‘Teen Mom’ Amber Has Nude Photos Now

February 24th, 2011 // 92 Comments

Because God has truly forsaken us, Teen Mom star Amber Portwood sold nude photos of herself which sounds highly unusual for someone who puts on make-up first thing in the morning and smiles directly at the paparazzi for exclusive photos. Trust me, I know. RadarOnline reports:

The controversial Teen Mom star posed for the photos a few weeks ago while a friend took pictures.
“Amber fancies herself an old-fashioned pin-up girl,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com exclusively. “She posed the way she thought a pin-up would.”
Wanting to leave something for the imagination, the 20-year-old strategically posed at angles that didn’t expose her most private parts.
According to the source, Portwood was at a friend’s home when the mood struck her to drop her clothes.
“She just wanted to pose!” the source said.

Riiight. I’m sure these photos were all about the freedom of expression and have absolutely nothing to do with the rising cost of meth and/or finding a real job. Because what kind of a society would we live in where a woman who’s only famous for getting knocked up in high school could just sell naked pictures of herself to the highest bidder? We’d all be doomed if that were the case. Doomed right in the anus, which is why I’ll be outside waiting to see if it’s raining blood yet. Should be any minute now.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Oh no no no no no no no.

    Please. No.

    NO.

    • Hugh Gentry

      a story about naked photos without the naked photos is a complete fucking waste of time. I don’t care how ugly the pig is. Let’s see ‘em.

    • J

      NOT REAL!!!!! IT`S A FAKE!!!! Her tattoo is on her left side!!! Not her right!!! PHOTOSHOP!!! -google it!-

    • Ze German

      Oh yes yes yes yes!

      Imagine those cankles resting on your shoulders as you plumb her amply moist secrets!

      • Imagine what lies just beneath the surface of her clothes. The National Geographic Network Presents: “A Planet Unto Herself” James Cameron takes us on an epic journey that will both frighten and nauseate as he takes panoramic views of Amber Portwoods portly frame….

      • Tex

        @ ze german
        I want to lick her stubbly in grown hairs after she craps and runs the mile.

  2. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    I never ever want to see those photos.

  3. Post them as soon as you get them. kthnkbai

  4. noooooooo

    What on earth… pin-up girl. I guess meth stays in your system for a while or she’s on something new. If she really believes that I fear for anyone she encounters because she’s entirely delusional at this point.

  5. Teen Mom Amber Nude Photos
    ACuriousFellow
    Commented on this photo:

    Can someone please explain to me why the pig mutant from Ninja Turtles would ever take of its clothes?

    • J.

      What, you imagined it got pregnant, convinced a producer to give her a show, AND maintained relevancy for weeks after the show ended all without taking its clothes off?

  6. Well that’s just great. Now I need to find some way to clean vomit off a wireless keyboard.

  7. poopdick

    I thought meth was supposed to make you skinny. I can actually hear this whale getting fatter through the computer.

  8. hope she has some good booty shots :D

  9. jenyjenjen

    She is more attractive than duck lips Cyrus..

  10. Any Guy

    “RAINING BLOOD, from a lacerated sky….”

    c’mon Slayer fans. I know you’re out there.

    oh, and PS – fuck this ugly skank. who the HELL would want to see this bitch naked? PUKE.

    now, MORE stories involving a REAL woman, BROOKLYN DECKER. thank you.

  11. I got herpes in my eye just thinking about seeing them.

  12. Turd Ferguson

    Geez what a redneck PIG.
    I dont even know who this trashy skank is but she is a hag.

    • ah but she’s a NAKED trashy skank, which kinda makes up for some of the bullshit. something miley, britney, megan, and all those other barely hot, cock teases could learn from. hell i’d check gag gag and ke$hit if they leaked nudes. pussy’s pussy once the lites go out

  13. RandaI

    Guess registering http://www.downsyndromenudies.com wasn’t such a bad idea. What now bitches?

  14. Trvth

    i want to do that hog faced skank sooooo bad haha

    • punchin' the munchkin

      Any time you fuck Amber there’s a 50/50 chance your dick will run head-on into a baby going in the opposite direction.

  15. Cock Dr

    Surely these photos, if they exist, should be turned over to the Pentagon for weapons research. It’s simply too dangerous to allow them to be freely circulating.

  16. ludichrisspeed

    I want to hate her, but she reminds me of Jerry O’Connell in Stand By Me and it makes me want to squeeze her cheeks. Also it reminded me that I left a dead body in the woods I forgot to bury. Gotta get on that.

  17. Bucky Barnes

    This young woman is certainly making her (stretch) mark.

  18. jay

    I rather see Sam Kinison naked.

  19. Puke

    That tat of her kid is a mood killer!!! Who could really get off with that smiling baby staring at you?

    • youcandieNOW

      I’m sure she’s fucked a few guys with the kid actually in the bed right next to her and it wasn’t an issue.

  20. krutboo

    I have to be honest, I want to see these photos. My creepy side demands its blood sacrifice!

  21. baba wawa's hoohah

    Mood killer? Why that fuels the fires of vengance even more! I might even chew it off…

  22. Bucky Barnes

    How the fuck did the genes of Amber and Jabba with a douche-beard combine to make a cute kid? Their offspring should look like this.
    http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs49/f/2009/171/e/5/Helga_Fugly_by_gordon1.png

    • homosapiens

      Yeah, that little girl is a miracle of genetic recombination. It’s too bad she’ll grow up in such a screwed up home…imagine how many 40-something, overeducated couples would line up to adopt her.

  23. Yup, wearing jammies in the daytime or in public: a sure sign of trashiness…

    I’m just waiting for her to name her next kid Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho…or Frito Pendejo…

  24. With that face that looks like a Monchhichi, I can only imagine what is under those clothes. *shudder

  25. Rancid

    Just photoshop the head of Babe Ruth on the body of a fat, naked broad and call it a day.

  26. Naked pictures of Amber, they FINALLY found a sure fire way to deter teenage boys from having sex!

  27. Charlotte Corday

    Will her eyes be photoshopped closer together? She’s got a face like a baby fish.

  28. Mrs. Nick Jonas

    Aw, look at that precious face :(. I feel so sorry for Leah. It’s pathetic that Amber won’t get her mess together in order to properly raise her daughter. I pray that someone intervenes on little Leah’s behalf. Mothers like Amber make me sick to my stomach.

  29. stink-pants

    She is a chubby Bjork.

  30. youcandieNOW

    There are parts of her that are still private? What? And we don’t need to see the photos on this site.

  31. Randi

    Hoggy hog hog. Piggy pig pig. Oink oink oink!

  32. reformed_druid

    Someone BOUGHT the photos……….. Really?

  33. Marley

    She literally looks like a human Miss Piggy.

  34. JoshF

    Uggh. My penis just puked a little!
    Not cum, actual puke.
    I’m amazed… and scared.

  35. JC

    Oh, she’s a pin-up girl, all right. If by “pin-up” you mean those posters they put up in doctor’s offices to show what will happen to your kid if you drink while you’re pregnant.

  36. slappy magoo

    If I ever get to produce my XXX parody of The Facts Of Life (if the Good Lord willing and the cric don’ rise), I’ve got my Natalie.

  37. What is she doing with Gary Busy’s son?

  38. So Amber is making people go on a diet: by posing nude so everyone will loose their lunch.

  39. Teen Mom Amber Nude Photos
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Thinks I would rather see than Amber Portwood naked: a baby seal being bludgeoned to death; my grandmother in an interracial three-way; Khloe Kardashian naked. I could go on all day.

  40. Myers

    I just saw the pics and all I can say is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Unimate

    She has a surprisingly sweet ass, actually.

  42. What a dumbass

    This is all about reality tv, which is the scummiest programming on earth. The producers encourage the “stars” to act out in ways they’d never normally do, in order to feed their fame addiction. They’re encouraged to curse, they fight, they drink, they take drugs, they fuck around on their significant others, they generally act like braindead assholes. And, it’s all filmed, so the producers can make millions off of it. Given that the “stars” are fame addicted & used to acting like assholes on the set, it’s little surprise that they act like assholes in real life. This bitch is a perfect example of why reality tv needs to disappear…

  43. Lucifer

    When did Bam Margera dye his hair red and have a baby girl?

  44. Teen Mom Amber Nude Photos
    Commented on this photo:

    This month is proof the the apocalypse is upon us. The month begins with “Wookie-Stank” perfume and end the month with a naked troll. I dont know what has suffered more sense of smell or sight.

  45. Jenthebod

    She looks like the fat, white trash Bjork.

  46. bitingontinfoil

    P-p-p-p-etunia P-p-p-p-ig!

  47. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    That baby is just adorable though. Real cutie.

  48. Teen Mom Amber Nude Photos
    Scarlett
    Commented on this photo:

    This has to be the best picture of her I’ve ever seen. She almost looks doable. Almost.

  49. Clem

    She wouldn’t even make ‘Best of Breed’.

  50. Elliot

    I saw them, and the only thing my eyes go to is that stupid tattoo she got covering he side stomach area of her kid’s face. It feels wrong on so many levels to be looking at a child’s face with pussy and tits right there. Plus, her titties look incredibly far apart and awkward. I will admit her ass looks pretty good, though.

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