And I’ve officially overloaded this day with too much sexy.
Here’s Teen Mom star Amber Portwood celebrating her 21st birthday with Gary Shirley at “Jimbo’s Bar” in Indiana because if there’s one thing this show was missing, it’s fetal alcohol syndrome. I’m actually not joking, this is probably just the angle MTV was looking for. “Alright, folks, Teen Mom was almost entirely repugnant, but we owe it to ourselves to push it to that next step. Which is why I present to you, Onesies and 40s. Bob, lights. *clicks on video reel* I’ll be in the back repeatedly whispering “cha-ching” if anyone needs- Haha! That baby crawled into the stove ’cause his mom loves gin.”
Photo: INFdaily
I … I’m so disgusted. I got nothin’.
You people, however, are in rare form today! Hilarious!
First, they came out with The Real World, Seasons 1-37. We thought, “Huh, a lot of these people are fame-whoring assholes. But it could be worse.”
Then they came out with The Hills. We thought, “Huh, these people are vapid, shallow, fame-whoring assholes. But it could be worse.”
We were so wrong.
Next up in the series: Teen Mom: Felon, and Teen Mom: Serial Killer.
I thought pigs only lived to 15 yrs., tops. Miracle of science!
Pigs also have dicks shaped like a corkscrew. Not that I would know first hand. That’s just what I’ve heard of course.
FUCKING. EW.
This photo will be the reason why their kid commits suicide when they’re in junior high.
I used to think Amber was a terrible role model for young people, but now I see that this photo will reduce teen pregnancy by a significant amount. Nobody could look at this and then want to have sex.
Anyone else reminded of the movie “Superbad”?
that is fucking distgusting, shes 21 and has the ass of a 40 year old woman! lol gorss, poor kid.
It’s a dual party…Amber turned 21, and it’s been 15 years since Gary has seen his penis.
Gary is clearly very excited at the prospect of getting laid again. Twice in one decade will be a new record for him.
Hope there’s enough money to drill a hole in his head and release the pressure of the fluid buildup. That boy’s head is gonna pop like a zit.
I can’t tell where her ass ends and his gut begins. Horf! But I do want a cottage cheese single with grape jelly now. Delish!
I know, Gary… that’s how I feel when I look at this picture, too.
Haha… his shirt is shooting her.
This picture does more for the “Responsible Drinking” movement than any million dollar PSA.
She’ll be a grandma by the time she’s 35.
Shhhhit those pics look akward.
MY EYES!!
Hey look – its Warren’s twin brother from ‘There’s Something About Mary.’
Manatee’s are fucking hot! Especially Lincoln bearded manatee’s. Way-Fucking-Hot.
I wonder if they get hard on’s when chicks on their period swim with them like Dolphins do….
What a puke show.
I’m… gonna be sick.
that’s a sexy ass beautiful peekaboo–would love if there were as many here as there were of michelle rodriguez earlier.
for all the probs they’ve had along the way they look fine together. hope they’re investing their mtv money on the CHILD!
I guess there’s a fetish for everything…including cottage cheese ass peekaboo.
Anyone with the theory, that Amber will always secure her place as a goddess by being with Gary is highly inaccurate..
The Hamburglar and Grimace celebrate the decline of western civilization.
LMAO
I wish we could put all the white trash Teen Moms and their men and the whole Jersey Shore cast and the Kardashian family on a plane and fly it straight down into the Grand Canyon in hopes that it would go all the way straight to hell where they all belong. Let Ryan Seacrest fly the plane….
Moons over my hammy
Thanks alot!! These 2 make me want to vomit. I can smell them from here.
Not okay.
Seriously, I would blow my eff’in head off if I looked like this guy!
With what – a cannon??
Ewwwwwhooohooohooooyuck
GAH!!!! awful.. the comments on here make me laugh. I swear
I didn’t know one of the male commenters had hooked up with a teen mom.
hahahaaaa
LMFAO OH GOD!!! The comments on this page are literally making me laugh my ass off, I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.
Hahahaha . . . hey, wait a minute!
That whole situation looks like it smells like hot garbage and piss. They are absolutely disgusting. Cover up.
She’s got a bad case of hungry toes!
Gary Shirley reminds me of Rusty Cuyler in that first photo….
lowls
I hope she doesn’t climb any higher cause he would literally eat her vagina.
damn i’d love to taste her snatch!!!
I guess dogs WILL do anything for bacon
“Waitress! I’ll have a flabby ass on beer gut. Hold the class!”
Looks like somebody was enjoying a meatball sandwich the DJ decided to play “Who Let the Dogs Out?”
WHEN the DJ decided. Godamnit I give up.
This my friends, is how babby is formed…
After seeing this does anyone still oppose forced steralization? Anyone? Didn’t think so.
The dance craze that’s sweeping the nation: the domestic violence waddle.
She’s sayin’, “You two bitches stay away from my hunk of a man”. lol
What’s a 21st birthday with out an upskirt? Yay! Okay, I’m going to go stick a hot poker in my eyes now. Thank you Superficial and MTV for making trailer trash rich and famous.
Fucken lost it when I noticed Jabba the Shirley in the picture
To the windoooooow
To the Buffet
Til the sweat drop down my pits
Damn this girl is heavy
Aw skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet
SO EVEN FAT MORONS CAN F*CK HER NOW!!!!!