Tea Leoni & Billy Bob Thornton? WTF?

October 16th, 2008 // 36 Comments

Get this: Turns out David Duchnovny’s “sex addiction” (Read: He has a penis.) was not the cause of his separation from Tea Leoni, but instead she was having an affair with Billy Bob Fucking Thornton. How does this guy keep getting chicks? Anyway, Mulder supposedly found text messages between Tea and Billy Bob causing things to go South, according to the Daily Mail:

Through the texts Duchovny found out she had begun a relationship with Oscar-winning actor Billy Bob Thornton, 53, who was formerly married to Angelina Jolie.
Thornton, a musician with his own band, has been seen with Téa at his gigs.
‘She even helps him load and unload his truck,’ says a friend of the couple.

She hauls his instruments for him. So that’s how Billy Bob does it. Here I’ve been taking chicks to fancy dinners like an idiot when I should’ve been treating them like a roadie. Excuse me, I need to tell my date we’re bailing on Olive Garden tonight, and that she better know how to work a soundboard.

UPDATE: She told me to “eat a dick.” So, ladies, should I take that as “Yes, you’re getting laid tonight.” or “Perhaps at a later date?” If it helps with the decryption, she also tried to pepper spray me through the phone.

Thanks to Kristen whose physical prowess suggests she can haul some amps like a mofo.

Photos: WENN

  1. El Greco

    haha i just watched spanglish the other night…

  2. Sid

    I always thought Billy Bob would be into Tea bagging.

  3. BubbaGump

    B BoB Is BoBbaLiCiouS

  4. Slingblade Billy Bob

    Tea has nice hairy arms. mmmhmmm. You know what I say, hairy arms, hairy bush mmmhmmm

  5. Slingblade Billy Bob

    Man, I loved Tea in Family Man. Her little shower dance made me want to plug her in the worst way. And knowing that she was married to Duchovny, who had one of the largest porn collections in Hollywood–and bragged about it–and she was ok with it before he did sex rehab made me think she was pretty easy going. But now I see she let Billy bob plug her. I mean, Billy Bob. Let me say that again–Billy Bob. That is messed up.

  6. Good for BBT theres nothing like new tails…you know this only prove, hot chicks are into slimy dudes…

  7. Ang

    I bet he whispered in her ear “Yeah baby, yeah baby, you’re not gonna shit right for a week! “

  8. Bleh

    I feel a song coming on. I’m just a songbird like that.

    Bastard sons begat your cunting daughters
    Promiscuous mothers with incestuous fathers
    Ingrate souls condemned for all eternity
    Sustained by immoral observance
    A domineering deity
    On and on SOUTH OF HEAVEN!

  9. beech

    Mmmmm… tea. Ok, who the hell would name their daughter TEA?

  10. MILA

    mmmm billy bob .. hotttttttt *drools

  11. LargelyGay

    I’d fuck Billy Bob. Cause then it’d kind of be like I fucked Halle Berry.

  12. Harry Doyle

    Dood!!!!!! she was so hot in Bad Boys…. her best look yet!!!!!!!!

  13. I was once romatniclally involved with Tea. Damn she could poop like it was nobody’s tomorrow

  14. Sheva

    So Spanglish meets Friday Night Lights. That’s cold, really cold.

  15. Forde

    Hint number #1 – BBT most likely doesn’t take anyone except perhaps his senior parents to Olive Garden. No wonder your girlfriend thinks eating dick is an option.

  16. shar

    This is actually too funny to be true!!!!! Unfortunately I hate the idea of the kids having to maybe see this crap.

    If its True. Twins next.

  17. JsFritzy

    Billy Bob’s dong has a more impressive resume than half of Hollywood…

  18. Zomibe is as Zombie Does

    She’s a Zombie…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, run for you lives children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Sport

    She is so mousy and unattractive.

  20. I’d haul Billy Bob’s equipment any day. He’s a “bad boy” and sexy as HELL! He’s funny too….that’s what I like best. Yah!

  21. Lucy

    yup I agree, he’s a bad boy all right…good luck holding on to that one, Tea!!

  22. dontlooknow

    The only explanation can be that B-Bob has a peenie the size of Texas. Tea would exchange Duchovny for a peenie. Sad. Apparently, to some women, size DOES matter.

  23. cawwm

    she is cool..
    [__"tallhub.com"__] which is the hottest club in world for slenderly built singles seeking their romantic love.There has been thousands of single members online and many single girls or guys with hot and sexy figure are waiting for you. Don’t miss your love. Join us and hook up your beauty!

  24. emmyem

    Oh Man….Billy Bob is cool and hot and regular guys (like he is) just don’t get it.
    He’s FUNNY, he’s yes, masculine, he admits when things scare him (like Angelina Jolie did…scare him, that is), he’s just…..not marrying material, but Tea is hot, too.
    Hey, why not?
    Anyone see her in “Flirting with Disaster”? No, not a pun. She was so good looking and built then, and she is now.
    Hey, I’m a girl, and a heterosexual one, too.
    But I had to laugh when that over-rated idiot jackass Angelina was driving all over Beverly Hills looking for her husbad on HER Birthday, and he was here, in Columbus Ohio, having sexing with a hot waitress.
    True story.
    Sorry David. I liked you too. But you have a weak chin………………

  25. emmyem

    Whoops! I meant, “Having sex”, not having sexing”. I’m not from China, and I don’t promote those retarded sites like you do #23. Get out of here, you loser.

  26. jen hutchin

    Billy Bob is attractive in a slimey southern skinny way. Youd have to bathe hi first tho.

  27. Dr Zhivago

    A New York Guinea Wop and an Arkansas redneck. That’ll be the day. Spaghetti with possum meatballs

  28. asdfg

    “How does this guy keep getting chicks?” i completely agree. he looks like a child molester.

  29. Alexandra

    This Talbots bitch doesn’t deserve David. Maybe if she were more sensual, he wouldn’t have to look at porn all day just to get a hard-on. Man, if David was my man, I would worship him for being the genius he is, and he would worship me because I would make every one of his pornographic fantasies come true.

  30. the troof

    Even child molesters don’t look that creepy

  31. i feel guilty of saying this but the boy in those pictures looks like a crossbreed between Bjork and alien.

  32. X Rated files

    Billy Bob!!! This busted biatch is crazy and does not deserve D.D..

    Also, I’m confused as to why Duchovny has to check in to a clinic be treated for sex addiction? When he can just as well check in to my bedroom and be treated like a king…. Grrrrrrrrrrooooowwwwllll!!!

    Agent Mulder, I’ll give you an triple x-file you can investigate – hotness!!!

  33. I am 34yrs old, living in Nigeria .Africa.I am interesting most of things on this site.I am tall and very handsome looking.would like to have interesting woman too who is able to make me happy with love and others things.
    My hobbies are reading,swimming,playing with beautiful ladis.

  34. Chuls12

    Billy Bob and Tea looked pretty cozy last night at the Manure premier at Sundance!

  35. Morgan

    She is the most ugly irritating actress it is good David is pretty much done with this pencil nose none talented piece of crap.

  36. morgan

    Not to mention David can do way better.

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