Tea Leoni in a bikini with David Duchovny

June 22nd, 2009 // 48 Comments

Proving he can go five minutes without masturbating, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids to the beach in Malibu yesterday. Is anyone else freaked out by Tea’s physique? It almost seems to fluctuate from feminine to She-Hulk at whim. Sort of like God slapped breasts on a man’s body and figured “Eh, fuck it. Some sex addict’ll take her in.” Which is a lot more romantic than how my parents met. Not to discriminate against mail order brides or anything. Welcome to America! You make sandwich good. Yes, yes.

Photos: Fame, Flynet

  1. Taz

    I would pump her silly!

  2. squeeb

    Who’s Tara?

  3. shellibelli

    she looks good! if she was 350 pounds you would complain anyway.

  4. Tara? I see it’s gimp day at the Fish…

  5. would totally hit it with tea leoni

  6. stump

    Tea Bagger

  7. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    She looks great.

  8. Ella

    Wow, David looks dead sexy in that photo!

  9. chango666

    Looking at her facial expression as she is attempting to walk, it appeare that Duchovny is hitting that shit HARD. She looks a lot happier in the water where she can cool that box down. He need to get off her for a day or so and let that cooter rest. Come on David, give her a break and take the matter “in hand” for a few days . . . sheeeeeesh . . .

  10. Ren

    David Duchovny topless and wet.., mmmmm. Who gives a rats ass about Tea Leoni? More pictures of David please!!!!

  11. Fapper_Man

    I came on my keyboard to these pics. God my balls are tingly. Tea rules biotches!!!

  12. e-rock

    Wow, they both look a lot hotter than I would have guessed!! I read the title of the post, and was anticipating some flabby cellulite, and Im pleasanty suprised to say they look HOT!! And good for them for trying to make things work. Its got to be hard in Hollywood to stay faithful and committed, but at least they are TRYING. BRAVO!!

  13. What’s wrong with her body?? She’s healthy and has muscle. OH NO!

  14. Moto Rola

    I would love for her to Tea bag me.

  15. TeaLover

    Always have loved Tea Leoni. Wish she would do a full frontal pictorial sometime…

  16. RtSS

    I’ve always gotten wood for Tea, but these images are not doing it for me. The one with her bangs showed some promise… It made me think of bangin’ her. She is definitely doable, but you can’t see her gorgeous blue eyes. Sweet blonde, with blue eyes. Now that’s the ticket. I would still like to explore all her openings.

  17. datroof

    The light is really bad in the photos when they’re in the water. Harsh, contrasty, overhead light.

    I’d go balls deep on her. She’s looking very milf-y.

  18. D.D

    She’s 43 – holding up pretty well overall

  19. D.D

    She’s 43 – holding up pretty well overall

  20. Bo Tocks

    Tea’s always been too skinny and has no hips. She’s cute and her “one of the guys” personality kind of makes up for things. She that type girl you would have fun having a beer with and you’d be thinking you could casually slide her into bed- and she would go! They are both crossing that line from youthful to middle-aged, that sux. David’s gone puffy, he could do better with some focused working out.

  21. isitin

    #10 Ren, are you a frivolous faggggggggggg.

  22. #21. Please go on. I love reading the opinions of people who are the all-knowing.

  23. Bo Tocks

    @ 23: Isn’t that what this site is all about, the common commenting on the lifted up pricks? Don’t go all stuffy on me…

  24. mikeock01

    she makes my cock sing

  25. iambananas

    What’s wrong with her body? I really like it! IT’s pretty and toned.

  26. iambananas

    What’s wrong with her body? I really like it! IT’s pretty and toned.

  27. iambananas

    What’s wrong with her body? I really like it! IT’s pretty and toned.

  28. not bad. the assman would hit it. after a drink or 10.

  29. dan

    STFU superfish! she looks great unlike you who i imagine looks like michael jackons dick cheese.

  30. vito

    Hey, #25…

    Be careful you don’t get the song all over the front of your pants!

  31. Ljutefisk


  32. Sorry… are we complaining about a woman looking feminine?

  33. the bikini is maybe funny
    BUT WHO, the hell, IS THIS F*GGOT, folks?

  34. Dread not

    “Drink plenty of liquids, Tea, my sweet. Yes. Yes. Plenty of liquids. It’s hot out here and you need to stay hydrated. What’s that? You have to pee, now? How unexpected.”

    *shifty eyes*

    “But the restrooms are all the way down the beach, Tea. Why not just wade waist deep into the water and pee? I’ll go in, make sure nobody comes near you.” Whispers to himself, “except me.”

    *Dn slips into the water, wicked smile on his face*

    “Okay, Tea, coast is clear!”

    *Dn slips beneath the surface, shutters as Tea’s warmth slowly envelops him*

  35. #35 – Yeeesh . . . .

    She’s a babe at any age.

  36. jack

    Would hit that piece of MILF ass so hard I’d get arrested.

  37. Mohammed

    I think Tea Leoni is maybe a pre-op transexual. You can see a penis bulge in it’s bikini bottoms.

  38. Parker

    This is so weird but I have no desire at all to buttfuck her. Normally any time I see a chick in a bikini all I’m picturing is her bent over holding her knees while I’m pounding her pooper but here all I’m seeing is a chick with a bony ass.

  39. She looks great, actually. Love her bikini.

  40. yo

    She’s got the ass of a 10-year-old boy. Awesome.

  41. Rhialto

    They look great both,even that David Duchovny is far in his forties.A little regular work out can have big results.And i’m even not talking about his daughter and son.

  42. Galtacticus

    About 30 years ago people were getting considered ‘old’ somewhere in their 50′s.Times have changed people are getting older,smarter and healthier.It’s all in your head.



  44. CarolAnne

    “Ass of a ten year old boy?” She doesn’t HAVE any ass. Or boobs. Those pictures are weird. In one she’s sticking her non-existent ass out. In another one she looks like she’s sucking in her gut. And let’s not forget her gaunt witch’s face. As for Duchovny, I never found him attractive in the first place. He strikingly resembles Alice the Goon.

  45. v tard


    Thanks, I had a good laugh at that.

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  47. Its great to see them together again as a couple. And to the person that said it looks like a “set up” I don’t believe that at all. So, you mean every picture you see of them as a family or a couple is a set up? That’s just plain nuts in MHO.

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