Tea Leoni in a bikini with David Duchovny

Proving he can go five minutes without masturbating, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids to the beach in Malibu yesterday. Is anyone else freaked out by Tea’s physique? It almost seems to fluctuate from feminine to She-Hulk at whim. Sort of like God slapped breasts on a man’s body and figured “Eh, fuck it. Some sex addict’ll take her in.” Which is a lot more romantic than how my parents met. Not to discriminate against mail order brides or anything. Welcome to America! You make sandwich good. Yes, yes.

Photos: Fame, Flynet