‘Teen Mom’ Amber Portwood Arrested

December 28th, 2010 // 58 Comments

If you get a makeover just for your mugshot, you might be a redneck.

Teen Mom star Amber Portwood was arrested on Monday for beating Gary Shirley in front of their toddler daughter while MTV filmed the entire incident and/or possibly orchestrated it. People reports:

“Domestic battery has an automatic 24 hold,” an officer at the Madison County jail in Anderson, Ind., where Portwood is being held told PEOPLE. “Even if someone pays your bond, you still have to wait 24 hours to be released.”
Earlier on Monday, Portwood was charged by the Madison County prosecutor with three felonies, including two counts of domestic battery and one count of neglect of a dependent. She was also charged with one misdemeanor charge of domestic battery. She was booked at 4:21 p.m. and bail was set at $5,000.

I’ve pretty much said everything that needed to be said about this situation – ABORTION – so I took the liberty of adding photos of Amber at age 15 that not only reinforces my thesis but shocks and boggles the mind because you don’t see how they could possibly end in a mugshot. Random meth lab explosion, sure. But mugshot? I don’t think so. These kids are trained to chew through policemen’s arms. That’s the first rule of Meth Club.

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News


  1. Que

    Que estrashe.

  2. thepinktaco

    “If you get a makeover just for your mugshot, you might be a redneck.”

    I like it.

    • Amy

      Or Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton = redneck = white trash. Britney Spears = redneck = white trash. Britney Spears = Paris Hilton?!? It all makes sense now.

  3. jojo

    It is more believable that Elton had a baby.

  4. Cock Dr

    Please donate generously. Think of all the dummies like Amber.

  5. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it’s safe to say Amber Portwood has owned a ICP album.

  6. Mdiz

    Let me get this right….. She beat up a dude? Man card…Revoked…. Permanently.

    Anyone else marvel at the distance between her eyes? I guess her mother is her sister…

    • Anita Bidet

      That happened when she was a baby, her daddy’s pick-em-truck didn’t have no ‘mergency brake and he used her head as a tire wedge. Even after he got him a new used truck that had a ‘mergency brake he kept usin’ Amber as a tire wedge ’cause by that time her head fit so well.

  7. DOucHe BaGELs

    That poor baby has to deal with a mom that looks like a old catchers mit and a dad that takes up two seats on the bus. Horrible

  8. Pangulin

    The sickest part of Fish’s commentary on this story is the idea that MTV might actually have orchestrated the assault for the purpose of “reality” show content.
    If true,this just points up the need for castaration/sterilization of all prospective parents of future MTV management, producers,talent and anyone associated with developing programs like “Teen Moms” or scripting the content thereof.
    Having said the above, this claim is highly debatable because it is the one that Amber used to defend her on camera antics to begin with. Since she has been proven to be less than credible in the her past statements, one could assume that is also the case with this claim.
    Still,I highly support Fish’s original take on this whole sordid affair….abortion and in this case “post-natal” abortion of the mother seem a reasonable solution.

    • lil' kev

      How is abortion such a great solution? Babies are innocent. Who knows, it could end up being adopted by Sir Elton, or someone else with means. It happens.

      • Pangulin

        Not her kid….her! You obviously missed the earlier posts regarding this human garbage pail in which Fish suggested that post-birth abortion was the solution.

  9. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Mislabeled. This is clearly one of the Wayans brothers in “White Girls”.

  10. jumpin_j

    Damn it, Phish, you know the first rule of Meth Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT METH CLUB! JEEEZ!

  11. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, these “Grudge” movies are getting out of control.

  12. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is where the bully from 3 O’Clock High ended up.

  13. GravyLeg

    She grew up surrounded by wood paneling and stained glass? They should have known this was gonna happen when they knocked the wheels off their house.

  14. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the offspring of Jack Black and Marilyn Manson

  15. She was smacking him around long before MTV showed up. She’s not sending him to the ER with bruises & broken bones but she’s still hitting him. Some people are just like that & the cameras were there to film it. The only thing I think MTV helped do was make him realize he could press charges.

  16. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    My God, so William Murderface has a daughter?

  17. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the girl from the ring…. what a scary betch

  18. eee

    Lmao @ meth club.

  19. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, is she slow? She looks slow.

  20. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Who tries to take pictures like this while wearing a Christmas sweater?

  21. noooooooooo

    Was hoping the 3 early days pictures would be a series of her head rotating, unfortunately she’s just standard issue dumbass teen. :(

  22. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:


  23. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    mr. monkeybottoms
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord, it’s The Grudge

  24. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    OH GOD it’s crawling out of the TV!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!

  25. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how she always has this calm, collected, “FUCK YOU” look on her face in every photo. Almost a sense of white trash entitlement..

  26. BigDaddy

    Yes MTV put her up to the fight. What has this world come to? This guy Gary is a big pussy. The guy deserves to get his ass beat. Give me a break,it was infront of the kid. Not even a year old. MTV should be getting them help, instead their using this to promote future shows.

  27. puddleduck

    Her next gig is probably Celebrity Rehab….. anyone want to place bets?

  28. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:


  29. The makeover was a smart disguise, considering she barely resembles that picture in real life.

  30. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    First rule of Meth Club: Don’t talk about Meth Club

  31. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s playing too much WoW

  32. Christmas is over, people
  33. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    this girl could look way less silly, if she did not pluck her brows so much – the gap is way too big for her proportions. or is this some kind of a trademark thing?

  34. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t we do all of this already?
    why is it some fat bitch beating the shit out of her fat useless husband isn’t important until it happens on MTV? What about isle 3 of EVERY wallmart in America.

  35. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    AC/DC’s singer Brian Johnson has really let himself go lately.

  36. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    barfsenio hall
    Commented on this photo:

    its really too bad how people treat their pet monkeys

  37. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    barfsenio hall
    Commented on this photo:

    world of whorecraft?

  38. Sheeeit. I hope MTV isn’t paying her by the pound. Her face looks like it got hit with a snowplow.

  39. Holly

    I grew up in Anderson, went to high school with this girl. She is trash, as is most of the entire city. Leaving that town was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    • KMA

      Seriously? You went to school with her? Do me a favor when you visit home: slap the ever-loving piss out of her…please!

  40. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Things like this make me glad the Addams Family and the Munsters were in black and white.

  41. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    she is so pretty

    seriously, who can look that good in a mug shot?

  42. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Did the ring come to life!?
    Commented on this photo:

    Destroy the tape!

  43. wim

    pssssst: SHE MIGHT BE A KILLER!!

  44. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says classy like self shots on a flip and f***

  45. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    what a cute girl

  46. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    Told you The Excorcist was a true story.

  47. Teen Mom Amber Portwood
    Commented on this photo:

    sitting on a futon with some wigger’s flat-brimmed hat with wood paneling on the walls….. This photo is would be a goldmine for a white trash scavenger hunt.

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