Taylor Momsen is leggy and other news

- Kristen Bell is no Reese Witherspoon. (Not a link to Jake Gyllenhaal turning the lights off and using his best imagination face.) [Lainey Gossip]

- Audrina Patridge and her wonk-tits will soon find their true calling. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- January Jones skipped the SAG Awards to bang Jeremy Piven. Smart move considering everyone confuses you for Christina Applegate. [PopEater]

- Natalie Portman is stealing boyfriends now which means I need me a girlfriend. Because I have so much love to give. Yeah, that stuff. [Celebslam]

- Taylor Swift takes time off from John Mayer’s penis to fight cancer. [Just Jared]

- Renee Zellweger needs to stay away from automobiles, and not just because she’s a woman. [PopSugar]

- Susan Sarandon spanking random dudes. I have no explanation. [Amy Grindhouse]

- Ashley Simpson’s career is clearly in the shitbox, but at least she’s maintained her dignity by not beefing it during business meetings. [Socialite Life]

- John Edwards and his wife are legally separated. Again two years after it would’ve made a difference. [Betty Confidential]

- Mischa Barton is apparently taking her work clothes home. [Splash News]

Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter