‘Teen Mom’ Amber Turned 21

May 16th, 2011 // 84 Comments

And I’ve officially overloaded this day with too much sexy.

Here’s Teen Mom star Amber Portwood celebrating her 21st birthday with Gary Shirley at “Jimbo’s Bar” in Indiana because if there’s one thing this show was missing, it’s fetal alcohol syndrome. I’m actually not joking, this is probably just the angle MTV was looking for. “Alright, folks, Teen Mom was almost entirely repugnant, but we owe it to ourselves to push it to that next step. Which is why I present to you, Onesies and 40s. Bob, lights. *clicks on video reel* I’ll be in the back repeatedly whispering “cha-ching” if anyone needs- Haha! That baby crawled into the stove ’cause his mom loves gin.”

Photo: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Satan's bitch

    I … I’m so disgusted. I got nothin’.

    You people, however, are in rare form today! Hilarious!

  2. JC

    First, they came out with The Real World, Seasons 1-37. We thought, “Huh, a lot of these people are fame-whoring assholes. But it could be worse.”

    Then they came out with The Hills. We thought, “Huh, these people are vapid, shallow, fame-whoring assholes. But it could be worse.”

    We were so wrong.

    Next up in the series: Teen Mom: Felon, and Teen Mom: Serial Killer.

  3. S'up Bitches

    I thought pigs only lived to 15 yrs., tops. Miracle of science!

    • KNOBGOBBLER3

      Pigs also have dicks shaped like a corkscrew. Not that I would know first hand. That’s just what I’ve heard of course.

  4. Mandi

    FUCKING. EW.

  5. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    HC66
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo will be the reason why their kid commits suicide when they’re in junior high.

  6. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to think Amber was a terrible role model for young people, but now I see that this photo will reduce teen pregnancy by a significant amount. Nobody could look at this and then want to have sex.

  7. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else reminded of the movie “Superbad”?

  8. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    JOSH
    Commented on this photo:

    that is fucking distgusting, shes 21 and has the ass of a 40 year old woman! lol gorss, poor kid.

  9. It’s a dual party…Amber turned 21, and it’s been 15 years since Gary has seen his penis.

  10. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    Gary is clearly very excited at the prospect of getting laid again. Twice in one decade will be a new record for him.

  11. DogBoy

    Hope there’s enough money to drill a hole in his head and release the pressure of the fluid buildup. That boy’s head is gonna pop like a zit.

  12. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    maya rud
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t tell where her ass ends and his gut begins. Horf! But I do want a cottage cheese single with grape jelly now. Delish!

  13. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    I know, Gary… that’s how I feel when I look at this picture, too.

  14. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha… his shirt is shooting her.

  15. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    TurboZinger
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture does more for the “Responsible Drinking” movement than any million dollar PSA.

  16. Lindsay

    She’ll be a grandma by the time she’s 35.

  17. billabong021

    Shhhhit those pics look akward.

  18. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Jess
    Commented on this photo:

    MY EYES!!

  19. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey look – its Warren’s twin brother from ‘There’s Something About Mary.’

  20. Fantastico!

    Manatee’s are fucking hot! Especially Lincoln bearded manatee’s. Way-Fucking-Hot.

    I wonder if they get hard on’s when chicks on their period swim with them like Dolphins do….

  21. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Alice is Chained
    Commented on this photo:

    What a puke show.

  22. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m… gonna be sick.

  23. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s a sexy ass beautiful peekaboo–would love if there were as many here as there were of michelle rodriguez earlier.

    for all the probs they’ve had along the way they look fine together. hope they’re investing their mtv money on the CHILD!

  24. Rough subliminal

    Anyone with the theory, that Amber will always secure her place as a goddess by being with Gary is highly inaccurate..

  25. The Hamburglar and Grimace celebrate the decline of western civilization.

  26. Venom

    I wish we could put all the white trash Teen Moms and their men and the whole Jersey Shore cast and the Kardashian family on a plane and fly it straight down into the Grand Canyon in hopes that it would go all the way straight to hell where they all belong. Let Ryan Seacrest fly the plane….

  27. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Denny's
    Commented on this photo:

    Moons over my hammy

  28. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Thanks alot!! These 2 make me want to vomit. I can smell them from here.

  29. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Not okay.

  30. Donald Trump

    Seriously, I would blow my eff’in head off if I looked like this guy!

  31. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    blonde
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwwwhooohooohooooyuck

  32. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    GAH!!!! awful.. the comments on here make me laugh. I swear

  33. karen

    I didn’t know one of the male commenters had hooked up with a teen mom.

  34. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    ThighHighs
    Commented on this photo:

    That whole situation looks like it smells like hot garbage and piss. They are absolutely disgusting. Cover up.

  35. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    MrsPBateman
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a bad case of hungry toes!

  36. fried ricer

    Gary Shirley reminds me of Rusty Cuyler in that first photo….

  37. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    adolf hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    lowls

  38. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Cam
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she doesn’t climb any higher cause he would literally eat her vagina.

  39. little turtle head

    damn i’d love to taste her snatch!!!

  40. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    S'up Bitches!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Waitress! I’ll have a flabby ass on beer gut. Hold the class!”

  41. Looks like somebody was enjoying a meatball sandwich the DJ decided to play “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

  42. WHEN the DJ decided. Godamnit I give up.

  43. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    TM
    Commented on this photo:

    This my friends, is how babby is formed…

  44. Aggie

    After seeing this does anyone still oppose forced steralization? Anyone? Didn’t think so.

  45. The dance craze that’s sweeping the nation: the domestic violence waddle.

  46. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s sayin’, “You two bitches stay away from my hunk of a man”. lol

  47. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    FamousPlastic.com
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s a 21st birthday with out an upskirt? Yay! Okay, I’m going to go stick a hot poker in my eyes now. Thank you Superficial and MTV for making trailer trash rich and famous.

  48. Jovy

    Fucken lost it when I noticed Jabba the Shirley in the picture

  49. Teen Mom Amber Portwood 21st Birthday
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    To the windoooooow
    To the Buffet
    Til the sweat drop down my pits
    Damn this girl is heavy
    Aw skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet

  50. the captain

    SO EVEN FAT MORONS CAN F*CK HER NOW!!!!!

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