

      • Burt

        The incidence of teen pregnancies went up in states that have stopped educating kids about contraception and begun using abstinence as a basis for sexual education. Teenagers have sex, always have, always will. Besides, telling a teenager he or she can’t do something is the best way to make sure he or she does it.

  5. mcfeely smackup

    I don’t know why nobody has never noticed or commented on this before. but this chick is ugly like Mickey Rourke fucked Rosie O’Donnell.

    Imagine the poor bastard who fucked her and knocked her up. We’ve all done it. It’s late, you need to get it done…so you take the easy one…nobody will ever know. …and then she gets knocked up, and MTV gives her a TV show, and the whole damn world is laughing at you for fucking that pig.

  6. Daniel

    Bitch looks white trashy – she’ll pop out a couple more then get addicted to snoring pills – what to glorify it MTV..

  7. BuckKnuckles

    Seriously, who the fuck IS this? Why does MTV insist on funding the egos of the scuzziest weirdos in the US? MTV = Making Twats Viable

  8. ethermonk

    While the natural response here would be to point out that Atheist Progressive Democrats lionize abortions yet at the same time bitch that not enough of other peoples tax dollars are being spent on deadbeats who can’t raise their kids, we need to stay focused on the real loser here: Fish.

    • Whatever

      Well said.

      • “The article had nothing to do with Christianity but he just can’t resist. ”

        He did mention that his father was a minister or whatever. Everyone has mommy/daddy issues and we all deal with them in different ways.

    • ThisPlaceSucks!!

      The Fish can’t help but throw in a jab at Chritlsians. The article had nothing to do with Christianity but he just can’t resist. I haven’t checked out this site in weeks, but then made the mistake of checking it out one last time. Nothing has changed. So long libtards…

      • Ayn Rand

        Go back to licking your balls, you superstitious Republican fucktard (no offense intended).

      • s'up bitches

        If you are so fucking Christian, why don’t you raise the kid. Didn’t think so….go fuck yourself moralist shit bag. By the way, giving guys at the public restrooms blow jobs isn’t Christian either. Just thought you should know.

      • dumbass

        oh yeah, libtards – if you think it’s such a great idea that someone else’s money should pay the costs of raising this retard’s kids, why dontcha whip out your checkbook, and pay the costs yourself? oh yeah, you all think it’s a good idea for somebody else to pay for the idiot’s mistakes, as long as it’s not YOUR money. here’s a clue for you morons – once everyone who pays taxes figures out that if they don’t screw up, they’ll have to pay for everyone else’s screwups anyway, and if they do screw up, somebody else’s money will pay for their mistakes, then nobody has any incentive to avoid screwing up – and that takes us to where we are now, a country of lazy retards that whine and cry that the government should fix all our screwups and somebody else should pay for it.

      • Ayn Rand

        dumbass, your screen name is well chosen. Apparently in doing so you shot your intellectual wad, because the rest of your rant is cretinous Republitard cry-baby pants pissing. Still, I appreciate that you were able to tear yourself away from rimming Glenn Beck long enough to join us.

    • ethermonk

      I love how the commenter who calls themselves “Ayn Rand” resorts to name calling, sexual insults and innuendo immediately, but has the temerity to question the intellectual stature of others. It’s very telling of the true progressive strategy regarding debating facts: if you disagree with someone call them “stupid” and eschew debate.

      But you are very, very crafty “Ayn Rand”. While your bravado cleverly illustrates this strategy, I see through your MSNBC-esque diatribe. You are actually a very clever conservative doing a parody of the left! Very amusing stuff! Well done!

      • Ayn Rand

        Your extraordinarily ironic juxtaposition of the words “clever” and “conservative” gave me quite a good chuckle. Thank-you!

    • ethermonk

      I think you are just irritated that the original commenter of this thread actually made a good point, while you have made none.

      • Ayn Rand

        Not irritated, just amused. God bless all you conservative simpletons. Oh I forgot, there is no God. I suppose you’re all just completely fucked, then.

  9. Chunk

    She looks like the evildoer Ma Frattelli from the Goonies!

    Truffle Shuffle anyone?

  10. JChief

    I’m shocked no one made this connection.



    She needs to start doing that.

  11. Teen Mom Amber


  12. me

    If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times… This country could use a good nuclear event.

  13. Anon

    Loving the personal and political commentary. This blog is quickly becoming more egocentric and less about the more famous (but still questionable) people I was coming here to read about. Snore.

    • ethermonk

      I’m with you Anon. Can we please leave out the political commentary. Let’s just make fun of something we can all agree on… the ridiculous lives of celebutards and the celebutard-wannabes of the moment.

  14. piper

    I hate myself for saying this, but I really like her coat.

  15. nick

    Bitch looks like the old lady from the goonies

  16. Jim

    Sam K. is a good one, but how has no one mentioned that she looks exactly like a younger version of Anne Ramsey…Mrs. Fratelli from Goonies/”Momma” from Throw Momma From the Train

    • They have…I think that one is the best, most accurate comparison. Go to the link above your post. Sorry I keep referring to it but when I read it, coffee literally came out of my nose. Every time I read it again, it’s re-funny.

  17. Better than chaining her up under a restaurant. OH! OHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  18. I feel bad for the kid, got dealt a hard hand.
    That sucks.
    ..I mean the kid the kid had, just to clafiry.

  19. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    What is wrong with her face? Clearly she is a product of fetal alcohol syndrome.

  20. LJ

    The really sad thing in all of this is that the kid will probably grow up to be as screwed up as both her mom and dad.

  21. Racer X

    *Nelson from The Simpsons voice* Ha Ha!!

  22. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    If only we could put her head on Britney Spears body.
    That way they would both be decapitated.

  23. Dr.Drab

    She’s a pig, but her mom is a wicked lay!

  24. tone

    so i guess mindy cohn is still on television.

  25. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    She does a great slingblade impression “Mmmmmmmmmmm taters”

  26. oermens

    the most fashionable person with downs syndrome i’ve ever seen

  27. Jeff

    She looks like an evil Benny Hill

  28. Drew

    ahaha who the hell would fuck that?

  29. 539

    Or one of the 3 stooges.


  30. joey

    Why does she look so much like the Chuckie Doll form the child’s play movies?

  31. Papa Stryfe

    Dude…sometimes against better judgement i wish they’d keep stuff like this under wraps, seek out more white trash parents that shouldn’t procreate in the first place, trick them into a “Reality Show”, get their kids away from them and THEN make a show about it AFTERWARDS…..well….unfortunately you’d have less to write about until it’s too late…S&*T….Catch-22 strikes again….ah well Happy Turkey Day! Beautiful Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions for ALL!!!!!

  32. Stoner

    That’s only a face a mother could love. For real. *shudders*

  33. Oh Geez

    I’ll get you, and your little dog too!

  34. Gando

    Rats, skanks, hookers, whores and turds, they stay out. Let all hope go and blame yourself.

  35. Nuts on ur chin

    I am just amazed someone got drunk enough to knock that creature up :/

  36. Rhialto

    My status must be enough to tell you what’s all about. Again (breaths), I CAN ONLY FOLLOW ONE PERSON AT THE TIME! THAT MUST BE ENOUGH FOR YOU ALL TO KNOW!

  37. kit

    she looks like a demon.

  38. XYZ

    Look at her! Typical (American) retard! A real tragedy when every idiot reproduce. Those who suffer most: their offspring/s and the taxpayers.

  39. fuck requirements

    Who complains about paying taxes to keep kids out of the hands of abusive people? That’s a new one.

    I think most people would prefer that these morally hideous, semi-literate, inbred trolls not be able to “raise” their spawn.

  40. Rhialto

    I said before that i’m not really looking for a “daugther/father” relationship. Nothing has changed and i’d still stick with this statement. Good luck with your club and lots of fun!

  41. Rhialto

    Admitted that my motivation may have been lacking this time. Actually i was focussed on something else.

  42. Gando

    I’m afraid the beloved dad and bro are outta game as well.

    • Rhialto

      Yeah, that’s right. Like i said; have fun with your club.

      • Rhialto

        Whose idea was it anyway to bring these people in!?? Certainly not mine and we’d have a back door and roof hatch but what ever is going to happen the keys are in our possesion. Because we’re the inventers.

      • Rhialto

        It’s more easy for them to crawl through a needle’s eye. I can promise you that.

      • Gando

        Well. . . He’s the kind of guy who’s trying always to keep his word. . . Despite that i’m an optimistic person, i’ll say it’s impossible for these people. Good luck but expect to fail.

  43. boogeyman King Dong

    Where did all the other commenters go? In what dark room are they hiding?!

  44. Dr. Nero

    These comments are irrevelant to this post! You’re all fired!

  45. erin

    Christian Republicans believe that people should be responsible and not get knocked up when it can so easily be prevented because THAT WAY no babies have to die and tax-payers don’t have to pay for their million kids. SImple as that.

    • tiny-dicked pig-fucking conservative

      Yeah, that’s why so many of the anti-abortion pinheads also oppose contraception and sex-ed. Did I mention that you are a fucking moron? No offense.

  46. Isn’t politics supposed to be about what we agree on so we can move forward?

    Anyway, if amber were hot at least she could become a stripper or do porn. Sadly her only options include having more babies. Or losing weight. Maybe a nose job. That’s also an option. Just throwing that out there.

  47. Averre

    You know…I remember a time when MTV played music videos only to be broken up by shows like Liquid Television, Headbangers Ball (Riki Rachtman years) and Bevis and Butthead.

    Now we have programs about a insane redneck who can’t keep her legs closed and has questionable taste in men.

    Makes you miss the 1980/1990′s eh?

  48. Chris

    Why is the media giving these people attention? Enough already. This is rewarding bad behavior and will only cause more teens to think they’ll become famous if they have a baby.

  49. Emmett

    HOLY CRAP!!!

    it’s the mother from The Goonies.

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